How to be a secret slave?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Schmonzi, Oct 20, 2014.

  1. Schmonzi

    Schmonzi New Member

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    Hey there

    I want to be a slave to my girlfriend but she's not into that and only jokes about it how I am an idiot if I ask her to be a bit more dominant etc.

    She actually is a bit dominant in bed, with squeaking my nipples as they may hurt a day after, but that's it.

    Actually I just want to be a slave for her 24/7 but without her "noticing" it.

    The first thing I gonna do is listen to her orders at all times and do everything she says.

    But what else?

    Is there a manual for this type?

    Any help is really appreciated, thanks :)
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    BDSM is consensual power-exchange. What you're trying to do is non-consensual power exchange, and it's going to end up badly. BDSM is hard enough to do when both parties talk openly about their desires. If she doesn't want to be dominant, no amount of secretly slaving for her is going to make this work.

    So my advice is to have another very honest conversation with her. Explain to her how important being submissive is to you. Read through the Newcomer's FAQ and look for the post about kinkifying a Nice Vanilla Boyfriend--it should give you some ideas about how to approach this and why your gf might be resistant. But, if after that conversation she is still adamant that she doesn't want to be in charge of you, you are left with two choices. 1) Accept that you're not going to be her slave and try to put those desires on the shelf for the time being or 2) find a new girlfriend who is more sexually compatible with you.
  3. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    ^-- Pretty much all of this.

    Also, if someone said 'I want to be a dom without my girlfriend noticing. I'm going to start ordering her around more, in and out of bed, and be more physically aggressive. I hope she turns into a fifties housewife style sub' you would probably think 'holy shit, this guy sounds like an abuser! even if he doesn't hit her, he's forcing this weird ideal on his girlfriend.' (or at least, I hope you would think that way).

    It isn't any more okay for a submissive to force it on their partner or try to trick their partner into it than it is for a dominant to.
  4. Stranfal

    Stranfal Active Member

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    Tell her about your fantasies! Talk to her and she understands everything, and if you do not understand then throw. Then imagine Mrs. podyschesh to your liking
  5. Stranfal

    Stranfal Active Member

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    And generally try to humiliate her own, maybe after that she will understand what you want from it
  6. JenneMycro

    JenneMycro New Member

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    If you don't talk to her, tell her what (in detail if possible) you want her to do and she finds out you're trying to force it on her , she's going to leave.....thats what any sane person would do!
  7. MissVeroniKa

    MissVeroniKa New Member

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    Sebastian makes a good point.

    Although, it is VERY hot to sneakily serve a vanilla. My boss was vanilla, but I found my 'headspace' in serving him. I would kneel at his side to access his file drawer, routinely daily. I would polish his shoes while he was at lunch, routinely placing them in the same place.

    My boss noticed the routine, but there wasn't a power exchange offered, more of a service gift.

    Maybe that's what you're looking for? The satisfaction of serving?

    BDSM should include consent, so I wouldn't mess with it unless she gets on board.

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