MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Wow, ok, hope my response can fit here... gonna start from last post and read up toward MY last post.
If I miss anyhting, tell me please.
Most of you cannot tell nor would assume this, but I am well informed of the logistics, statistics, and reality that comes with being a human here on this planet! lol. I know not everyone is getting laid, my suite mate is a perfect example. My GF is a nympho(as am I) and we are in a polyamorous relationship, we fuck what we see, and fuck each other with another on occassion, and when it's just her and I, we fuck till the sun comes up... after it's set initially of course! I understand I'm young, still immature on some level, and understand that I can't always get what I want, I understand just about everything said, it's being able to deal with the emotional levels of both understanding and coping with these urges that I need to learn.
I wake up every morning, rub two out, I come back from class, get another, I come back from class two, eat, do some work, get another one out, I get back from final classes, and get another two out before bed. Masterbation is NOT foreign to me, it's very familiar, my current girlfriend is my first, she is older than me, was my first sexual partner, and we've been together for 2 and a half years now. Up to the point, I cybered, yes, starting at 13, creepy, I know, but it doesn't take much to pretend to be someone you're not, especially when you have an affinity for fiction writing, that, coped with knowledge of the female genetalia and my own groin region, I could pretend to be a girl or boy, and pretend to be any age at any time. I knew how to fake and lie my way through scenarios to get people to help me release. I know it's kinda creepy sounding, and makes all if not some of you speculate "Can we trust him now?" but really, if that were such a big deal, would I not be trying to keep that secret and not draw attention to it? At this point, anything I say can just be seen as a for of placation to the fictional idea of what my age really is. But it's whatever lol.
Moving on from this detour. I won't say as a fact I've read enough, but I'm writing my own BDSM novel(maybe series) based around S/M and Vampires. I have integrated the true aspects of submissive respect as well as dominatrix control via the power of the super natural. I might post it sometime. I have within bondage, power of word over the loyal submissive without mind control, submissive diligence to serve, and nice exploding bodies(mostly for non erotic use obviously). I've played a Master/Mistress or Submissive pet/slave/toy/slut/etc... since I was 15 online. I've experiemented (online) with the extremes: scat, watersports, body mod, foot fetish, 24/7 enslavement, 24/7 bondage, blood letting, torture, worship, mind control, hypnosis, brainwashing, and the like. Most of which I probably would not do in real life. I don't say these things to be "Oh I'm all badass I've done all this." I'm just saying it to prove a point; this is not just something that popped in my head when I turned 18, I've been implementing it and toying with it, experimenting with it, for years. This is not to say I know all I want to know, on the contrary, I want to know MORE, I want to know ALL there is to know and hope you all can help me come to this resolution.
I chose the sexuality of bisexual when I turned seventeen. I had my first experience of guy on guy only a few weeks ago, no penetration, just oral. Since then I've been with two other guys. If I am to be a slave/pet, I wanna be able to please in all ways, if I am to be a Master/Sir, I wanna be able to show my pet the pleasures of sight as well. This is also to reiterate that I'm young and searching for new experiences, I'm not here to be a know it all.
Sex doesn't always follow us, I know, but I'm coming from a place wher eI (for all intense and purposes) had 4 girls ready to play at any given time: my girlfriend, a good friend of mine I've known for years and has a sexual crush on me, a submissive who I would domme but wasn't interested in on a constant level, and a girl who just loved to have sex with me and my girlfriend. I know I'm not ugly, I know I can be smooth, I know I can get laid, I know a lot of things, but I can't explain why people have an aversion to simply talking with me, even people in my classes. I don't look at them like object for sex, least when I can help it, but I still come off as weird to them, I can see it in their eyes and in their facial features and the way they speak after I openly introduce myself and start asking them how their day is and what not. Maybe I'm not here with an issue, maybe I'm here for a pityparty? Is anyone getting that vibe? Tell me please.
sillylittlepet- Don't be sorry, we all have some free speech here, you're just silly, you're little, and you're a pet, but you still have a voice, and I'll respect that.
I don't see my girlfriend as a submissive-for-life kinda girl. She'll call me master on the phone or text every now and then when she's really horny, but to her I think it's more just a fetish, not something she could live with. She respects my desires though, and won't tell me I can't explore them, and I'd never wish to do the same to her. One thing I do want to include though is that I tend to try and dominate females who have issues in their life that on a subconcious level(during interactions, and later, on a concious level I analyze) I want to fix them, and I see dominating them being that way to get them to listen to me and obey becuase somehow I know all the quirks in life and how to fix them.(Sarcasm). I won't lie, my girlfriend has her quirks that I feel if I dominate her somehow, I can fix them for her, or help her cope with them, maybe that's why I wanna dominate her at all, maybe that's why I wanna dominate anyone at all. But what explains my submissive tendancies? Do I want some domme to come and fix all MY issues? Speculation anyone?
We are long distance right now while I'm in college, she graduates next year and wants to move up here and get us an apartment together, which I can't wait to do! Oh and my cybering skills are still here, I've (reportedly) made people cum off virgin posts(pre-sex posts) just off how descriptive I am and how sensual I can be. Again, these are from the other people, not self fabricated. Now I'm bragging, weird. Anywho; hope I can come to some conclusion from all of this, thank you all for your input, and hope to hear more soon.
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