Firsttimer needs advice on how to be a Dom/Master

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by xg00gl3x, Aug 28, 2011.

  1. xg00gl3x

    xg00gl3x New Member

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    Basically, me and my wife are getting a little bored of our sex life and we just want to spice it up a little. Problem is, I don't how to be a Dom/Master; anybody out there willing to give a few tips, suggestions or techniques?
  2. SirD

    SirD New Member

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    I'm somewhat new to the Dom aspect myself and there are a few things that have helped me.

    First(and this sounds like a bad movie quote),search your feelings.what makes you think you want to be a Dominant?You cant dominate another if you don't know yourself first.

    Second,RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH!!! This forum is a great place to read stories and informative articles,but dont stop there.The net is a HUGE depository of info.Just be careful to separate fact from fiction.Also there are books that are specifically on this topic.Hunt them down.

    Third,but probably most important,COMMUNICATE.Talk with your wife a LOT on the topic.What does she want?And why?What do you expect from her and how much power will she relinquish to you?

    Remember,true slavery is illegal in most places.In D/s,the submissive GIVES the power to the Dominant.Consider it a precious gift,and handle that power carefully.

    This is,of course,only my point of view.
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Have you read the FAQ yet? I was written specifically for beginners with these sorts of questions. There's a lot of stuff there to get you thinking about what you should and shouldn't do. Once you've read it, come back and ask some questions, perhaps a little more specific ones. Tell us what kinds of play you're curious about trying, for example.

    And SirD is right, do a lot of reading before getting too heavy into anything. As a dom, you are obligated to understand the safety basics of whatever sorts of play you want to explore, and that starts with reading what more experienced doms have to say about, for example safety with ropes or floggers or needles or whatever. Remember, when you are given the control, you also get the responsibility that comes with it.

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