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Hi guys, this is my first hour in the forum and I'm looking for some help regarding me and my wife.
The thing is: we were high school sweethearts and we grew in terms of sexual experience, side by side. I always considered myself a little ahead of her, but I always gave her time to grow and feel comfortable with my body and, mainly, with her body and we grew in terms of sex at our own pace.
One year ago I felt that she was ready for another jump in her sexual behaviour (for instance, after 17 years of sexual activity she started to do oral sex to me - I started to do toher in our 1st year of dating). Of course I was happy with that and felt that we were going somewhere in our sexual experience.
Then, 10 months ago she came to me and said that she wanted to start a BDSM lifestyle. I felt very odd, I really didn't expected it from her and I can say that was a shock for me. But once again, I was prepared to grow and to learn about the lifestyle and from some web pages I found that the best way to start the lifestyle as a couple was to start with a little spanking, some soft bondage and so on.
So we started with that and, once more, allowed ourselves grow. Simultaneously, my wife started to reach for erotic books in the subject of BDSM and started to chat and participate in forums where the subject was discussed, and I made the mistake of not keep in pace with her knowledge.
Then, 2 weeks ago she told me that she felt like our relationship has finished and that she doesn't feels emotinaly attached to me to want me as her sexual partner, and so our marriage was finished.
My first reaction was panic. I didn't expected it, and I thought "well, maybe she feels atracted with some other guy, and she doesn't want me anymore". But after talking to her (actually after this we started to comunicate better then before), she confessed me that she realised that I never can give her the lifestyle she wants because I'm almost in the same place as she if not behind. She told me that she needed someone that she feels comfortable enough to see him as her dom and give herself to him, and I could never be that guy because that guy has to be several steps ahead of her to allow her to give herself.
So my question is: is there any hope? Can I do something to make her look to me as her dom, specially when we don't have a sexual relationship anymore?
I love my wife and I feel I'm ready to take the steps to become a good dom (I haven't done yet because I didn't know this was that important to her). Do you have any suggestion of what to do next to become the dom I want to be?
The thing is: we were high school sweethearts and we grew in terms of sexual experience, side by side. I always considered myself a little ahead of her, but I always gave her time to grow and feel comfortable with my body and, mainly, with her body and we grew in terms of sex at our own pace.
One year ago I felt that she was ready for another jump in her sexual behaviour (for instance, after 17 years of sexual activity she started to do oral sex to me - I started to do toher in our 1st year of dating). Of course I was happy with that and felt that we were going somewhere in our sexual experience.
Then, 10 months ago she came to me and said that she wanted to start a BDSM lifestyle. I felt very odd, I really didn't expected it from her and I can say that was a shock for me. But once again, I was prepared to grow and to learn about the lifestyle and from some web pages I found that the best way to start the lifestyle as a couple was to start with a little spanking, some soft bondage and so on.
So we started with that and, once more, allowed ourselves grow. Simultaneously, my wife started to reach for erotic books in the subject of BDSM and started to chat and participate in forums where the subject was discussed, and I made the mistake of not keep in pace with her knowledge.
Then, 2 weeks ago she told me that she felt like our relationship has finished and that she doesn't feels emotinaly attached to me to want me as her sexual partner, and so our marriage was finished.
My first reaction was panic. I didn't expected it, and I thought "well, maybe she feels atracted with some other guy, and she doesn't want me anymore". But after talking to her (actually after this we started to comunicate better then before), she confessed me that she realised that I never can give her the lifestyle she wants because I'm almost in the same place as she if not behind. She told me that she needed someone that she feels comfortable enough to see him as her dom and give herself to him, and I could never be that guy because that guy has to be several steps ahead of her to allow her to give herself.
So my question is: is there any hope? Can I do something to make her look to me as her dom, specially when we don't have a sexual relationship anymore?
I love my wife and I feel I'm ready to take the steps to become a good dom (I haven't done yet because I didn't know this was that important to her). Do you have any suggestion of what to do next to become the dom I want to be?
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