how to get a guy into BDSM

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by whosasexybitch, Apr 15, 2012.

  1. whosasexybitch

    whosasexybitch New Member

    I am REALLY into bdsm and want my man to try it all out i am a sub so i cant just take control. How do i ease him into it all?
     
  2. Speaking as an inexperienced Domme, a male friend and I just started chatting about the topic and I mentioned an interest in it. He said if I wanted to try it I could. We went to Erotica to look at some stuff and I bought my first item - a crop. It was (and still is) a bit of trial and error as I am still pretty new to it. I also thought that I should be on the receiving end - ie be a sub on one occasion so he could show me what type of things were possible. He suggests things to me outside of 'play time' and I try to incorporate as well as thinking of things to try myself. I dont think I am ever going to go into it really really heavily but hopefully he is getting an amount out of it and I make sure I do too. I also try and find examples of things to do online - it sems the more you can read up the better especially as a Domme. Wishing you luck. MM
     
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Have you read the Newcomer's FAQ? There's a section on how to kinkify a nice vanilla boyfriend. It may give you some ideas.
     
  4. YMIB

    YMIB New Member

    You can guide him through it. Consult with him and figure out what you're willing to do. Don't rush it and stay close to his comfort zone for now.0
     
  5. Kor

    Kor Member

    I'll still fall back to my usual suggestion - write, or find some short erotic fiction online that describe things you'd like to try, then have him read them when you're not around. Then ask if he'd like to try something similar with you.

    Not having to deal with someone's presence takes a lot of the pressure off gumming around a new idea. Presenting an idea as a unit also helps prevent misconceptions and establishes (at least tentatively) some preliminary limits.

    Depending on the attitudes he picked up while growing up, the idea of BDSM or even rough sex can range from "ick" to "get the hell away from me, you crazy bitch." That's where I started from, and my relationships with a couple of extremely submissive girlfriends were a classic train wreck; they knew what they wanted, but didn't know quite how to explain it. I had the vocabulary, but I didn't handle the situations well at all.
     

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