good places for info on the psychology of dominance

fierdancer · Jul 23, 2008

Hi everyone, Im a sub female relatively new to the scene. My master is even newer but very eager to learn and try out my ideas that we discuss before any session. He has also had some pretty damn good ideas from books that he tried out on me too but its a bit repetitive. The one thing that seems to be lacking is the finding out more info on the psychology of being a dom male. I mean, who trains the dom ; ) Im looking for sites or resources that would be helpful for this and other stuff like verbalization, setting the dominant tone, training subs etc. Im also looking to just network too, theres a "dungeon" of sorts in my neighborhood but i just dont have the guts to go to it quite yet so I dont have any bdsm friends, any thougts??

fierdancer · Jul 25, 2008

so.. lots of voyeurs but no ideas out there?

licker4450 · Jul 30, 2008

That is a tough answer fierdancer. The number of Dom versus subs is minimal in comparison. The best way is for your Dom to interact with other Doms. However, many of us did not have that advantag.

My story is that I was trained by a sub; actually she was a slave since she was into the M/s scene. She was wonderful at teaching me about the psychological aspect of things. For that reason, my method of control is psychological as opposed to physical.

If you want a bit of help, pm me with any questions that you might have. Being new here,I hesitate to offer suggestions of different resources without knowing the specific rules.

Sean'sMistress · Apr 13, 2009

I don't know if this will help but here's what I did. I naturally have a dominate personality-except in the bedroom. My husband and I have recently been exploring bondage. We've played around with it in the past but very infrequently.

I did an internet search for BDSM and looked at what other people do in pictures and video clips. The biggest thing I did was just ask what he liked. I did an internet search for BDSM checklist and had him fill it out. I was surprised by how much I could do to him.

I have written and have had him write different scenarios out. This has given me alot of ideas. Now we're just playing with these. Move to different rooms of the house or garage.

Hope this helps.

Sparrow69 · Apr 13, 2009

usually, dom's are just that, domanite, and as such need little "training," but some "guidance."
As for Ideas, there are classes, get togethers, meets, and seminars listed all over the internet. perhaps with a little more information, like the area your master is from, we would be able to provide a better answer.

MrAero · Apr 13, 2009

I've only been on two D/s relationships, both as the Dom, and the first one I really screwed up bc I wasn't able to get that mentality down. From my experience it's just going to take time and interaction with other Doms. In my case, I didn't want to hurt her and I had trouble causing her pain bc I loved her very much and didn't like to see her hurting. For instance, once, I punished her by spanking, but didn't do it long enough for her to be completely submissive--just enough to make her mad lol. And I stopped there because I was afraid of hurting her. it really hurt our relationship and especially the session. Now I know that spanking my sub--no matter how hard or for how long-- won't kill her, so I'm ok with causing her pain b/c I know she'll be ok. maybe this isn't the case for your Dom, but he just needs to always think "what's best for her?" and he'll do fine. It just takes time and experience for him to know the answer to that question. hope it helped!

Ms.sub13 · Apr 21, 2009

Sparrow69 I live in florida and I have trouble finding meets and seminars. I tried searching online and only found some from years ago. If you could help that would be great. Thanks

good places for info on the psychology of dominance

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