Although these are etiquette and not rules, please abide by them as much as possible. Before Posting, consider: Is this post useful? Is it relevant? Is it helpful? Is it polite? DON'T: Double post (post more than once in a row). There is an edit button to change or add more to something already posted. Waiting a few days before updating, then posting a second without replies in between is generally okay. Cross-post (post the same thread in more than one section). This is annoying, and makes it less likely that you'll get useful responses. It's a good way to get ignored, and also means that if people reply in both places, they can't talk back and forth about how best to resolve a problem Post junk ('hi!' 'thx' 'thanks' 'cool' 'no idea' 'lol' etc). It's annoying, makes you look like a bot, doesn't help anyone, and the posts are likely to get deleted. We get a ton of bots that post junk (or copy posts earlier in the thread) to make the accounts more senior so they can spam in other sections. That is what you look like, and if you aren't a bot, it just makes you look stupid. If you must introduce yourself in one word, use the Say 'Hello!' thread. As is posted in many places, I have no tolerance for junk posting in order to get permissions for the video section. Derail (change the subject of a thread entirely). A few side topics are okay, especially if the OP is endorsing them, but as a general rule, don't take over/change a thread, especially to make it about you. Start a new thread or use the Random Chat thread. Thread necro (bump old threads to the front). A general rule is that after a month, or after the thread is resolved, you shouldn't bring it back up. The thread's OP may want to update or something, and if that's you it's fine, but do not go, read a thread, think 'that's [cool/horrible/interesting/I could be talking]!' and bump it. The thread is no longer relevant, and many times the people contributing have left. Generally, threads that are necro'd have the new posts deleted and thread locked. Start threads/introduce yourself in the guest forum. If you're a guest, do that. If you're a member of any kind, don't. That's a section for non-members, and although you are encouraged to go answer questions and chat, if you start threads there, they will be moved. It's not where they belong. Solicit members not asking (hit on people). Joking is fine, but if you're outside of personals, they probably would rather not be told 'hey you should be polyamorous instead of monoamorous.... with me!' or 'that sounds totally hot, would you like to try it?' or 'here's my YIM[/AIM/MSN/etc]' Contribute to necro, trolls, or bots (reply to any of the three). It makes cleaning them up harder. DO: Read the Newcomer's FAQ! There is a ton of information there for new kinksters and old. It is not just simplified information, there are essays on subjects you ask about. Maybe you have an independent problem not listed there, but please read it before asking something that has been answered Contrary to the last 'do,' discuss things (in a new thread) that have been mentioned elsewhere. If you want a discussion rather than an answer, that's okay. It's the matter of 'let's talk' vs 'tell me something I should have read elsewhere.' Participate! Participate a lot! Hang around after your thread has been answered! We love new members, and we love being kept updated, and so on. Drive-by posting makes the members sad. Ask questions! We love answering questions. Everyone here has different amounts of knowledge, don't feel silly or shy to ask. There is porn all over this site, there is no reason for you to feel shy about sexual talk. Look for the right place to post. It's easier for everyone to find it and answer appropriately. The big sections are right at the top: General BDSM, Safety, and Fetish. The next big things are Off Topic, Personals, Guest, and of course, Rules. Read the Rules, and any announcements. Again, these are not rules, but you'll be better off for reading them Be polite. Any rudeness is against the real rules, but it's also just common sense and etiquette that you should respect everyone else here. YKINMKBYKIOK or YKINMK or YKIOK = "your kink is not my kink but your kink is okay" or "your kink is not my kink" or simply "your kink is okay." As long as your kink, or those of other posters, is not harming anyone and is consensual, that is there business. If you see it as dangerous and are in a situation where it is polite to say, you may tell them why. But for everyone, your kink is fine, and so is everyone else's. Start a new thread for a new subject. This helps avoid derailing, gives the new subject the attention it needs, and is generally all around better. If it is a general subject, check that it isn't already in discussion. Research! Of course you may not know everything, and we may not, and the internet my be difficult to navigate. But if you have a pile of questions, some of which are yes or no or just in general do not only apply to you, go back and read old threads. If they don't answer your questions, they will at least give you something to read and something to think about. This thread is posted in multiple areas, so to keep it clean any questions or concerns should be directed here. Thanks for reading, I'll update as is fit.