This is going to be a long one. Before I even begin, let me point out that
there is no cheat code to magically get yourself a partner, let alone a domme with whom you will be mutually happy with forever.
First off: You seem (from the little I've seen of you) to not be meshing the fact that your fantasy is also a lifetime partnership. You wouldn't look for a spouse by saying 'I'm looking for someone to move in with and combine finances with and then marry so we can be together forever.' No, you would tell them what you're looking for in a partner, what you bring to a relationship, and the fact that you are hoping to find someone you can
eventually marry.
And still before bringing up how-tos, that "
eventually" is important. You should not
ever just jump into 24/7. It is dangerous for both you and your partner, and it leaves very little possibility for a healthy kink driven relationship.
All the stuff about communicating with people and posting personals
here (under 'Using the Personals Forum') applies, even if you are looking on other websites. As well as that, please read the
FAQ. While you're at it, you should also read the responses to your post
here, to get an idea what is wrong dangerous with overzealous, inexperienced people. I would like to assume that since it has been nearly a year, you have learned since then, but on the other hand, you never did reply to my PM or to the thread after that, so I don't know if you did.
Alright then, on to how to find someone. I really think you need to consider what you are looking for.
If you are looking for a relationship wherein you are
only a play partner and 'slave,' you probably should not be looking into 24/7, because it would be a burden to both you and your Mistress to have you living together, sharing groceries, possibly not working, just to fulfill a kink of yours.
If you are primarily looking for a relationship where you can share a BDSM dynamic, learn about different kinds of play and submission, and bond with someone, you still shouldn't be starting off with 24/7, and you should probably not be trying to be a complete slave until you've learned more.
If you're looking for a relationship to last the rest of your life, for better or worse, but kink is important to you, you should probably focus more on finding someone who complements your life well (in every way outside of kink as well as kink), then focus on figuring out what BDSM dynamic works between you.
Based on your personal and your post here, it sounds like you want to go straight into 24/7. While I again will reiterate that this is a
dangerous, bad idea (and not in a fun, risky, kinky way), you must also realize that this means you are asking someone to devote most of their time to you, a complete stranger, who just walked up and asked to be their slave. There are very few reasons anyone would accept that offer, and the reasons one would are almost certainly abusive. This is where I will again suggest you read the FAQ.
Basically, I'm saying you need to re-think what you want.
As to the answer to your specific question- there is no one way to find a partner, for any of those things.
Collarme, Fetlife (
in personals groups), OkCupid, local events/munches (find through google, Fetlife, and local clubs), and at vanilla activities you enjoy are all good places to look for someone.
Again, what will apply most depends what you're looking for: kink to get your rocks off? OkC, CM, and maybe Fet. Kink to learn? Fet, CM, and munches. A 'forever' relationship with kink? Munches, activities, and maybe the websites. Whatever the case, there's no problem with using all of those, or with only picking some, although if you ever complain about not having luck, you'd better be using them all.
Once you meet a domme you're interested in, you'll have to prove yourself a bit, as you would beginning any relationship, but especially a power exchange one. Although she may do it in a less obvious way, the domme you speak to should also be 'proving' herself as far as what she brings to a relationship.
On your end- Why should she want you as a sub? That shouldn't be a list of all the things you want, it should be your skills and personality and so forth, otherwise you come across as a 'do me!' sub (that is, a sub topping from the bottom who just wants a dom/me to do what it wants so they can get off, not to actually be pleasing).
Of course, your wants and needs
are just as important as your domme's- you just shouldn't act as though
your needs are why
she should be interested. Most people do not want to date someone
only to fulfill their needs, and if they are dominant, the probability of disinterest in that will multiply.
If you're looking for something long term, take your time. No one finds a life partner in a day. Even if you're looking for something short term or casual, take your time and don't rush the other party. Whatever happens, remember SSC/RACK/PRICK, remember what 'consent' means, and how it applies to both you and your domme, and that you and her both always have the right to end the relationship, or even end the communication preceding a relationship, and that if she makes that choice, you need to act like an adult and move on, and if you make that choice, you can block her and take any precautions for your safety needed if she keeps contacting you (just as she should if you keep bothering her).
Don't contact someone outright with sexual fantasies.
Do read their profile before contacting them (if the contact is online), do read and respect their messages, do respect their other partners even if the polyamory means taking your interest and leaving.
There are many threads on Fetlife and the internet in general about the red flags a msub can give a domme when contacting her; I think you should try to figure those out if you want to increase your success rate (as well as figure out why they are wrong. If you only avoid it for form's sake, they will be able to tell, not to mention that they are all more than impolite).
These often overlap with abuse red flags: push for quick involvement, push for committment, apparent mood swings, etc, but also tend to include immediate sexual or power exchange fantasy or attempt, addressing her disrespectfully
(disrespectful= as anything other than what she has indicated her preference is. If her preference is pigheaded ('Mistress Goddess of the World') and makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't be contacting her anyway, and you should probably take that as a red flag yourself. It has always been a bad sign when mdoms insist everyone else call them Sir/Lord/Master. If she hasn't indicated a preference, just use the name she introduced herself with or her username, whichever fits the situation), overly generic messages that sound like they've been spammed to many women, and subs immediately prostrating them before them.
And overall, be honest about who you are and what you want. Only do what you are comfortable with, and respect her right to be the same.