Fail Fetlife/Daddy-Dom

chaoticist · Jul 1, 2011

This looks like a problem of unrealistic expectations. There's absolutely nothing wrong about what you put on the ad, or with having requirements. But you are thinking unrealistically if you expect people to be polite, nice, and respectful online (or even in real life). Just go in expecting people to be annoying, controlling, demanding, self-centered assholes, then you can concentrate on chuckling to yourself at their silly messages, and ditch them quickly with a laugh until you get to the rare reply that merits attention. Try to develop a thicker skin, lower expectations, and keep a sense of humour about things, and you'll find you get less bothered by it.

subarama30 · Jul 1, 2011

I agree that online you have to expect the worse from people and to have to sort through a lot of junk to get to what you really want but I also think that if you keep at it, you will get there in the end.

I also agree that you have to try not to get too upset or bothered by what people write. I think because it's not rl people can become assholes because you're not there to bitch slap them lol

Smallest · Jul 1, 2011

I agree with everyone. Don't lower your standards on the Dom you'll accept, but expect a lot of people who are jerks, idiots, trolls and so on getting at you. Just laugh it off and keep looking. And post the more terrible/funny ones here.

ickle_cat · Jul 3, 2011

i think that while there is nothing wrong with what you think or want you may have just phrased it in a slightly aggressive way.

"My Daddy should want to get to know me.
My Daddy shouldn't be interested into rushing play.
My Daddy should have intelligent questions about my limits and kinks.
My Daddy SHOULDN'T be jumping in trying to "Daddy me" on brief aquaintance.
And that I SHOULD be doing the same on my end!"

perhaps something less agressive and more appealing to the right kind of Dom would be to say "I'm interested in finding a Daddy who I can trust and play with. I'm new to the scene and a little nervous about meeting people online, so I'd really like to get to know you before we do any play. I've got some hard and soft limits and I have an idea about what my kinks are but by talking about them I'll be able to tell you more to avoid any unpleasant play and maybe you'll suggest some new things for me to try that I haven't thought of!"

not saying that you have to use that word for word but by being more gentle and perhaps exposing a more vulnerable side to yourself it'll appeal more to someone who will want to Daddy you. I'm only guessing about the relationship from the name that at least part of the way you relate will be him caring for you, so if you come across as someone who needs that then you're less likely to seem bratty, which is what some people might have interpreted from the way you presented your requirements as more of a demand than a request.

just my thoughts ont he subject, hope you find what you're looking for!

gothicjedi666 · Jul 4, 2011

My Daddy should want to get to know me.
My Daddy shouldn't be interested into rushing play.
My Daddy should have intelligent questions about my limits and kinks.
My Daddy SHOULDN'T be jumping in trying to "Daddy me" on brief aquaintance.
And that I SHOULD be doing the same on my end!

These seems fair to me I would of agreed to them.

kajmir · Jul 4, 2011

While I am very aware that people can be asses, I don't accept that it's ok. And it fustrated me because I don't talk or treat others like a pixel and I don't think anyone has the right to either.

I've come to the realizations:

-Somewhere someone would gladly have me.
-No more dominates, not that this solves the ass issue, but I'm not submissive. I am lg.

ickle_cat · Jul 7, 2011

what's an lg?

Smallest · Jul 8, 2011

Little girl. As in a Daddy/girl relationship

Fail Fetlife/Daddy-Dom

chaoticist

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subarama30

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Smallest

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ickle_cat

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kajmir

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ickle_cat

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Smallest

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