Ideas for mini scenarios

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by MistressMaria86, Oct 6, 2012.

  1. Hi all,

    After a couple of months away from the guy I had the beginnings of a D/s relationship with we recently spent a bit of time together (in a vanilla way). I chose not to go to a party wih a load of people (who I knew would wonder where I was) but instead dropped him home and kind of invited myself in (although he didnt stop me).

    After A LOT of chat I finally found myself in a position to be lying next to him with my head a little on his chest - I really like this closeness and my hand found its way you know where. After a short while he suggested we move to his room and I said 'only if you want to' to which he replied 'I think I do.' We had had an open chat (they always were) and he insisted yet again that I was in control and that as long as I commanded what i wanted and that tone etc were right then he would comply.

    Trouble is I dont even know whether that was me in control because he knows that i like him more than he likes me and I wasnt going to turn down any opportunity to be close to him (I just like to cuddle - not very 'D' like I know lol). So we went to his room and lets just say I gave him hand relief and also a couple of fingers in the a*** - he even asked whether i wanted to learn a new trick - and of course I complied.

    Call me stupid but this doesnt really sound as though I am in control at all and plus although I dont find what i am doing horrible I am not exactly getting much pleasure out of it as we didnt go down the whole cropping etc route on this particular occasion

    . Ok I know this was unexpected (it wasnt my intention for this to happen) but it still seems like he is calling the shots and trying to make me believe that I am.

    If we find ourselves in a situation to 'play' again I do really want to show him that I can do it (although again I am still unsure whether I am doing this because I like it or because I know he does).

    He has said that I need to have almost a scenario in my mind - I guess have a plan of what I want to do, how I am going to do it and what I will do if he doesnt comply. And here is the place I get stuck. Apart from not being very imaginative I think a scenario I would like (and would be comfortable carrying out) is very different to what he would like.

    How do I get the two to marry? Any suggestions for some short scenes? Should I be brave and ask him what his fantasy scenes are?

    Apologies if I have babbled on too much


    p.s. He has asked me several times what site I come on to ask my various questions and its taking all my strength not to tell him - this is my space somewhere for me to ask and to get advice - may be that can be a basis for punishment?!
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I think you're a little too hung up on whether he enjoys what you want to do to him. It's important that a sub enjoy a scene, but it's important to realize that subs don't have to enjoy a particular act in order to enjoy a scene. Many subs find the act of giving pleasure at least as pleasurable as the specific sex act. They can find deep pleasure in non-sexual acts like chores as well. So, unless he's put something off-limits, it's probably ok for you to do something to him purely because you know you will enjoy it. He's likely to enjoy your enjoyment.

    So just start fantasizing about your pleasures. Spend time day-dreaming or masturbating about what arouses you about dominance. Then develop one of your fantasies into a scene. Toss in a few things you know he enjoys. Then do it with him.
  3. ViriumsKeeper

    ViriumsKeeper New Member

    Greetings MistressMaria. It’s good that he seems to know what he wants, I think it will help lots to build scenes knowing how he likes to be rewarded, it is a good thing! You could right away get him to journal these things to give him a neutral place to list what he likes to help distance yourself from feeling like he’s in control while letting him feel your gaining it. You got your hands already in his ass maybe find his threshold here you could butt plug him start small make him earn something bigger! It is totally your choice what to do, tie him up, crop his ass red, make him bake you a pie, and when you feel your pushing him to hard give a little reward. It is rather hard to know what you want I like to find boundaries and brush against them, do not hesitate in what you want you’re going to make mistakes along the way, everyone does. Go over boundaries with him to make sure he is ready for what you want, if what you like is within the negotiated terms then have all the fun you want. Good luck MistressMaria.
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Maria: You've had trouble feeling like you were really in charge with this sub. He may want that feeling as much as you do. So learning to demand the things you want, even if they're not his turn ons, is important. That's going to make both of you feel like you're in charge. So focus on your core kinks. Do you like pain play? Then make sure that your sessions with him involve a good amount of spanking or cropping or whatever. Have you thought about pissing on him? Then do it.

    And have you incorporated verbal play into your sessions with him? Those are very powerful for me. When I have a boy kneeling in front of me, I love to say things like "faggot I want you to like my boots like the inferior bitch you are. I deserve your worship and adoration asshole. Feel how fucking powerful I am!" Said with conviction, that sort of thing can help generate the sense of superiority that you both want for you.

    Remember that most subs want to feel a sense of distance between themselves and their dom. They want the dom to feel more powerful and above them and they want to feel inferior and beneath the sub. So work to generate that gulf of power. Take his control away and increase yours.

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