help! what i'm ?????

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by radV, Sep 12, 2013.

  1. radV

    radV New Member

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    i'm female going on 31 just year I never had a boyfriend or dated and .I hav't had a real friend in years I know ppl online but other wise then that no one .I hate my self I feel like failed life . I live at my bads house and work at fastfood and my homophone and racest brother lives with us to he says is not but the shit that comes out of hes mouth makes me sick . he think gays are like child molesters and blacks are lazy. I don't see my self as a male but I love gay porn I love gay bdsm . see or thinking of a man and woman togather does't turn me not even if I tried thinking of my self with man . all so when guys try firt with me at work and etc I get upset . i feel like i'm wired when i watch porn i get turn on but i feel like i wish could just jerk off all so i never had sex with anyone but i played with my self i like anal over vaginal play i even put one my own fingers inside . vaginal is wet squashly while i find my anal is soft i love the burning feeling of being filled but not pain . i tried slaping my our ass but :confused:hand hurt more then my butt and was let down . i really don't have anyone can talk to about those things and just need a friends to lend a ear.
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  2. Forgotten angel

    Forgotten angel New Member

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    Ok, firstly, life is mostly a mind set. Its not about where you live, your job, or your friends. Its about trying to have as much fun and enjoying life as much as possible. You never "fail" at life. The closest you come to that is when you stop getting enjoyment out of every day, and you have to think positive to enjoy every day. Every day is just another chance to have fun. Even at work. And about your sexuality, it sounds like you like girls. We cant be completely sure because girl porn is just so much more beautiful than boy girl porn which tends to be sloppy and a bit savage lol but if you get turned on by girls, you might want to go try that. Theres nothing wrong with liking girls, and if it makes you happy then its something that youre SUPPOSED to do in life. Go online somewhere and try to meet a girl who can help you with the feelings that you seem to be afraid of. A girl who could be your gf. And as for your brother, everyone makes gay/racist slurs if your friends say that stuff. He can say what he doesnt believe if it makes his friends laugh. And alot of times if a sibling has a gay sibling its very eye opening to them and it makes them much more understanding and moral about the situation.

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