"Hairy Peter & The Secret Chamberpot"

Discussion in 'Stories' started by Susan Strict, Jan 26, 2009.

  1. Susan Strict

    Susan Strict Member

    "Hairy Peter & The Secret Chamberpot" is a Femdom parody - a sequel to the longer novel "Hairy Peter & The Gallstone". You might need a sense of humour as well as a love for Femdom !!

    In this extract, Peter is studying at the University of Fessewarts for witches and wizards - and, of course, the curriculum is primarily concerned with sexual fetishes and the proper subservient place of wizards to serve witches. Naturally, it's not quite that simple...
    One of the major subjects all witches and wizards must study is "Vanilla Avoidance":


    "Tell me what you know about Vanilla Avoidance,†demanded Professor Twist.

    "Um...," stuttered Peter. "It's... well, it's avoiding vanilla things."

    "Why?" demanded Professor Twist, her spell crop still aimed directly at Peter's face.

    "Because... because... um, I don't know," admitted Peter.

    "I don't suppose you would," said Professor Twist sarcastically. "That's exactly what I expected from you, Mr Petter."

    Slightly surprised that the professor already knew his name, Peter did his best.

    "Is it something to do with sex?" he asked tentatively.

    "No! No, no and many times no," Professor Twist shouted at him. "It is never something to do with sex. What is this sex to which you refer, Mr Petter? Thrusting your nasty little bits into some female perhaps? Come out here, Mr Petter. I will demonstrate."

    Much startled and not at all pleased at being singled out, Peter obeyed.

    "Face the class, Mr Petter," ordered the professor, "And then remove your robes and your undergarments."

    Peter tried to object, but one look from Professor Twist was enough to convince him that she would not put up with any argument. Reluctantly he removed his clothes.

    "Now," said Professor Twist, pointing at Peter's genitals with the end of her spell crop. "What do we have here?"

    The question was directed at the assembled students. There was some laughter, and many of the girls giggled.

    "It's a cock, professor," called Violet Shaw.

    "Don't shout out," the professor reprimanded her. "Yes, it's a cock, a penis, a willy, a dick. It has many names. Under it are his bollocks, his balls, his testicles, and again they have many names. And what use is all this paraphernalia?"

    "I think they all know what it's used for," Peter pointed out.

    "Speak when you're spoken to," admonished the professor. "I am asking the other students."

    "Fucking," suggested Violet, amid much laughter.

    "QUIET!" shouted Professor Twist. "Wrong. Completely wrong. We really do have much to learn, don't we? Miss... Shaw, isn't it? That is the vanilla answer, and as you well know these lectures are to teach you Vanilla Avoidance. I have no doubt that Mr Petter would be only to pleased to use this execrable appendage precisely as you so colourfully describe the moment you are flat on your back, Miss Shaw, and the pair of you would be guilty of the most serious crime against our whole society. No doubt you have already done this with Mr Petter here in your ignorance. He, however, should know better. It is his duty to know better. He is, without a doubt, an accomplished wizard. We hear rumours of his prowess in wizardry, and as such he must take the responsibility that goes with it."

    Herniame raised her hand. "If it's not for... erm... fucking as Violet said, what is it for?"

    Professor Twist reached down in front of Peter and grasped his testicles in one hand. She squeezed hard, and at the same time she brought down the spell crop with considerable force on the end of his penis. Peter yelled in pain.

    As soon as Peter's cries had died away, Professor Twist said, "It's for pain and for control, of course. There may be other parts of the male body that are more sensitive, and I'm sure you will learn more of this in Professor Scrape's Safe Sadism lectures, but nothing, nothing at all, is so effective for applying control, for administering punishment, for instilling fear and obedience into a male as these unpleasant little parts of his anatomy. Are there any questions?"

    Herniame raised her hand again. "I don't understand," she said. "What does that have to do with Vanilla Avoidance?"

    There was a general rumble of agreement from the students. Most of them were unable to see what Professor Twist meant or, in fact, why she had just done what she did to Peter.

    "Put on your clothes," the professor instructed Peter, "And return to your seat."

    Professor Twist waited until Peter was seated. "Our society," she began, "Has its basis in long and honoured traditions. As most of you will be aware, we differ from non-magical people not simply by our magical abilities. Those are of little importance, and will vary from witch to witch and from wizard to wizard. We are different because almost without exception our desire and our capacity for physical gratification is many, many times more powerful than those others who are neither witches nor wizards and, more importantly, we are not vanilla.
    What does this mean? Some of you will be asking that question, although I can see from your faces that many of you are already beginning to understand. It means that being vanilla is not and can never be enough. If we allow ourselves to slip into the lazy, comfortable ways of those who will never be able to call themselves witches and wizards, then our society will simply cease to exist. We will be no different from the others and with that, no doubt, our magical powers will also disappear. They are inextricably linked. They are at the root of the elemental forces on which this castle, Fessewarts Castle, was built by the Mistress of Mooning. She understood them and used them. She controlled them, and if it were not for her unfortunate excesses that wiped out so very many young wizards, there would have been no need to overthrow her rule at Fessewarts.
    Be that as it may, the basis of our society is clear. It is based on dominance, on pain, on control, on bondage and on everything that goes with and comes from such worthy principles. Above all, it is based on physical extremes, and never, never on the mediocrity of vanilla sex and vanilla relationships. Within all of this, of course, we have the one principle that the dominance and the control in these matters should be, almost exclusive, female. Do not misunderstand this. We are not a matriarchal society. We do not believe that everything is decided and ruled by women. Our First Minister is a man. The Chancellor of this University is a man. Nearly all of the phylaxes who keep our society safe from those who might destroy it through malice and from those who would destroy it because they do not understand it, are male. There are many, many areas of our society where males have taken their place alongside and, indeed, in charge of women. This is right and proper. The one area where women must remain completely in control is in physical relationships. Our place is on top, and always will be. To allow anything less is a betrayal of our society, as is any physical act between two or more people that does not take whatever is possible to its furthest limits and beyond. We should, we must, strive for the perfection of control, of pain, of the extreme. The very pillars of our society are built on such actions, and once they are weakened by descent into the vanilla then they will crumble and fall, taking us down with them into the abyss of the feeble, the weak and the insignificant world from which we true witches and wizards have risen."

    Professor Twist stopped speaking. She was panting and shaking with emotion.

    "Wow," said Don under his breath. "Crumbs."

    Herniame, sitting on the other side of Don, was nodding approvingly. Peter, however, was shaking his head in disagreement. He stopped rapidly, as soon as he noticed Professor Twist looking at him.

    "You disagree with me, Mr Petter?" she asked, her voice high and sharp.

    "Yes, Professor, I do," said Peter, much to the amazement of the other students. "I think there is more to relationships than domination and excesses."

    "Shut up, Peter!" whispered Don.

    Peter ignored him.
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  2. Susan Strict

    Susan Strict Member

    "So, Mr Petter," said Professor Twist icily, "As you are so knowledgeable on the subject, perhaps you would like to take these lectures instead of me?"

    "No thanks," Peter told her calmly. "You asked me if I disagreed, and I told you. I wouldn't dream of questioning your expertise and experience any more than I would lie to you when you ask me a direct question."

    "Not at all, Mr Petter," insisted Professor Twist, her tone still icy, "We all want to hear what you have to say. It will be an education for everyone to listen to the words of the great Peter Petter. Perhaps, too, we should take another look at the clump of green hair just to the right of your genitals shaped exactly like a peacock?"

    "It's not necessary, Professor," said Peter politely, now beginning to become worried that he was getting much deeper into this than he had intended. "I don't have anything to say."

    "Oh but you do," Professor Twist persevered. "It will be a perfect opportunity to hear some of the misconceptions of youth and to correct them. Our students will learn a lot, and I think we can also make use of this occasion to demonstrate how effective control and pain can be as a learning tool. Come out here, Mr Petter. Right now."

    Reluctantly, Peter left his seat once more.

    "Face the students, Mr Petter," said Professor Twist. "Remove your robes."

    Peter was going to refuse, but before he uttered a word Professor Twist pointed her spell crop at him. With a flick of her wrist all his clothes flew from him and folded themselves neatly on a chair in the corner of the chamber.

    "I think," said the professor, "We will make this a question and answer session. To allow you to spout your subversive drivel unguided would be intensely boring for all of us. Feel free, of course, to expand on your answers, Mr Petter. The more you have to say, the more I shall be able to put right and the more we shall all learn. Naturally we do not want this to become a vanilla discussion, and you will all be delighted to know that I have anticipated a situation such as this and prepared for it."

    She waved her spell crop again. A large door opened behind her, and she stepped to one side as a tall wooden contraption slid smoothly into the chamber, coming to a halt just behind Peter.

    "You will note," said Professor Twist, indicating the various parts of the apparatus with her spell crop as she spoke, "That this device is ideal for restraining a subject when you wish to give attention to various parts of his body without being interrupted. It is a simple cross, known as a St Andrew's Cross, angled with the two lower supports of the cross resting on the base rather than just the single support a conventional cross would have. This allows our subject's legs to be restrained apart, which is highly desirable when one wishes access to the genitalia. Additionally, we have a vertical strut to enable us to secure his head and to minimise his movements."

    "You're not attaching me to that," said Peter vehemently.

    "My dear young man," exclaimed Professor Twist. "I wasn't giving you a choice. Of course you will be attached to it."

    She waved her spell crop again, and Peter found himself pushed backwards until he was standing on the wooden base of the apparatus. His legs were forced apart, and strong leather straps buckled securely around his ankles and his thighs. His arms were forced up at an angle, and similar straps attached around his wrists and just above his elbows. A further strap went around his neck and one around his forehead, pulling his head back against the upright strut.

    "I do like this device," said the professor with unmistakeable enthusiasm. "Please note, everyone, how our subject is completely helpless and yet completely exposed. There is not the slightest possibility that anything we do to him now could be mistaken as being vanilla and, more excitingly, we can, if we wish, satisfy all the desires we have for causing pain and suffering without the slightest possibility that he can move away or prevent anything we want to do. As I am sure you all know from your Basic Safety lectures last term when undoubtedly you were restrained on a bed at some point, no wizard or witch can cast any sort of incantation once his or her arms are held apart and above the head in this way. We can now do whatever we wish with our Mr Petter. What shall we do with him?"

    "He was going to tell us about there being more to relationships than dominance and excesses," pointed out Herniame.

    "Of course he was," Professor Twist agreed. "We mustn't become distracted, must we? Let us all focus on the reasons we are here, difficult as that might be when we have such an excellent opportunity to enjoy ourselves. Perhaps you, Miss Grimwaite, might like to assist me? Ah, no, I think not. You were involved in Peter's little adventure last term, were you not? We'll have someone who is less likely to be thinking vanilla thoughts. Let me see... yes. Is Miss Wei here? Good. Come here, please, Miss Wei."

    Wong Wei walked to the front of the room, attracting the gaze of nearly all the men and a large number of the girls as usual. The professor handed her a long plastic tube.

    "Before we begin, Miss Wei," said Professor Twist, "I wonder if you would be kind enough to start by arousing Mr Petter? I know it's not really your particular preference, but it would be so helpful for a little demonstration before we begin properly. As everyone can see, Mr Petter's subversive vanilla character has completely failed to comprehend the true beauty of his situation, so a little assistance from you to make him rise to the occasion would be appreciated."

    Wong Wei nodded, her face expressionless. She approached Peter, and as much as he tried to prevent it, he felt the start of the inevitable stiffening. Wong Wei must have been able to see it too and must have known that she needed to do nothing more than to stand close to him, but without the slightest hesitation or sign of embarrassment she slipped off her robes and let them drop to the floor. She wore nothing at all underneath them.

    There was considerable movement from the watching students; much fidgeting and adjusting of clothing.

    "Stop it!" Herniame whispered to Don as he seemed to be having great difficulty with some sort of tangle in the lower part of his robes. "After what she did to you last term? You can't still find her exciting."

    "Mind your own business," said Don stuffily. "Never mind what she did to me last term. Just think about what she did to you in the holidays."

    Evidently Herniame did think about it. She sat bolt upright, a strange expression on her face. She pressed her legs together firmly, shivering slightly.

    "Oh bother," she murmured. "Oh no."

    "What?" demanded Don in a whisper.

    "Nothing," Herniame whispered back.

    "Tell me," Don insisted.

    "Nothing," whispered Herniame again.

    "It's not nothing," said Don.

    "I think I've just wet myself," whispered Herniame miserably.

    Don nearly laughed. "I haven't pissed myself since I was three," he whispered.

    "I didn't piss myself," said Herniame indignantly. "I... never mind. Nothing."

    The conversation between Herniame and Don was brought to a halt by what was happening in front of them.

    "Now that," said Professor Twist, tapping the end of Peter's erection lightly with her spell crop, "Is a completely vanilla reaction. You notice that it was produced only by the sight of your body and not by his present position? Miss Wei, please get rid of it. Apply the plastic tube you are holding. A light touch should do it nicely."

    The professor stepped back. Wong Wei held out the tube towards Peter. As it came close to touching him, a stream of blue sparks flew from the end of it, enveloping Peter's genitals in a shimmering blue fire. Peter screamed in pain. His erection subsided.

    "Excellent," said Professor Twist. "And now, Mr Petter, I shall ask you a few questions about the true meaning of relationships, physical and otherwise. Miss Wei, please stand by with the tube, and when I indicate that Mr Petter has given an incorrect and subversive answer you may apply it immediately. If he persists in being deliberately difficult, then you may press it firmly onto him. You will find that the end of the tube will open and it will engulf his genitals completely before it tightens and locks onto him for a few minutes. He may do well to remember that. The rest of us may find it highly exciting to observe, but I understand that for the subject of this particular punishment it really is one of the most painful experiences possible. Are you ready, Miss Wei?"

    Wong Wei nodded, and for the first time that Peter had ever seen any expression at all on her face, she smiled...

  3. Master C

    Master C Member

    More please. I want to know why she smiled
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  4. Susan Strict

    Susan Strict Member

    She smiles, because (of course) Wong Wei is a sadist and LOVES to cause pain.

    Oh, all right. Have a bit more of the story. (You could always buy the whole book if you like it that much!!)


    "Are you all right, Peter?" Herniame asked anxiously after the Vanilla Avoidance lecture was over.

    "Why shouldn't I be?" Peter replied, without even turning his head to look at her..

    "It looked rather painful," said Herniame sympathetically.

    "That's what we're supposed to have, isn't it?" said Peter. "Pain. We're supposed to enjoy it."

    "It's not like that, and you know it," Herniame told him.

    "It is, and you know it," Peter replied. "There's nothing you like more, is there? Why don't you go and ask her for some? You said you wanted to try everything. I'm sure Wong Wei would be only too pleased to take that thing with its sparks and its electric shocks and all, and stick it right up your..."

    "PETER!" Herniame interrupted him. "It's not like that; really it's not. Professor Twist has got it wrong. There's much more to it than just pain."

    "If you say so." Peter shrugged. "I can't argue about it now. I have an appointment. I'm off."

    "Peter! Where are you going? It's lunchtime."

    Peter was already halfway down the passage. "Talk later, if you want," he promised, and disappeared round the corner.

    There were no lectures for Herniame that afternoon, or for Don or Peter. As Peter did not turn up in the main hall for lunch, Herniame decided to wait for him in the Grindonner Common Room. He was bound to turn up there sooner or later. She rushed to the library first, correctly guessing that it might be a long wait before Peter appeared, and knowing very well that the only books on the shelves in the Common Room were likely to be shoddy paperback fiction some students had brought with them and then discarded. A more serious volume like The History of Bondage Spells and Incantations she managed to find after a very quick search of the library, was much more to her liking.

    Peter did not turn up until nearly five o'clock, and when he did his mood had clearly not changed. He did not even acknowledge Herniame when he came into the Common Room, although he could not have missed seeing her sitting in the armchair by the door.

    "Could we talk a bit, please?" asked Herniame. "I wanted to apologise for being so bad tempered yesterday when Don was going on about Wong Wei."

    "Not now," Peter told her. "I'm going to get an hour's sleep and then it will be time for dinner. I'm starving."

    "After dinner?" Herniame suggested.

    "Sorry," said Peter, not sounding sorry at all. "Professor Twist wants me to go up to her chamber at seven. I don't know how long it's going to take. I might be gone for a while."

    "But where have you been all afternoon?" asked Herniame.

    "Personal stuff," said Peter shortly.

    "And why does Professor Twist want you this evening?"

    "I have no idea," said Peter. "I expect she wants to try and correct some of my subversive views. She seems to like doing that."

    "Peter! You can't let her..." Herniame never finished what she was going to say. Peter was already on the stairs up to the male dormitory, and Herniame did not see him either at dinner or afterwards. At eight o'clock, seriously worried about what Professor Twist might be doing with him, Herniame made her way towards the professor's chamber. Hesitantly, she knocked on the door.

    There was no answer.

    Herniame knocked again, harder this time. Still there was no answer. Finally she banged on the door with both fists. It opened.

    It was a very large room, with a desk and a chair against one wall. Otherwise, it was empty except for a particularly large, high bed on the far side of it, and on that bed there was something moving. It was a couple of minutes before Herniame realised what she was seeing. It definitely moved. In fact, it moved quite vigorously. From the doorway where Herniame stood, it appeared to be a strange, four legged creature struggling to rise from the bed and being violently and repeatedly pulled back onto it. As it struggled, it made a strange noise that grew louder and louder as its struggles became faster and faster until finally the creature screamed and yelled at the same time. It was only then, as Herniame recognised the part of the creature's voice that was doing the yelling rather than the part doing the screaming, that she worked it out.

    "Peter! What the hell are you doing?"


    Peter rolled to one side and stared defiantly at Herniame.

    "Fucking," he said again. "Good, solid, old fashioned, vanilla fucking, if it's got anything to do with you. Do you want to watch?"

    "But who...? Oh."

    "Who did you expect in my chamber other than me, Miss Grimwaite?" enquired Professor Twist.

    "I sorry," stuttered Herniame, completely at a loss. "I didn't expect... I mean I never thought that... And like that!"

    "You will learn, Miss Grimwaite," Professor Twist said, still lying on her back, her voice stern and a little breathless, "That there are times when it pays to know one's enemy. In my job, and I do not only mean as a professor at this University, I must recognise the vanilla so that I know its attractions for the weak and feeble of character, and I can teach them to guard against it. I have learned what I needed to know, and for that I must thank Mr Petter. His assistance in the arduous task of making the beast with two backs has been extremely valuable."

    Peter looked blank.

    "Shakespeare, Mr Petter," said Professor Twist. "I really don't know how such ignorance exists among the youth of today."

    Herniame shook her head. "Actually, Professor," she said. "It's much earlier than Shakespeare. 'The beast with two backs' is a phrase that appears in François Rabelais' writing, and he wrote it before William Shakespeare was born although admittedly Rabelais was writing in French and not English. It's probably even earlier than that. Erotic writing is nothing new, you know."

    Professor Twist sat up. "Professor Scrape warned me you are far too clever for your own good, Miss Grimwaite."

    "Thank you, professor," said Herniame. "I think I should take that as a compliment."
  5. Susan Strict

    Susan Strict Member

    "Take it as you like," the professor told her. "Now, I would be grateful if you would punish Mr Petter for his vanilla tendencies. I'm really rather tired. I will tie him to the bed for you, and you can sit on his face for a while. If you would make certain he ends up bruised and aching, and ensure that you smother him at least enough to make him panic that he is going to lose consciousness, then that will suffice for the moment."

    "I don't want to sit on Peter right now," said Herniame decidedly.

    "And I don't want you to sit on me," said Peter jumping up from the bed and grabbing his robes. "I'm not going to be sat on, and that's all there is to it. I have a meeting arranged in less than two hours, and I want a shower and a bit of a rest first."

    "Peter, it's after eight o'clock now. You can't possibly have anything arranged for ten o'clock at night," objected Herniame.

    "You need to be punished and corrected for your subversive tendencies," said Professor Twist firmly.

    "Look, Professor," said Peter equally firmly. "With all due respect, you don't have to pretend. I'm not going to say anything. Herniame is not going to say anything either, are you Herniame? You wanted a shag, Professor, and you got one. My guess is that it's the best shag you've ever had, so stop going on about my subversive tendencies. No one else will ever know anything about it, and we will all be a lot happier. All right?"

    "You can't speak to me like that," blustered the professor.

    "He just did," said Herniame, as surprised at Peter as was the professor.

    Peter adjusted his robes. "Just let me know when you want another one, Professor," he said calmly. "It will be a pleasure to oblige. I don't suppose I ought to say it, but you are by far the best screw I've had since I've been at Fessewarts. In fact, I think you are the best screw I've ever had. If everyone shagged like that then the world would be a much better place."

    With that, he left. Both Herniame and Professor Twist stared after him open-mouthed.

    "Is he always like that?" asked Professor Twist weakly.

    Herniame shook her head. "He's never like that," she said, a worried expression on her face. "I really don't know what's got into him."

    "Or who he's got into," added the Professor. "Joke. Sorry. I don't know what's come over me either. This is madness. It's my job to stop things like this happening to witches and wizards, not to encourage them and to take part in it."

    "I wonder who he's meeting at ten," said Herniame.

    "A female," said Professor Twist. "It's quite definitely a female, and it will be a female who wants to try a bit of vanilla sex. I recognise the symptoms. I've seen them once before, about twenty-five years ago. Yes, Miss Grimwaite, I'm older than I look. My guess would be that Mr Petter will also have another meeting arranged for around midnight, and maybe another after that. He won't stop until someone stops him or until he runs out of females who are prepared to let him do it."

    "You were prepared to let him do it," pointed out Herniame.

    "That's what worries me the most," admitted Professor Twist. "Your Peter has something about him that makes him... well... difficult to resist. I felt it the moment I made him take off his robes in my lecture. You must have a lot of trouble with him."

    "I don't have any trouble with him," said Herniame. "Not that sort of trouble, anyway. And he's not my Peter. If you think it's a problem, what are you going to do about it? Get him in here and punish him like you made Wong Wei do to him today?"

    "No," said the professor, now looking very concerned. "That won't work. If I bring him in here again all that will happen is..."

    "The same as happened tonight," Herniame finished the sentence for her. "So what will you do?"

    "I don't know," said Professor Twist hopelessly. "I think I'll discuss it with the Chancellor. Oh dear, that is going to be so difficult. I'm afraid that Chancellor Fumblebum and I really don't see eye to eye. It was the Ministry that appointed me here, you know."

    "I don't think I'm the right person to be telling about this," Herniame pointed out.

    There was a silence, and then Professor Twist stood up tall and straight by the side of the bed, an imposing figure even without her clothes.

    "You are correct, Miss Grimwaite," she said stiffly. "You may return to your Common Room. I shall deal with this matter, of course. There is no need for you to concern yourself further."

    "Right, Professor," agreed Herniame. "I'll leave it to you. Thank you."

    "You may go, Miss Grimwaite."

    Herniame went, but stopped as she was going through the door.

    "Professor?" she said.

    "Yes, Miss Grimwaite?"

    "Was Peter really that good?" Herniame asked, not expecting a straight answer.

    "Oh yes, Miss Grimwaite," came the unexpected reply.

    "Right. Thank you."

    Herniame left, and as she walked up the corridor she was sure it must have been her ears playing tricks on her, or perhaps it was a distorted echo from the stone floor and walls. She would have sworn she heard Professor Twist add the words, "Fucking wonderful."
  6. Master C

    Master C Member

    Thank you for the additional chapter. It was exciting. The only reason I haven't purchased these books, this place is too small for a shop that would sell things like that.

    I don't travel much, so it is nice to have a live in sub.
  7. Susan Strict

    Susan Strict Member

    If you REALLY like it, it's available as an eBook, as are all my books and the books I edit and publish for other authors.

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