LIFE TIME Keep2Share PREMIUM
  1. So, I thought we could all use a laugh and I know we all get some good e-mails floating around the internet. I thought it might be fun to start a Jokes thread! :D

    I'll kick it off. ;) ;)

    A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course andheads into the grill room.

    As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging
    over the bar:

    COLD BEER:
    $2.00

    HAMBURGER:
    $2.25

    CHEESEBURGER:
    $2.50

    CHICKEN SANDWICH :
    $3.50

    HAND JOB:
    $50.00

    Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the
    old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally
    attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of
    sun-wrinkled golfers.

    She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer. "Yes?" she inquires with a wide, knowing smile, "May I help you?"

    The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, "I was wondering, young lady,are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

    She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs: "Yes Sir, I
    sure am"

    The old golfer leans closer and says softly; "Well,
    wash your hands real fucking good, cause I want a cheeseburger."
     
  2. The Wash Cloth 

    Ladies, this has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a 
    woman alive today who won't crack up over this! 

    I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. 
    Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me 
    that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only 
    just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 
    8:45am. 

    The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time 
    to spare. 

    As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when 
    making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the 
    full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the 
    washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick 
    wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the 
    washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car 
    and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few 
    minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, 
    I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and 
    pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. 

    I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an 
    extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond. After the 
    appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. 

    The rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. 

    After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out 
    from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get 
    another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was 
    here by the sink, it had all m y glitter and sparkles saved inside it." 

    Never going back to that doctor. Ever!!! 
     
  3. Yes, I know, they're corny... But come on... It's a nice distraction in the day, right? ;)
     
  4. Haha...I've heard the first one before, but not the second one...cool :D
     
LIFE TIME Keep2Share PREMIUM

Share This Page