MIRROR: Download from MEGA
I'm not very good at short messages, but for the sake of data collection, I'll try.
1. At what age did you discover BDSM?
As early as six/seven years old, I was using things like sweaters and jumpers to try and tie myself up though I had no idea what any of it meant. It was only as I approached my mid-teens and I began to discover what bits of me really did that I discovered being restrained heightened the senses. This discovery made me investigate further and I discovered the acronym, BDSM.
2. Is BDSM a lifestyle or an activity?
Unfortunately, it is a rare activity in this household. I offered my wife full control, was willing to submit, to be restrained, to serve, but it was not what she wanted and therefore I had to let go of any hope it mihgt happen. It is now used as an occasional 'playtime' device.
3. What is your sexual orientation?
Hetero.
4. What is your BDSM orientation?
In the marriage that I have, I would take the submissive role. However, I'm certain that I have it in me to dominate to if I had someone who wanted to be dominated. Therefore, I guess you'd officially class me as a switch as it would depend largely upon who I was with.
5. At what age did you start to experiment with sexual activities?
As mentioned in Q1, it was in my mid-teens. I bought a pair of cheapy handcuffs from a joke shop and would put myself in them to masturbate. At seventeen, I acquired some chains and would chain myself to my bed until I could bear it no longer, let one hand loose and then relieve myself. Proper sexual activites with another person began when I was eighteen and we would use the chains and cuffs to intensify things.
6. Do you think that in later years you will have more or less BDSM activity?
Sadly, I can only see it decreasing. We're in the process of starting a family and that means that it would be inappropriate to put the child in a position where it might see or hear something. I predict that even the playtime aspect will dry out completely and I will have to go the rest of my life fighting the disapointment of not being allowed to have the restraint that I so depserately crave.
7. Do you feel that BDSM is anti-social?
No. I feel that the world is anti-social to BDSM. For some reason, 'normal-folk' consider BDSM people to be perverted, corrupt and whatever else. Whenever some nut job goes beserk and kidnaps or rapes a woman, newspapersd are quick to jump on the fact that he had a fetish for bondage (where applicable). I see it as no different to those who play golf. They spend thousands of pounds on hardware, buy special clothes to do it in and use it as a means of pleasure. Nobody frowns on golfers for being strange. People need to broaden their minds and not be so petty and judgemental.
8. What is the most common BDSM activity that you do?
Not that any of it is common in this house anymore but I'm lucky if three or four times a year, it is remembered that I like to be cuffed to the bed during sex.
Back in the few months when it was at least attempted to step it up to a lifestyle choice, it was regular use of wrist/ankle cuffs connected with chains as means of general restraint, occasional use of a straightjacket, and even more infrequent use of restraint hardpoints screwed into onw bedroom wall in the shape of a St Andrews cross.
9. Were you sexually or physically abused in your childhood?
Sexually no. However, I did spend eight years as a punchbag for someone until he finally went too far and ended up with a court injunction against him. From eleven onwards, though the abuse had ended, I found myself with low self esteem and that resulted in me being an ewasy target for bullies in secondary school. In adulthood, I have been prone to severe depression but have significantly improved in recent years.
10. Do you think BDSM is dangerous?
I think 21st century health and safety is to blame for a lot of the danger warnings. That's not to say it's all unwarranted. It all comes down to the person who's given control. If they keep a level head and try not to push boundaries, then all is well. If they get kicks out of watching others suffer and have little respect for human life, then there's a chance it will go horribly wrong.
Hope there's something there you can use.
S.
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