Gotta love life's little surprises

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Mistress_Andrea, Jan 25, 2010.


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    I've said before on here that my husband is my slave and our Mistress/slave relationship is 24/7. Where our families are concerned, I am his wife, he is my husband.. they don't know anymore than that.. nor do they need to, but there are rules/practices in place for those situations that my slave adheres to to the letter. Nothing anyone would really notice UNLESS you're into BDSM. So my SIL (my slave's brother's wife) calls me this morning and tells me she needs to ask me something, but it's very personal. Then she just blurts out.. "Do you know about BDSM?" Lets just say there was silence after that for a minute LOL..not a question you get asked often. I just said Yes and she goes on and says that she thought so and asked me if Brian was submissive to me. I ask her why she would think that and she tells me that the last time we were all together at my MILs that she noticed he didn't do anything without looking to me out of the corner of his eye and waited for my reaction, noticed that one word in particular stopped him cold no matter what he was doing, and she also noticed that he always sat at my feet on the floor instead of in a chair (you may think this is an obvious give away, but there are never enough chairs for everyone when everyone is together so someone always ends up on the floor.. its just always him ;) ). She tells me she thinks he is submissive 24/7 because of the things she saw at my MILs. So I ask her why she's asking me these things and she tells me that my BIL has been submissive to her and that they are wanting to make it a 24/7 Mistress/slave relationship but are looking for advice on how to make it work. I can't say I'm 100% shocked because when I first met my BIL 6 years ago I told my slave I thought his brother was submissive and my slave thought if anything his brother would be a dom. Now my SIL wants to bring my BIL and come for a visit next week so we can show them how to make it work 24/7 and what all is involved. I agreed they could come and now must break the news of who/what my BIL is to my slave preferably BEFORE he comes home from work to find his brother kneeling in the living room LOL My slave has always been EXTREMELY protective of his brother, so I'm not really sure how well he's going to take knowing his brother gets whipped, disciplined, and humiliated on a daily basis. Any ideas on how to break it to him gently would be much appreciated.
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Wow. I can't speak directly to the BDSM elements of this situation, but I can say that sexual stuff often runs in families. When I came out to my mother as gay, she came out to me as a lesbian, and a little later one of my brothers admitted he was bi. In my mom's case, I wasn't surprised at all; it had just never occurred to me. My honest to God first reaction to it was "Oh. So that's who Lois is. She's not just a friend you travel with." So your slave might not be too surprised to hear that his brother has the same instincts and urges he has; after all they probably learned them in the same family environment. So once he wraps his head around it, he might find that it makes sense. And it might actually come as a small relief--now he can be honest to someone in his family about who he really is. Good luck and please let us know how it turns out.
  3. EZRA

    EZRA Member

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    Your a kind and loving Mistress to be concerned with how your slave will handle this news.

    Of course as with everything, communication is very important.
    What my Mistress dose when she has to tell me somthing I might not like is basically build a little suspense first.
    She will act as if it might be the worst thing in the world, so when I'm good and nervous she will just tell what it is and because it's never as bad as I think it's going to be the first thing I feel is relief.
    After that I usually handle the information pretty well.
    I think this will come as no shock to him however, and well, I would be happy for my sibling to have found a Dominate partner.
    He will want to know, and it will be important to him to know if his brother is happy and getting his needs met.
    You may also have to remind him his bother is a grown boy and can make his own decisions so he needs to deal with it and accept it.
    I have found that when Mistress basically orders me to accept something or get over myself that at first I will be a tad resentful but quickly realize that she is right and so it's becomes easier for me to deal with than if I had to do it on my own.

    I might also add that haveing someone close to you in the same "lifestyle" could be a wonderfull opportunity to build a good close family bond. with support for everyone involved.
    I really have a hard time seeing any down side to this, I think it would be wonderfull to discover that Mistresses sister was also a Doma and her husband a sub.
  4. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

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    Oh God, compiling the sexual peccadilloes of any entire family? I can't imagine why I didn't do this before. With naming any names the currently living include:

    2 closeted gay men (Managing only to fool themselves)
    Former prostitute
    2 current prostitutes (1 '"part time" "escort" and a web model)
    7 openly bisexual women
    1 pre-op F2M transgender
    3 openly gay men
    2 habitual 'Johns'
    3 openly into some type of BDSM or D/s
    1 Had her entire ARMY squad (12 men) DNA tested for paternity. And it was none of them. (Yes the ARMY will fire you for being a whore)

    And thats just the stuff I hear about. I only talk to some of these people twice a year for Thanksgiving/Christmas.
  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Good lord. You could get a whole reality series from your family. I can appreciate that. My ex's family are sort of upscale white trash. When company came over, they broke out the good plastic cutlery. He has two cousins in their early 30s who are both on third husbands, and his three aunts take turns stealing each other's husbands and boyfriends. And most of them are raging alcoholics (one of his uncles was once found passed out with a BAC of .4). Sadly, only two of them had any interesting sexual quirks.
  6. master jey

    master jey Moderator

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    i agree with you my friend my brother and causin are both into bdsm and we have great open minded relationship we understand each other just perfect

    ok beck to topick mistress andrea don't make it a surprice for him we males often react like fools
    have an afternoon talk with him when he'll come from the work he'll be tired and will take it how it is (example is me never have enaugh energy to start a fight after work) and ask for he's permission
    but i still think he'll be glad bout he's brother (i told bout my relationship to my brother first,thought he would overreact and put a fight with me but he told me thet he's for years into this relationship he was glad bout me i was glad bout him)
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2010

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    I wouldn't exactly say there's a down side to this... I do think this could be a good thing all around. My BIL and SIL are the only 2 people in my slave's family that I can stand to be around.. the rest I tolerate.. My slave's sisters and his mother are VERY judgemental, and I know my slave worries they will find out who he is and will shun him (and they would without a doubt). I said he was very protective of his brother.. now he's going to worry about this even more. I talked to my SIL again and she's planning on staying here for the week (they live 9 hours away from us) and in that time wants to see how we make 24/7 work with kids in the house, but she also wants me to teach her a few different ways to dicipline and she said she has problems using chains/rope to tie him down where he can't get out... in short, the time that they are here is going to be very hands on and my slave's brother will definately be serving alongside my slave. This is where I think my slave is going to have issues... seeing his brother whipped, chained and having his brother see the same done to him. He will get used to it of course as he doesn't have a choice, and I do think eventually he'll enjoy the benefits of having someone he's close to fully understand and accept him, I just think this initial period is going to be hard on him. But I've spoken to both my SIL and BIL and told them that I feel it would be best if my BIL is the one to tell him. Tonight after my slave comes home from work, I'm going to have him kneel at my feet, call his brother, and order him to be silent and listen while his brother talks.. I figure this way I'm right there should I need to step in and if he's getting it straight from his brother, any questions my slave has he can ask his brother directly.
  8. EZRA

    EZRA Member

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    I think thats an excellent Idea! Mistress Andrea.
    Should have thought of it my self.:)
    Having his brother tell him is the best way.

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    How does your BIL feel about all this?

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    He's nervous about how his brother is going to take it. I said their family is very judgemental and even though my BIL knows we're involved in all this, I think he's still nervous that my slave won't approve of him being involved. He doesn't really want to be the first one to break it to my slave, but I do think it would be best coming from him. As far as coming here and seeing what goes on with his brother and having his brother see him in a similar situation, my BIL said it wouldn't be easy but if his brother wasn't upset at him for all this that he'll be alright.
  11. master jey

    master jey Moderator

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    tell us how things will go :)
  12. EZRA

    EZRA Member

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    I agree it will be best coming from his brother.
    Your slave might need reminding that he enjoys this life,so why shouldn't his brother also enjoy it?
    The fact that they are so nervuse and afraid of how the other will take it is a sad commentary about thier family dynamic.
    I think even if it's a little rocky at first the in the end it will be good for them.
    May be a little warming up first might be in order.
    I don't know how social you and your slave are or how much contact you may have with others in the "scene" but talking about the benefits of haveing another sub, who lives the same way to talk with and comiserate with might start him thinking along the lines of the benefits.You might also approach him with the idea of him helping to guide his brother,being there for him when difficulties arise, and passing on of knowledge gained. This way he can still be protective and supportive. Still occupying the same roll only even more so.
    After you might also point out how this can bring them closer together as brothers.

    A side benefit for you will be a "distancing" from the "intolerant parents".
    And should the "lifestyle" come to light the parents will find themselves having to alienate both instead of one which will force them to look at themselves more closely. For what ever that is worth.

    After I found BDSM I started to look at the relationships of my grandparents and parents and found the dynamics of BDSM at work in thier relationships.It was an eye opening experiance.
  13. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

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    I never understood parental intolerance. As long as the children are healthy, happy, and out of prison I can't think of much to be intolerant of. (OK, I'd probably be upset if they joined a wacko religious group, but I doubt I'd 'disown' them either.)
  14. master jey

    master jey Moderator

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    i wouldn't be upset even if they joined ku klux klan...(little lies :) )
    children should have their own way in life i'm like this cuz my parent's couldn't understand and same won't go to my children

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    Mistress Andrea - I am curious as to if your slave talked with his brother and how it went.

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