Hi all, After a couple of months away from the guy I had the beginnings of a D/s relationship with we recently spent a bit of time together (in a vanilla way). I chose not to go to a party wih a load of people (who I knew would wonder where I was) but instead dropped him home and kind of invited myself in (although he didnt stop me). After A LOT of chat I finally found myself in a position to be lying next to him with my head a little on his chest - I really like this closeness and my hand found its way you know where. After a short while he suggested we move to his room and I said 'only if you want to' to which he replied 'I think I do.' We had had an open chat (they always were) and he insisted yet again that I was in control and that as long as I commanded what i wanted and that tone etc were right then he would comply. Trouble is I dont even know whether that was me in control because he knows that i like him more than he likes me and I wasnt going to turn down any opportunity to be close to him (I just like to cuddle - not very 'D' like I know lol). So we went to his room and lets just say I gave him hand relief and also a couple of fingers in the a*** - he even asked whether i wanted to learn a new trick - and of course I complied. Call me stupid but this doesnt really sound as though I am in control at all and plus although I dont find what i am doing horrible I am not exactly getting much pleasure out of it as we didnt go down the whole cropping etc route on this particular occasion . Ok I know this was unexpected (it wasnt my intention for this to happen) but it still seems like he is calling the shots and trying to make me believe that I am. If we find ourselves in a situation to 'play' again I do really want to show him that I can do it (although again I am still unsure whether I am doing this because I like it or because I know he does). He has said that I need to have almost a scenario in my mind - I guess have a plan of what I want to do, how I am going to do it and what I will do if he doesnt comply. And here is the place I get stuck. Apart from not being very imaginative I think a scenario I would like (and would be comfortable carrying out) is very different to what he would like. How do I get the two to marry? Any suggestions for some short scenes? Should I be brave and ask him what his fantasy scenes are? Apologies if I have babbled on too much MM p.s. He has asked me several times what site I come on to ask my various questions and its taking all my strength not to tell him - this is my space somewhere for me to ask and to get advice - may be that can be a basis for punishment?!