ReallyGreen
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
I was wandering around a Renaissance Faire last summer and amidst the historical inaccuracies and genre mashing (In areas without a bi-mon sci-fi con the 'ren fest' is pretty much the only time you can wear your fantasy cosplay outfits in public) I noticed they were using a stockade for photo-ops.
Popular theme-park culture would have you believe that the purpose of a stockade is to house a professional heckler to get you to pay $2 for three rotten tomatos you can throw at him/her (Essentially a 'dunk tank' attraction). But in reality the stockade was literally a rape machine.
With your head and arms fixed in place and left in a hunched position overnight (most stockade punishments were a one day affair) not only was a real pain in your neck, but left you - scientifically - in the perfect condition to be routinely sodomized by whomever walked-up behind you (You can't even look behind you to see who it is).
My question is, why is this archaic buggery-device used for photo ops at theme parks? Does Epcot center also have a rape room inside the golf ball? Is there a human privy at Colonial Williamsburg? Can I get a cockmeat sandwich in Frontier-Land's jail??
Why stop at the stockade? Surely Ren. Faire patrons will swoon over a chance to pay $5 to ride 'the Rack', take a load off and sit for a spell in a Judas Cradle, or wait in line for a dance with the captain's daughter.
Maybe we could open a whole themepark - 'TortureLand' were anybody can be in a naked dogpile while ride operators take your picture and point. Or maybe cool off in the summer with some refreshing waterboarding.
Popular theme-park culture would have you believe that the purpose of a stockade is to house a professional heckler to get you to pay $2 for three rotten tomatos you can throw at him/her (Essentially a 'dunk tank' attraction). But in reality the stockade was literally a rape machine.
With your head and arms fixed in place and left in a hunched position overnight (most stockade punishments were a one day affair) not only was a real pain in your neck, but left you - scientifically - in the perfect condition to be routinely sodomized by whomever walked-up behind you (You can't even look behind you to see who it is).
My question is, why is this archaic buggery-device used for photo ops at theme parks? Does Epcot center also have a rape room inside the golf ball? Is there a human privy at Colonial Williamsburg? Can I get a cockmeat sandwich in Frontier-Land's jail??
Why stop at the stockade? Surely Ren. Faire patrons will swoon over a chance to pay $5 to ride 'the Rack', take a load off and sit for a spell in a Judas Cradle, or wait in line for a dance with the captain's daughter.
Maybe we could open a whole themepark - 'TortureLand' were anybody can be in a naked dogpile while ride operators take your picture and point. Or maybe cool off in the summer with some refreshing waterboarding.
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