I had seen some of you mention Fetlife so I decide to go throw up an ad, hunt around and see what I could find reguarding information and such for a Daddy. As some of you saw I thought Daddy might be way for me to go. I still think it is, I did talk to a lot of people and at least have a decent insight that what I want isn't strange, unreasonable etc. It was infact, a pretty common varitation on how Daddies/little girls go. As some of you are sicK of hearing, I'm not good with the pain aspects. Pain for me is pain with the exception of some vaginal. And I find it's rare to find a Master who doesn't want at least the option of moderate pain for play/punishments. A low pain tolerance doesn't help, I mean 5 minutes with 1 nipple clamp will teach me LOTS, I swear. It was related to me more then once that the pain-side of Daddy/LG is more suited to me. From what I could gather, MOST Daddies didn't get a big thrill with floggings or hard pain. Things like long term butt plugs, Diapering for being a "baby about it" (not to say ofc all diaper is a punishment) taking away things I like....things I -CAN- handle..but that are effective enough to tease/bother me into submitting. I'm not a terrible difinate Sub to begin with... I took some of my own ideas, read a lot of theirs, both in reply and forums and came to a realization that some watersports would actually be fun, can't say I'll ever be into drinking but it certainly did expand my horizons a bit. Some of it simply never occured to me...kind of like when I first landed on Smplace. So now you've read all this, and are thinking, ok she learned, found some new kinks, she found what might work for her, WHAT is her problem? I went to fetlife with a strong intent to use the FAQ HERE, to help me sort threw the replies I got, which was no small amount. I went in with some basic, NOT optional views, a baseline, if you will: My Daddy should want to get to know me. My Daddy shouldn't be interested into rushing play. My Daddy should have intelligent questions about my limits and kinks. My Daddy SHOULDN'T be jumping in trying to "Daddy me" on brief aquaintance. And that I SHOULD be doing the same on my end! What I got USING these views was: "You're far too domineeering for a Little One OR submisive" "whatever you have been taught by anyone there is only 1 rule forget what everyone else says as the Dom establishes the relationship with the sub not others opinions from the past" Establish a relationship? After 10 mails most LESS then 4 setences long? And I'm the crazy agressive one? "you have something specific to the extent of it being over reaching" "If you'd relax we could have some fun, I'm sure" Fun? If I wanted a quickie masterbation session, I certainly DON'T need a Daddy or Master. "I tried to avoid what I perceived as a landmine and sure enough you exploded anyways. heres the reality, loud mouths too far away can comment on anything and fantasy can prevail however local engagements are the real test" He starts off fine, I dig a bit asking a few common questions to see if we have anything in common, his kinks? Music tastes? He avoids answering. He comes back with he's masterbated to imaging me swallowing by next weekend (he IS local and SERIOUS, I asked!) and rather then asking him about music I should be asking him to "fuck me bareback" Am I wrong? Crazy to use the baseline mentioned above? Many of them took my questions as some "cop interragation" <--that phrase was actually thrown at me. I thought I was showing common sense, I THOUGHT I was taking it seriously enough to show I am not playing games. Smplace has done a great deal of "raising me" reguarding saftey, avoiding posers who could harm me, life style, variations and such...in essence I thought I was DOING what I was "raised" to do? With that said, it WASN'T every guy, BUT it WAS enough guys to make me wonder if I'm nuts or they are? I had about 25 replies, about 6 of them said this to me. I definately HAVE kinks, I DEFINATELY have a will to submit BUT not with some dude I have little knowedge of, who wont SHARE or ask direct questions showing some interest and intelligents. And I'm not into HARD pain or shame! Does this make me UNsub, POOR Lg material? Do I really have to be "hardcore" (no offence) to fit in? So fustrated and upset.