How to request specific acts from my dom?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Edfsubwife, Jul 10, 2012.

  1. Edfsubwife

    Edfsubwife New Member

    Hi, new here!

    My husband and I engage in some light BDSM-mostly humiliation but also some forced sex. My problem is that in my relationship I'm the one that really gets into BDSM and my husband pretty much just does it for me, although he has fun with it too ;) This isn't usually a problem except that I have some trouble asking him for specific stuff. It's just that asking him can take the fun out of it for me. Sometimes he's not sadistic enough for me (I ask him for permission to orgasm and he says yes way too soon etc). How would you get a dom to be more sadistic without really telling him too much? Especially when I sometimes get too embarrassed to talk about it when we're not playing...
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Eds: First off, have you told him this? He's not psychic--he doesn't know what you want until you tell him. So explain to him that part of what you want is resistance, delay, and denial of gratification. You want to have to beg desperately to cum. Tell him that before you play, while you guys are having coffee or dinner, so you can have an open discussion of the issue.

    Also, have you read the Newcomer's FAQ post about kinkifying your Nice Vanilla Boyfriend (in this case, husband)? It might give you a few idea about ways to get him further into kink.

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