I knew something was coming, I've been a gamer for like 15 years, every day of my life I have played some game somewhere with intensity, like my fav thing in the world, 1 day 2 months ago I just stopped, no interest. I've been talking with people less and less...Sleeping more and more, struggling more and more to do daily things.
Basically after a nice 1.5 years without it, it's back. I poofed because frankly as silly as it sounds, I actually didn't even have the motivation to open the website. It is silly, I really enjoy it here and a lot of you...but I just couldn''t even find the energy to do it.
So now I'm back on Paxil, after a few weeks of shaking, being high and floating between insomnia and sleeping non stop, I made it here. But I feel freakish being here, I have no sex drive. It's dead thanks to my paxil. Tends to be a side effect for me...
Sorry to hear that you aren't doing well. I actually completely understand that part about not even feeling any point to visiting a particular forum you use to go to. I am really trying my best to get through what my ex did to my mind after being unfaithful to me, but even despite that we never even met, it isn't easy. I am still trying to pick up all the pieces. It's not that I miss her or anything, especially as she lied about so many things that I wouldn't even know what to miss about her, but I just feel nothing... at least this weekend. It's difficult to imagine that things are going to change, and I feel that I am heading in that direction, as well... wanting to do nothing. Finding no point in doing anything. Finding that you just as well might sit and stare into the floor for hours. Not quite there, yet, but I'm getting there. :/ However, I've already lived my life for many years, now, not having pretty much any interest to do the things I "like", such as playing videogames, reading mangas or watching anime. Not even listening to trance music is something I feel much like doing. My interest in these things started coming back when I met my ex, and my ex before that, but I'm back where I was before, again, now. It's just so uninteresting. All of it. Even if I laugh if I read a nice manga... it's still just not actually interesting or memorable. Like when I was my worst some years ago, I feel like I may end up sleeping as much as I possibly can, again... I don't know. I shouldn't start doing that, but that seems like the most interesting thing there is for me to do, right now. A shame with all the nightmares, though, but those years back, I found that I got used to them. They got worse and worse in all sorts of manners, but eventually I just didn't react to it.
I don't believe in anti-depressants. All SSRI's (such as Paxil) kill your sex drive, and also tend to make you go fat. Other "meds" fuck you up for life by giving you neurological damage that may make your face twitch for life or whatever else they may fuck up with you. Others make males produce breast milk and females go sterile. A dark, dark world out there in the psychiatry business and people with mental problems are used as tools for income for these scum of the Earth.
...Heh, yes, I am in a rather dark mood, right now. So little to be happy about. Players, rapists, "sexual abusers" (rapists), everywhere. People who see nothing of other kinds of darkness of the world and end up indirectly helping it to become even worse. Airport nude scans becoming standard and people get used to it. Threat of terrorism used to surveil people more and more, eventually even causing the outlawing of encryption (on the way in the US). Cameras in more and more electronics, making you far more vulnerable to end up on a photo you didn't want to be taken, and maybe the camera even ends up being used by someone else to take photos by remote command after you got a virus on your computer or your mobile. Maybe a photo of you or your partner, naked, due to remote use of your webcam or mobile. It's a sick, sick world out there. :/ It makes me feel ill thinking about it all.
I hope I didn't depress you more by writing this.... but at least there is someone here who understand how difficult it can be to merely write a short post. You may not have the same concerns with the world that I have, but the results in your mood are similar.