Hi, I posted a while ago for advice after realising I'd been having fantasies about aspects of BDSM for a LONG time! I've done loads of reading and have tried all ways to get my husband to read to understand mainly the actual D/s relationship and also the safety aspects. He'd agreed to do this and I agreed I would do whatever it takes to free enough time to make this possible (we have two children and he works full time so its not always easy for him to find the time and I see this as serving him as I'm the sub!) So we agreed that he could demand sex whenever he wants it when the kids aren't around and in return he would do his research and move things forward. However things don't seem to be moving forward. At the moment its still rough sex when he wants it, there seems no build up to it, and during it there are no rules and on the occasion he has made rules for the session he never enforces them. We've both enjoyed experimenting with light spanking. We tried switching once after I won a card game and that was my prize!! I wanted to give him an insight into what I want and feel I did ok even though it felt really alien to me! It was a light session, no bondage just commands to stay still and light pain play. He said after I hope you enjoyed that as its the last time its going to happen as although he enjoyed it he is the one in control! However it still doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I've been lurking around here since my post and have read a couple of similar threads and in one a member (sorry can't remember who) said that she wished she would have put a pile of books in front of her partner at the beginning and told him to read them or not to bother thinking of ever having sex with her again!! Maybe I need to be more forcefull now and tell him things will go back to how they were before if he doesn't get his act together soon! But then will that knock his confidence and make things worse? Oh I just don't know! We have been really busy lately so Ive been trying to be patient but I'm getting frustrated now and feel reluctant to oblige to his commands! we've done a list of the things we would like to explore and our hard and soft limits and I wrote a separate list with my rules eg no rough play in front of the kids, reasonable demands which are possible to achieve etc, this included things such as I would like him to make rules for me etc (sexual D/s relationship only) but even this hasn't made a difference! Any advice or ideas greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.