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Hi
This is the very first forum I've looked at and now joined. I'd really like some advice from people experienced in BDSM. Forgive the length of this - I'd just like some genuine advice please.
I'm in a relationship with a man who only recently revealed his interest in BDSM, fetishes, etc. It took 5 months for us to realise that we were both into the same things. He is naturally dom, me sub. It was a beautiful and exhilerating moment to discover this about each other and we had a fantastic time, discovering each other's fantasies and secrets.
I had never done anything remotely fetishistic in any other relationship so this was brand new to me - and very exciting, as it was so intense and loving. He was relatively new to BDSM but had dabbled very lightly a few times in it - eg light spanking.
The 'but' is that I have discovered that he has been discussing what we get up to in great detail with a female friend who is a very experienced sub, asking where to purchase equipment, etc.
I feel betrayed and very hurt because I thought that we were discovering things together. Instead there is a third party involved - both of them 'getting off' on their chats about me.
Am I over-reacting? Should I accept this? Because of the very strong emotional connection I have with him, I feel that what he has done is unforgivable. I'm not naive I'm just desperately desperately hurt.
This is the very first forum I've looked at and now joined. I'd really like some advice from people experienced in BDSM. Forgive the length of this - I'd just like some genuine advice please.
I'm in a relationship with a man who only recently revealed his interest in BDSM, fetishes, etc. It took 5 months for us to realise that we were both into the same things. He is naturally dom, me sub. It was a beautiful and exhilerating moment to discover this about each other and we had a fantastic time, discovering each other's fantasies and secrets.
I had never done anything remotely fetishistic in any other relationship so this was brand new to me - and very exciting, as it was so intense and loving. He was relatively new to BDSM but had dabbled very lightly a few times in it - eg light spanking.
The 'but' is that I have discovered that he has been discussing what we get up to in great detail with a female friend who is a very experienced sub, asking where to purchase equipment, etc.
I feel betrayed and very hurt because I thought that we were discovering things together. Instead there is a third party involved - both of them 'getting off' on their chats about me.
Am I over-reacting? Should I accept this? Because of the very strong emotional connection I have with him, I feel that what he has done is unforgivable. I'm not naive I'm just desperately desperately hurt.
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