Help with ideas for real life role play (40's)

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Zepoll, Sep 30, 2013.

  1. Zepoll

    Zepoll New Member

    Here's my (our) background. We're in a long distance relationship. She's in another state for school. We're both in our 40's and she's getting her Ph.D.... so even though I say long distance relationship and school... we're not early 20's.

    I'm going to visit her next week and we'll be doing a scene. What I'm looking for is some help with some additional details.

    We've established a "character" that she plays when we RP. Her character is a very sheltered vanilla house wife who's secretly "discovering" her sexual side. In one of our first RP's she went to get a massage.. and during the massage the masseuse starts getting forward, touching her in places that she shouldn't be touched and eventually fucks her. All the while he's telling her it's all part of the massage. Of course she knows it isn't, but allows herself to "believe" the lie and lets him bring her to orgasm. Then, as a "tip" she allows him to finish inside her.

    We completely act out the entire thing. I leave the room and leave her a voice recording that sets the scene and after she's listened and is "in character" then she'll text me and I'll come to the room and we go.

    So this weekend I'm going up and we're going to act out the following.

    She's the same character, but has had a couple mild experiences. She's decided to sign up to be a slave to a stranger in a controlled setting. I don't know if this really exists or not, but in my fantasy she's signed up with a company that has put her (as well as the male) through background checks, physicals, medical evaluations and STD tests. She doesn't know the male that she'll be slave to, but she shows up and she's his to play with.

    We're both new to the bondage part of thing, so we won't get into anything to exoctic.

    She will basically go through three scenes: (all males are played by me)

    1.) The Host/ The Gentleman: This will be her arrival to the room where she'll meet the host. He'll blindfold her, and go over the rules. Reinforcing that she is aware of what she's agreeing too. After getting repeated concent he'll make her perform oral on him. And explain that Hector will be in to clean her in preparation for The Client.

    2.) Hector and the cleaning. Scene two is an orderly type person who is responsible for getting her clean and ready for the client. This is a version of a real life fantasy of hers... being dirty and being bathed for someone else to use. Of course being blindfolded and having given consent to be used, Hector will take advantage of her in the name of cleaning her.

    I'm not sure how far Hector will go, but he will definitely molest her, feel her up, and finger her, and generally be crude. I don't know if he'll make her cum, or if he'll cum in, or on, her.

    3.) The Client: Think the movie "Hostel" but without the blood and gore. The man has paid money to have this person to play with. And she's agreed to be played with. I intend to have an under the bed harness to restrain her. I also want to have a collar with D-rings and leash.

    We're not into major pain, or serious rope play. Maybe one day, but not this time. The goal is make her lose control and cum over and over and over again. I want her to holler to stop and beg for mercy because it is so intense.

    I have two lelo vibrators. The remote one that inserts inside her that I control, and a standard one that hits the G-Spot. I have a spanking thing that is leather on one side and feathers on the other, I also intend to get a butt plug, some fruit (for eating, not inserting), and something that make the place smell nice.


    Here's where the help comes in: I can basically go from there and make a whole day of it. Which IS the plan. But what I'm asking for is some tips from those more experienced. What do you say during it all? What are some things that you do that work well.

    She won't mind a little pain. She's excited about a little humiliation.

    I feel like I've got a good "outline" of the whole event, but I want to fill in the details.

    Things like... The Inspection.. where the Host and The Client come in after Hector leaves and they both do a "walk around" inspecting her to make sure that she's up to The Clients requests. Inspecting/smelling her pussy, testing the tightness of her ass to make sure she's what he wants. Things like that.

    Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    She's left this up to me, which is a thrill, but it's also a huge responsibility and I want to get it right. She's love everyone we've done so far, but I really want this one to go well.

    Thanks you in advance for any input.

  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    It sounds to me like you've got a good start. If you're looking for tips about how to talk dirty, look at my post in the Newcomer's FAQ. It's important when talking dirty to sound confident. I find that it helps to sound a little angry, like you're pissed off that you have to deal with this inferior sub. But there are other ways to approach dirty talk. Hector could be very clinical, like he's washing a cow rather than a woman. Dehumanization can be very humiliating. So that character could say things like "hmm, your breasts are very small. I'm not sure the client will be satisfied with them. But we don't have time to get another girl, so I guess you'll have to do."

    Another option would be for the client to be very 'silky', sophisticated and gentle but aggressive. Subs often love the 'omniscient' dom, who seems to know what the sub is thinking. One way you can simulate that to say things that focus her attention on what you're doing. "I'll bet it feel really good when I rub your clit. That feels really intense, doesn't it? Look at how aroused your getting by what I'm doing." Or alternately he could say "It really hurts when I squeeze your nipples." By channelling her attention, it should intensify whatever stimulation you're giving her, and hopefully make her feel like you're inside her head.

    Does that help?
  3. Zepoll

    Zepoll New Member

    That actually is very good info. Thank you for the reply.

    I think you are right with Hector and good tips about "knowing whats in her head".
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    A big part of being a successful dominant is trusting yourself enough to be selfish, to demand the sub do what you want. It's hard to fully embrace. Periodically when I'm playing I think "He'll never let me do THAT!" But later I find out that the sub wanted THAT. Remember that many subs genuinely want the dom to do whatever the dom wants, even if the sub doesn't want it. In other words many subs want what they don't want. This makes no rational sense to non-subs, but its really foundational to many subs' desires and experiences. So the trick is to be selfish, but in ways that give the sub satisfaction. So don't be afraid to push her a little. Don't violate any rules or limits she's set, but within those rules, take what you want. In particular, I think the Client needs to be clearly selfish. He needs to seem uninterested in her as anything other than a tool to meet his pleasure needs.
  5. Zepoll

    Zepoll New Member

    I think you are spot on. At least in our situation you are. I've suggested a few things, and tried to probe a little bit as to what (if any) specifics she wants. And repeatedly she keep saying, "I trust you. I'm in your hands".

    Which makes it a little difficult because looking forward to our next date I'm getting very excited about what I have planned. And I want to share that with her so she can be excited too. But I think it will take something away to know about the details before hand, instead of experiencing them as they happen.

    Maybe you can help me with another item... Which I appreciate immensely by the way...

    I have three basic positions that I intend to put her through.

    1.) The Standard Basic Spread Eagle on the bed.

    2.) The LeapFrog. This is the only name I've found in my limited research. But on the knees, butt up, face down and hands tied together and through the legs.

    3.) I don't know what you call it. (It's pictured here, #4:

    But I'd have both the hands and feet tied to the crossbar. And no neck rope. At least not yet. We'd also be in a bed, so hands and feet will be tied to the headboard and not to a post.

    I like these because the seem pretty basic for beginners. No exotic knots, or overly awkward positions. She's an X gymnast so I've got her flexibility working for me as well. I've practiced my knots, have my safety kit and shears and I think we're pretty good to go.

    What I want is complete access/exposure. To play with all her parts and for her to feel totally exposed, vulnerable and helpless. Then I will torture her by bringing her to the point of cumming, then denying it. Or.. Make her cum repeatedly.

    Any suggestions, tips, or just general thoughts along those lines?

    She's always wanted a Lelo vibrator, so I bought her the one she wants. But she doesn't know it yet. She also doesn't know that I also bought the remote control egg one as well. I figure a vibrating egg in her ass, the G Spot vibrator inside her pussy and my tongue working her clit should put her skyrocketing over the edge. At least it would... until I stop it. :)

    I plan on letting her learn about these new toys as they're inserted into her with her blindfold on.

    I really appreciate your thoughts so far.
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2013
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Yeah, the neck rope in that pic is probably risky. If you're doing rope bondage, do you have a good book that explains bondage safety (like Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook)? Do you have a pair of EMT shears in case you need to get her out fast?
  7. Zepoll

    Zepoll New Member

    I don't have that book. But I have been reading up on safety and risks. And I did go and buy EMT shears. And tried them out on the rope that is going to be used and go through it easily.
  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    If you're going to do bondage on a semi-regular basis, I strongly recommend Wiseman's book (although it's not the only option). EMT shears will cut through a penny, so you're good.
  9. Zepoll

    Zepoll New Member

    Our date is on Tuesday... if I can get it before then, then I will. Otherwise I will definitely get it soon. The closer we get to the date, the more and more excited both of us are getting.
  10. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I hope you both have a lot of fun!
  11. Zepoll

    Zepoll New Member


    Wanted to tell you that everything went GREAT!! Tried finding that book in local stores before hand, but couldn't.

    Ended up skipping a lo of the role play stuff and just did "her and I".

    First time for both of us, and I think we're both hooked.

    I think I was a little conservative.. knots not super tight and maybe too much slack in some of the lines, but was still successfull. She could could move some when she squirmed, but not enough to escape. Still... more than I'd like. We talked afterward, and more than she'd like as well.

    Still, it was great. Lasted about 3 hours. About an hour per position.

    Now we're investing in leather and more toys.

    Thanks for the advice.
  12. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I'm glad it went so well. Being conservative the first few times is not a bad thing at all. New doms have a lot of things to get a handle on, and new subs have to get used to the new treatment. So take it as slowly as you feel is right. Knots don't have to be super-tight, especially if what you mean is that the ropes didn't constrict her aggressively--they shouldn't be extremely tight if they're crossing blood vessels (like in the wrist) or if they're putting pressure on joints.

    You can order Wiseman's book on Amazon pretty easily. It's not the only one, but it's a good first bdsm book.

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