I think I met a psycho

sebastian

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Ugh. A couple weeks ago I started chatting with a guy online who indicated that he was a switch. After chatting for a day or two, he announced that he wanted to be my sub, that he knew he really wanted to be a slave more than a dom, and hoped I could train him out of his dominant side. We really seemed to click, and this last weekend I went drove up to meet him and stay the night at his house.

We did a lot of humiliation and pain play. He loved being spanked and took everything I had to give him that way. We talked the next day, and I indicated that although I had a good time, I wasn't sure that we were a good match. We parted pretty amicable, or so I thought, and in a follow-up series of emails he thanked me, praised my skills, asked me for a good reference to other doms, and agreed that we were friends.

Tonight I got a furious email from him, talking about how much I had fucked him up, that he had been crying constantly, couldn't work, and what a terrible person I am. He somehow figured out where I work, and found out the last name of the boy I live with. I've apologized to him, but he seems incredibly angry.

So now I'm worried that he's going to contact my university and try to get me in trouble. Ugh
 
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Smallest

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I now completely understand why you wouldn't say where you worked. That is, in entirety, a bad situation.

Has he done or said anything to your last sub? Do you think you can have a lawyer or police officer speak to him without the blame shifting to you? I don't know much about the legality of BDSM in the states. Likewise, do you have your chat logs still?

It might be an idea, I suppose, to speak to the dean now, and let him know there's an old one-night stand who's angry and apparently stalking you
 
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sebastian

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He's contacted a few guys on the site we met through, and sent some emails to a boy we've both chatted with, but that's the extent of it. He doesn't seem to have contacted my sub at all, and at this point I think that sending the cops to him would probably just goad him into causing trouble for me. As long as he doesn't contact my employer, there's not likely to be any real fall-out. And I do have his emails and my chat logs as evidence if need be.

I think you're right about pre-emptively talking to my employer. I'll think I'll speak to the head of my department, who's a pretty decent guy. I think I can avoid making any direct references to BDSM, and just present him as a date gone crazy.

Of course, now I'm kicking myself for not being more cautious, for not spotting a few small signs that maybe there was something wrong with him, and so on. He seemed very stable and normal when we chatted, both online and on the phone, and in fact when we met in person. He was very enthusiastic, but that's pretty normal in a good sub. But part of me is blaming myself for this.
 
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Knots

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It's sad when "dates go crazy". Kind of tars a relatively positive experience for both parties.

Though I don't know him/much about the scenario I don't think, considering he remained "stable" for awhile after (emails, etc) that it's your fault for missing how "crazy" he is. I think "normal" people can get themselves worked up and do things they come to regret; he might just need time, a chat and a (maybe metaphorical, I wouldn't advise meeting again...) cuddle, though it's really up to you to make this judgement.

I think talking to the head of your department is a good idea, and I really don't think it's fair to beat yourself up over it; doms aren't mind readers.
 
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Are you dealing with a case of "delayed Sub-drop"? LOL!

I can relate to the difficulty behind discretion when it comes to dates and this discipline.. There are some "delightful" ones out there! I had the pleasure of meeting a few, and then sweeping up after their mental chaos run its course. Uhg indeed! Hang in there, and if it comes to light at work, plausible deniability! Who is the strange one making all the bizarre accusations...LOL! Not that I should share, but I have had to use the whole "I had to stop dating her after she asked for a casting of my penis.." with the boss! LOL!
 
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decoyicus

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Like dark said you have some plausible deniability here, still a quiet word to the boss couldn't hurt. I have had this same sort of thing with a potential submissive before, don't beat yourself up over it sometimes its difficult to pick up on warning signs and it's all to easy to brush them off as nothing.

I find this very delightful that so many share in the same experience in this area.. It is rough that it happens, but comforting to know its not a secluded result from dealing with the mentally questionable! LOL
 
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sebastian

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Are you dealing with a case of "delayed Sub-drop"? LOL!

It's possible, but I don't think so. I had a chat with a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist in the Federal Prison system, and he thinks that the guy has Borderline Personality Disorder, which is characterized by swings between adoring someone and hating them. The guy certainly does fit some of the criteria for it.
 
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