Half-way curious

Blue62 · Sep 19, 2009

Long story short, I roleplay online eneded up turning my character into a uber masochistic sex addict- in her case, no holds barred, spent time in the medical ward a couple of times. For the record, well beyond *anything* I would even consider in real life.

Learned a few things about myself but kinda curious as to how one can figure out sub or dom without doing anything- I'm firm in my celabacy and not about to break that anytime soon.

In general i'm thinking sub, kinda joked around with 'Brianan's' in character mistriss out of character (the person behind the character) but I know I have too much fight off the bat and I don't really like taking control of things.

That being said, I enjoy putting my characters through the ringer which says sadist to me, something that even slightly related to a dominant personality.

EZRA · Sep 19, 2009

Whats the question?

ReallyGreen · Sep 19, 2009

I like configuring Porsches on the website even tho' I can't afford one.

GreyMac · Sep 19, 2009

Blue62 said:
kinda curious as to how one can figure out sub or dom without doing anything- I'm firm in my celabacy.

Even though worded as a statement I think this was the question, Ezra.

The 'kinda' answer is:

BDSM is not always about sex. More often than not, it's about control. some want it, some get more peace andor satisfaction from surrendering it to another. Others find it in cyberspace and virtual/alternate realities.

It can also be a matter of degree. Light bondage and spanking of the 'naughty' to complete physical control over a submissive and all the shades of gray in between. there is also psycological gaming ranging from low-level 'mind-fucks' to total unquestioned authority over every aspect of a slave's life. Levels of pain, both mental and physical, can also vary widely both in willingness to inflict it or the ability to tolerate it.

So there you have it; a non-answer to your non-question.

bluelagoon1988 · Sep 19, 2009

I have noticed that I became very much aware of my desires simply from the porn I was drawn to, I used to enjoy rape/forced sex of a generic variety (if there is such a thing) but then I started watching things like the Training of O, or sex and submission, but even knowing that this turns me on....I wasn't really drawn to the markings or the pain of the women, it was the faceless men in complete control that I masturbated to. Seeing a strong hand on a hip, taking what he needs, etc. I have never gotten turned on by watching a woman in control. I dig their outfits but other than that it's a cold bucket of water on my arousal. So pay attention to what you wank to, there is several layers that will usually make you better aware of your real desires...

Master of puppies · Sep 20, 2009

bluelagoon1988 said:
........ there is several layers that will usually make you better aware of your real desires...

This is true, I find that I am always learning about myself, don't restrict yourself to
'I kind of like this, so this is what we are going to do' . . . experiment safely, and if it dosn't work out,
well, don't worry about it.
On that note, [and the masked stranger fetish] OLP and I have just gone up a level, *phew*
I'm sure she will share this, when she next visits us here.

Blue62 · Sep 22, 2009

mm....sort of helpful

didn 't word is well , but my question weas how I can figure out if I'm a sub or dom without doing much....I abuse my characters shamelessly and get off on that but I know i don't have the stomach to do any where near what hapens to a real person.

EZRA · Sep 22, 2009

Its funny I just sort of knew on some leval all my life but it was only when I came in to contact with the life style that I understood what it was and then only after many years did I finally act on my desires.

My feeling right now is you tend towards Dom, thats whats working for you thinking about doing it to others is fairly convincing for me.
You will find that being given permission and knowing your sub wants it is a freeing experiance and your reservations about it will fade.
I believe most Doms go through this ,feelings of guilt and shame about their desires.
but remember your sub is craving this treatment and feels closer to you when you open up and let them feed your desires.
Sex is usually involved but not necessary to the experiance.
On more than one occasion the Goddess has given me what I need without sex and I was happy with it. The transmutation of pain,attention, giving up of "self" and the aproval of your Dom are all fulfilling in their own right. Sex is usually the icing on the cake.
For Doms its different feelings, of control, power and the experiance of someone giving themselves fully to you I'm sure is also very fulfilling.

I think the only way to really know for sure is to experiance it especialy if your not sure ...............................or in denial of some kind of what you are.
It's easy for subs in this ,but I think it's hard to admit to your self that you "get off" on hurting people. Your reluctance is a good sign it means that your not into "really" hurting them.
and yes their is a difference. If you look around the board you'll start to understand it.
It's no contradiction to want to hurt someone and still love them (Thank god!)
I've never felt closer and felt more loved by my Goddess(also wife) than when we started to play.

Blue62 · Sep 23, 2009

My Subs are all fictional characters which I know for a fact make me more aggresive in what happenes to them- worked with a dominant character and the person controlling the other said they hoped I wasn 't like that in real life. I'm far from an aggressive or controlling personality , usually avoid positions of power out of distaste.

PuppyPuppyPuppy · Sep 24, 2009

EZRA said:
The transmutation of pain,attention, giving up of "self" and the aproval of your Dom are all fulfilling in their own right. Sex is usually the icing on the cake.

So sexy and so true! There have been plenty of times Master has used me without even touching me and I left the experience still feeling fulfilled. Pleasing my Master is what I find most important. Whether I'm doing his laundry or being led around on my leash my desires are the same: to please my Master and make his life easier.

Half-way curious

Blue62

New Member

EZRA

Member

ReallyGreen

Member

GreyMac

Member

bluelagoon1988

Member

Master of puppies

Member

Blue62

New Member

EZRA

Member

Blue62

New Member

PuppyPuppyPuppy

Member

Similar threads