Hot wax

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by RS1981, Jan 12, 2011.

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  1. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

    I expressed an interest in doing hot wax play with my pet, but there's a little problem. She has actually had bad experiences with it outside of a BDSM context. The last thing I want to do is have her relive a traumatic experience, but is there any possible way to ease her into it? Or should I just leave it alone?
     
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Start by doing a lot of reading about it so that you really understand proper procedures, safety, etc. That may give her some confidence that it's not so dangerous. Try it on yourself so you understand what it feels like. You might even have her try doing it to you, so that knows that you won't do anything to her that you won't do to yourself first.

    You also need to have a serious discussion in which you explain that you're interested in doing this. Ask her about her bad experience, what she's afraid of in specific, and so on. Ask her if this is a hard limit or a soft limit. If it's a hard limit, accept that for the time being but let her know that you might want to discuss it again at some point in the future. She needs to know that you'll only do it if she's willing to let you do it. If it's a soft limit, let her know that you won't spring it on her as a surprise. You'll plan for it and do it when she's ready to push her limits. Perhaps let her set the date. And let her veto it if she's not ready.
     
  3. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

    Thanks for your advice, I talked to her about it and she said she'll consider it. I'm happy she's being open-minded, hopefully after she finds out that it's not terribly painful if it's done correctly and without malicious intent she'll be willing. I've done it to myself out of curiosity before, and I actually like it.
     
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    One of the major factors in wax play is the height from which the wax is dripped. The higher the drip, the cooler the wax is when it hits the skin. So when you do get to play, start with the candle higher up than normal, so the wax is cooler when it hits. This will help her relax and feel like it's not a threat. Make sure the candles you use are the right type for wax play. The wrong candle can seriously hurt the sub.
     
  5. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

    Okay that sounds simple enough. When I did it to myself I used one of those candles in a jar, I actually think it was scented but I can't remember. When I did it though I was pretty close to my skin but it didn't hurt much. I assume it's different for everyone though because not everyone has the same pain threshold.
     
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Find a good guide to wax play on line. You need to make sure you get the right type of candle--some candles have chemicals in them that raise the melting point and therefore make them too hot to use. My understanding is that you normally want a 9" drop.
     
  7. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

    So I just did a little research on candles, and it sounds like beeswax is best because it melts fastest. Is this true or is paraffin better?
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2011
  8. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

    Just thought I'd do an update on my wax research, I found a site here http://www.bdsm-education.com/wax.html but it's still hard to decide which kind of candle I should get. I want one that's of course safe, but still provides enough heat for pain play. Apparently beeswax burns hotter than what's recommended so I should rule that out. What would be the best?
     
  9. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Try looking at this site http://www.kufs.org/waxplayinfo.htm
    I haven't done wax play, but this page looks very well-organized and seems like it would be good for a novice. Plain white paraffin candles look best, from what I've read. You can get them in tall round glass containers, which are good for controlling the drip.
     
  10. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

    Hi RS -

    Typically Beeswax may melt faster, but it holds heat the best and tends to run much hotter than parafin.

    Usually the best candles for wax play are the cheapest. You can find "emergency" candles at most hardware stores, Walmart, Target, etc.

    Most people don't use them because they burn fast and drip a lot. For mood lighting most like candles that last longer.

    Stick to parafin tea or emergency candles.

    If I come across any good articles on wax selection, I'll let you know.

    Also.... Any color you add to a candle will change it's heat retention properties, even parafin.

    Hope this helps
     
  11. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

    From Xeromag - Here's the link

    http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsafety.html

    This site has short references to almost all aspects of BDSM play. Bookmark it.

    Here's the reference

    Hot candle wax is excellent for sensation play. However, all candles are not created equal! If you want to experiment with candle wax, it's best to use plain white paraffin candles, of the kind usually sold in grocery stores as "emergency candles." Scented and colored candles can contain plasticisers that make them burn much hotter. In particular, avoid all-black candles and beeswax candles; these typically burn very hot.

    Another reference from BDSM Digest for you

    http://www.bdsmdigest.com/tag/wax-play/
     
  12. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    My master and I have done a tiny bit of wax play, and it started out with a massage oil candle. You poured the wax from the candle onto your partners back for a sensual massage

    Something like that might be a good place to start, the wax wasn't very hot and I got a lovely massage out it! Its very relaxing and casual
     
  13. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

    I got some great advice from everyone, I had a feeling paraffin would be best. I might take your advice though SLP and start with a massage candle and work up from there. I don't think I want to get too hardcore with the wax play yet anyway because I have some very romantic plans for my pet and I in the hopefully near future, and massage candles sound perfect.
     
  14. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

    Thanks slp. I didn't know anything about those.

    Gonna get one.
     
  15. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    No problem you guys! They're really a lot of fun!
     
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