First time used


MIRROR: Download from MEGA

I don't think there is a set amount per week when you have kids. I have kids and it changes things but not necessarily negatively.

Yes, we can't just get down and dirty in the middle of living room at lunchtime with little ones running about but we still make time for it, even if it's not full sex because one (or both) of us is tired we will still fool around and do SOMETHING. You can have quickies during nap time, it helps to be spontaneous and seize the moment when you have children.

It's very important to keep the intimacy level there once the kids come along so you still feel connected as a couple. Even if me and my guy haven't had penetration for awhile we will have done everything but full sex pretty much every day. I have the higher sex drive so he knows that I need something to keep me going in between sex ;)

Oh and I would say it's about equal with the submissive thing, although I think the difference is more in what male and female subs enjoy in terms of humiliation, pain etc.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account

sebastian

Active Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

I think subarama is right. I think men and women are dominant or submissive in roughly equal percentages, although the usual estimate is that there are more subs of either sex than doms of either sex. But our culture discourages women from being dominant and men from being submissive, so that skews the way that people make sense of their desires.

If you're going to ask your gf to tie you up, the two of you should have a fairly serious and open conversation about kink play. Tied up in bondage is not the place to discover that what she wants to do is not what you want to do. Something like tying your wrists with a scarf or blindfolding you is probably safe, but like Ceilidh said, you both need to know something about what can go wrong with bondage.

At a bare minimum, here's what your conversation about bondage should involve:
1) Establishing a safe word or two (see the FAQ for an explanation of what safe words are)
2) Telling her what you absolutely don't want her doing while you're tied up (setting hard limits)
3) Doing a little research with her about what is safe and what's not safe to do with bondage. Numbness is a number one warning sign that a limb needs to be untied. For some basic ties, she doesn't need to know a lot, but she does need to understand the very basics.
And if you can talk about this much, you can probably talk about almost anything unless you've got some really extreme fantasies that she might not be ready for.

There are two things that are necessary for rewarding exploration of BDSM: communication and courage. If you have the first and not the second, it's all just talk. If you have the second and not the first, it's cheating on your partner. If you have neither, you don't have anything. So although talking to her seems scary right now, you need to find the courage to do it. I guarantee that it will go ok. You can do it. We've got your back.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME Fileboom Premium

Randomguy86

Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Wow. Thanks for some great advice Sebastian and everyone else.

I think we would only be using cotton scarfs at the moment so Im not really worried about limbs going numb or anything as I would be able to get out if I needed to : )

Yea, gotta build up the courage to have a more in depth talk with her and find the time. lol.

Well we are probably having sexual contact about once a week, is that bad? She just seems to never be in the mood but I'm wanting it like 24/7 : (

How long did it take you to tell your other half your biggest deepest desire (throwing it out to anyone who wants to answer)?

Im pretty sure she would scream and run into the hills never to be seen again if I told her mine : ( hahahahahahaha
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME Fileboom Premium
Free LIFE TIME Fileboom Premium

Ceilidh

Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Do people still have sex after having kids? Hahaha. Just kidding but really how many times a week does everyone else have sex that has kids?

I have a kid. And well if I had my choice right now I would be having sex daily if not multiple times a day. Seriously, my sex drive has increased that much - I'm pregnant btw. However we are afraid to have sex due to my recent medical complications and the fact I have stitches and I can only imagine the pain I would endure if I ripped them, so we are trying to be "better safe than sorry"

But I would say during a normal time when my sex drive isn't in overdrive - lol - I would say we would have sex a couple of times a week when it is convient for us.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME Fileboom Premium

Randomguy86

Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

I have a kid. And well if I had my choice right now I would be having sex daily if not multiple times a day. Seriously, my sex drive has increased that much - I'm pregnant btw. However we are afraid to have sex due to my recent medical complications and the fact I have stitches and I can only imagine the pain I would endure if I ripped them, so we are trying to be "better safe than sorry"

But I would say during a normal time when my sex drive isn't in overdrive - lol - I would say we would have sex a couple of times a week when it is convient for us.

How far along are you? We will be trying for our second in a few months : )

I'd 'play it safe' too if I had stiches down there. Ouch...
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME Fileboom Premium

Ceilidh

Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

How far along are you? We will be trying for our second in a few months : )

I'd 'play it safe' too if I had stiches down there. Ouch...

Yes ouch. I was awake when I received them, however very numb from the waist down.

To answer your question, I am currently 25 wks and 4 days. This is my 4th pregnancy & I received my stitches about 3 weeks ago.

A little history so you can undersand. I'm healthy. I never need to see a doc, if I request one, it is serious. My first pregnancy, perfect not a problem. He just came at 35 wks 5 days. He however was a normal birthweight and length, he however did have jaundice. My second, I lost at 20 weeks due to an infection on the placenta that traveled down the umbilical cord to the baby. If she survived she would of had a rough medical life. The infection - chorioamnioitis- only happens in 2% of pregnancies. And my third I miscarried at 8 wks due to it stopped growing. And now my current one. At 21 weeks my cervix was severly opening, like 90% OPEN. Now thanks to the stitches my cervix is now 90% CLOSED. and to quote my doc, "Maybe we will be able to get you far enough along to see 38 wks, or even 40 weeks."
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME Fileboom Premium

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Wow. Thanks for some great advice Sebastian and everyone else.

I think we would only be using cotton scarfs at the moment so Im not really worried about limbs going numb or anything as I would be able to get out if I needed to : )

Yea, gotta build up the courage to have a more in depth talk with her and find the time. lol.

Well we are probably having sexual contact about once a week, is that bad? She just seems to never be in the mood but I'm wanting it like 24/7 : (

How long did it take you to tell your other half your biggest deepest desire (throwing it out to anyone who wants to answer)?

Im pretty sure she would scream and run into the hills never to be seen again if I told her mine : ( hahahahahahaha

As for once a week, I wouldn't say it's bad, it's when it gets to like once a month or more I would start to worry. Has she always had a lower sex drive than you? Also how young is your child? If baby is still waking up in the night etc that can really drag you down after a while. I was up at 4.20am this morning with my 5month old and it aint fun when they are smiling at you and not going back to sleep arrgghhhh lol

And I am a total coward, it has taken me 9 long damn years to be totally honest about my kinks with my other half, I was just sort of giving him bits and pieces over the years but finally couldnt stand it anymore and just had to get it all out in the open. He was more receptive to things than I thought and wasn't as freaked out as I feared so try not to worry about her running for the hills - I'm sure your kinks aren't THAT bad - or are they? :eek: Do tell, always like to hear something really depraved :D
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME Fileboom Premium

Randomguy86

Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

As for once a week, I wouldn't say it's bad, it's when it gets to like once a month or more I would start to worry. Has she always had a lower sex drive than you? Also how young is your child? If baby is still waking up in the night etc that can really drag you down after a while. I was up at 4.20am this morning with my 5month old and it aint fun when they are smiling at you and not going back to sleep arrgghhhh lol

And I am a total coward, it has taken me 9 long damn years to be totally honest about my kinks with my other half, I was just sort of giving him bits and pieces over the years but finally couldnt stand it anymore and just had to get it all out in the open. He was more receptive to things than I thought and wasn't as freaked out as I feared so try not to worry about her running for the hills - I'm sure your kinks aren't THAT bad - or are they? :eek: Do tell, always like to hear something really depraved :D

I know whats its like to be up at that time as I have always been the one to get up to bub because I feel awful if she was up all night then exhausted all day looking after her : (

Yea it seems to be taking about the same time with being honest about the kinks for me too as well.
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Free LIFE TIME Fileboom Premium

Randomguy86

Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Yes ouch. I was awake when I received them, however very numb from the waist down.

To answer your question, I am currently 25 wks and 4 days. This is my 4th pregnancy & I received my stitches about 3 weeks ago.

A little history so you can undersand. I'm healthy. I never need to see a doc, if I request one, it is serious. My first pregnancy, perfect not a problem. He just came at 35 wks 5 days. He however was a normal birthweight and length, he however did have jaundice. My second, I lost at 20 weeks due to an infection on the placenta that traveled down the umbilical cord to the baby. If she survived she would of had a rough medical life. The infection - chorioamnioitis- only happens in 2% of pregnancies. And my third I miscarried at 8 wks due to it stopped growing. And now my current one. At 21 weeks my cervix was severly opening, like 90% OPEN. Now thanks to the stitches my cervix is now 90% CLOSED. and to quote my doc, "Maybe we will be able to get you far enough along to see 38 wks, or even 40 weeks."

Thats really sad to hear about you loosing two little ones. I can't imagine what it would of been like to deal with that. You must be a very strong and brave person and I really hope this one goes well for you : )
 
Fileboom Premium Account

Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Top