How do you do BDSM things over texting/internet?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by spike, Nov 7, 2012.

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  1. spike

    spike New Member

    I know people do that. But how?

    Here is my story, I met a guy in different state and he ask me to be his Domme. He wants to be my sub, my slave.

    I have never thought I would be interested doing BDSM, but the more I read about it (yes, I read the FAQ and learned a lot, thank you guys) the more I am into it.

    It is hard for us to see each other, can we do D/S over texting or internet? what can I ask him to do? I really don't have that much imagination....
     
  2. Hi spike,
    Welcome to the board. The FAQ's a great start, but now you've read it let's get down to some specific examples.

    Gosh...it's hard to know where to start because there are a lot of possibilities for remote domination. You will need to figure out what is practical for you based on how extreme he would like you to get, and his own personal circumstances. You also need to figure out how to combine simple texting with something more complex, like a webcam session.

    You need to develop a "routine" set of things you ask him to do. Then add to that a set of "punishments" if he fails to meet your standards.

    One example of a "routine" activity would be the red light/green light game. This normally has to be done on a webcam session so you can see if he's obeying you. You tell him to jerk off in front of you, but if you say "red light" he has to stop. When you say "green light" he can carry on. Of course he has to ask for permission to come, and it's up to you if you grant it or not. If he comes without your permission, this would be a reason to use one of the punishments below. When he comes, I would recommend always to make him lick up his come. Or you can have him come over a pair of panties, which he would then have to wear the following day (see below).

    Another routine activity would be verbal humiliaiton. Just tell him he's a loser, that he'll never, ever get to fuck you, that all he's capable of is to jerk off. I'm sure he has a story of a time he suffered from premature ejaculation, or he couldn't get it up. Get him to tell you the story.

    Get him to buy a dildo and then on a webcam session show you how he can suck off a guy's cock. Get him to deep throat it, and explain how you're going to teach him to swallow. When he jerks off later, and you make him lick up his own come, remind him that's what it will taste like when he sucks a guy off. Tell him you're going to turn him into a rent boy so you can make some money from him.

    To take this to another level, get him to take the dildo up his ass while you abuse him for a while, and then make him suck it off.

    Tell him that he has has to text you for permission to go to the bathroom during the day. If he has to go urgently and does not have time to ask permission (or you don't have a chance to respond) then he has to confess it to you, and he'll take a punishment.

    If he's overweight, why not set him goals to get thinner? He has to weigh in regularly, and do it on a webcam so you can see he's not cheating. Make him join a weightwatchers group. If you can combine the weight loss with chastity then this would be a pretty powerful incentive for him to lose weight. There are ways to do remote keyholding if you decide that chastity is a good option.

    Get him to buy an inflatable sex doll and make him fuck it in front of you on a webcam. Tell him this is the only kind of woman he could ever fuck for real. You could either make this a humiliating punishment, or his reward. Make him give the doll oral sex after he's come inside her.




    I think a few people on here might have ideas for other routine tasks, but here are some ideas for punishments.



    • Define one day as a "begging day". For example on that day he has to send you a text message with a desperate plea to remain your slave every hour - even during the night. The messages all have to be different. You don't need to stay awake to receive them because your phone will tell you what time the messages were sent, and you can review them the next day at your leisure. But he has to stay awake to send them! Use it as a way he can demonstrate his devotion to you.
    • Some men are into financial domination. I find this a bit of a concern, personally. But an easy way to simulate this is to get him to send a donation to charity. Try to figure out what would be a "painful" charity donation.
    • He can, of course, send you gifts. That's not necessarily financial domination. But you could, for example, send him a picture of a sexy dress you'd like to buy. He pays for it, and you wear it on a date. This is a form of remote cuckolding. You tease him about how your boyfriend loved the dress, and how he fucked you all night...that kind of thing.

    • He could write you a confession. This could focus on somethig he feels guilty about, and you get him to reveal his secrets.
    • Christmas is coming, and it's the season of good will. Get him to "adopt an elderly person" in his neighborhood as an act of slavery to you. He has to offer to do some kind of job for that person (like clean their yard, keep their driveway clear, etc.). It's a nice thing to do anyway, so why not weave it into his slavery to you? He has to take pictures of the "before and after" to show you how good a job he did.

    • You force him to wear women's underwear under his work clothes during the day. Obviously this doesn't work if he's married, or if he has a job (like a fireman or gym instructor) where he might have to change clothes in front of other people.
    • Self-flagellation. The Catholic Church has brought many delights to the world, and one of them seems to be that the more extreme members will actually beat themselves with small whips. This is an obvious thing for a remote Domme to "witness" over a webcam session.
    • If he likes the idea of pain, but is not allowed toshow marks from a beating then use an electric dog collar. He buys an electric shock collar (thirty dollars on EBay) and as a punishment he straps it to his balls. On a webcam session he shows you the shock setting (they have numerical readouts), and you tell him to press the button if you want to shock him.
    • Can he wear a chastity device? Again...not if he's got a wife or girlfriend. But if he can wear one then you can become a remote keyholder.


    There are tons of possibilities.

    Cheers,
    Stanley
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2012
  3. spike

    spike New Member

    Stanley

    Thank you so so much. Wow, there are a lot of possibilities. Like I said, I am very new, totally have no idea how to start, but there are two slaves waiting for me to dom them. I kinda cheat a bit, I use one guy's idea on the other one.....;)
     
  4. That's a great idea :)

    You can take that to the next level by asking each of them to write down their fantasies - and see if you can use the ideas on each other.

    One other thing I'd suggest if if you can give a quick summary, or a few examples of the things you're doing so we know know "where you are" on the scale of extremes.

    Also, by keeping a note of what you've done with which guy you will avoid repetition. Repetition is fine in the routine play, but you need to be more varied in punishments.

    And once you have some experience under your belt, why not write an entry for the FAQ on tips for remote domination?

    Cheers,
    Stanley
     
  5. spike

    spike New Member

    Yes, I did make them write down ideas for each other....

    what i have done so far... I make them write things/pictures on their body/cock, like "I am your save to use"; roll dice, determine how many times they masturbate and how long each time they do it in a day; make them buy and dress up in girl's clothes and take pics.
     
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