MIRROR: Download from MEGA
It will be extremely difficult to actually experience your fetish. Very few doctors will agree to amputate a healthy body part, and it is illegal for a non-doctor to perform surgery (practicing medicine without a license). And as has been pointed out, doing it yourself carries a high risk of serious injury or death.
Not all fetishes are realizable. Some people have fetishes for sex with centaurs, for being eaten by giant women, and so on. Others, like you, have fetishes that are not psychologically or physically healthy, for example being killed and cannibalized or being murdered and then fucked. The closest you're going to get safely is to role play out your fantasy with a willing participant who pretends to castrate you.
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