Help with Submissive

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by MissDominatrix, Sep 20, 2012.

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  1. MissDominatrix

    MissDominatrix New Member

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    Hey all I am new to the forum. I have some experience in this but not a lot. I am looking for a submissive now though and I need some help. I have a person who is very interested but wants to pay me or buy me things. Is this normal?

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    Hi Miss D,
    I think it's pretty common for men to want to take part in "financial domination" - and I would be amazed if you don't receive a number of PMs from folks on this site as a result of your post.

    There was an interesting documentary called "Sex, Lies and Rinsing Guys" on the UK Channel 4 a few months ago.

    If you are UK-based you can probably use the Channel 4 catch-up website to view it.

    If you're outside the UK, I found a short clip on YouTube that hopefully won't be blocked in your country.

    The impression I got watching the video is that there might be a correlation between men who get turned on by this and men who develop compulsive feelings towards a woman. I'm no expert in human psychology, so I could be completely wrong in my assumption; but you should obviously take the usual precautions if you are embarking on a new relationship.

    The three women in this video were all rather unpleasant people IMHO, and showed zero understanding for their submissive "clients".

    In contrast it sounds like you are in this for a proper sub/Domme relationship and the fact that the submissive you have found is into financial humiliation is just a coincidence. As the Domme you can take the relationship in whatever direction you prefer, of course. But as long as the gifts are not going to bankrupt the guy then it seems relatively harmless. By the way - you could always put cash gifts into a separate account and just return the money at some point :)


    EDIT: I found the show online for download if you can't get it on Channel 4. Take your pick of your favorite download site:
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2012
  3. PrincessHeather

    PrincessHeather New Member

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    It's Normal

    I have many subs who have a financial kink. People get a rush, a high or adrenaline from doing things that we may not understand. So yes, it's normal. Good luck to you.
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    It's often called being a money slave or being a cash domme. It's clearly a turn on for many subs. However you would be wise to be cautious about who you accept money from. Men who give money often expect the recipient to 'put out' in some fashion. A money slave may not expect sex from you, but he will almost certain expect time and energy from you, even if he is telling you he's worthless and doesn't deserve your attention. So if someone offers to be your money slave, think about how much time you're willing to spend on this slave. Set up clear rules about what his payments to you will get him and what they won't, and then stick to those rules.
  5. MistressAdriana

    MistressAdriana New Member

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    I agree with the above posts. Most of all my subs have a money fetish and it's more than just "pay me" or "buy this for me." If you explore deeper into power exchange, you'll find that a money fetish is correlated with it. I am a psychology nerd, so I like to explore why subs have this kind of kink and it also helps you develop a D/s relationship with them. But simply saying, "pay me" may or may not get a sub just to had you money.
  6. blekker

    blekker New Member

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    that could be considered as prostitution. warning.
  7. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    No. Financial domination is not at all prostitution.
  8. fa975028

    fa975028 New Member

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    it looks like !
  9. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    I'm not into financial domination (being both submissive and poor), so I won't be the best at explaining it, but I'll have a go.

    Prostitutes are paid to perform sexual favours of your choosing.

    ProDommes are paid to do non sexual kink play for subs (pro subs and male prodoms exist but are comparatively rare)

    FinDommes are in kink relationships wherein their subs pay tribute and send gifts, not for sex or really even in exchange for play, but to show that they love/worship the domme. This can also encompass controlling the sub financially (which for one makes the sub helpless and for another is an extension of the existing dynamic and fetish). Both the domme and sub in this situation like each other and want this kind of power exchange for the core of their kink relationship.

    Calling a consensual financial domination relationship prostitution is like calling a sadomasochistic relationship abuse.
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2013
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