Eye contact

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Obedient Little Puppy, Mar 10, 2009.

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  1. I am wondering how vital this is to others of you in your games, as it is a really big issue for me at the moment.

    I am an extremely shy person, in the bedroom (to a certain degree) and in my everyday life too. This extends to having extremely poor eye contact, being able to look someone in the eye for all of about a split second before needing to look away.

    The very first time I met my master, I could barely look at him or even speak to him, I was so nervous, and yet now, to look at us, you would never think that. But it took a very long time before I could look into his eyes, and maintain that eye contact.

    As well as being a huge deal for me because of my shyness, I find having to make eye contact humiliating, because I feel really exposed, like all my thoughts and innermost secrets are being laid bare for my master's pleasure, maybe even his amusement. But it also makes me extremely proud, because I'm pleasing my master, and building up my own confidence at the same time. When we played out our burglary scenario at the weekend, he was looking into my eyes for long periods of time, and because he was wearing a skimask, it was pretty bloody scary. And yet I loved it, felt confident, and wanted more. It's actually come to the point, for me, where if he is the one to break off our eye contact, I feel this odd sense of frustration.

    And now he has come up with some new rules for me. At my insistence, he has decided on a 'position' that I must assume whenever he orders it, sat bold upright, hands clasped behind my back, legs open, eyes lowered, and if he says 'eyes' then I must look directly into his eyes, or, I assume, he will punish me.

    I'm eager to see what others of you think of this small, and yet so powerful, activity, how it affects you and the games you play :)
     
  2. Death

    Death Member

    I don't have my slave yet, but the day I do, eye contact will be hugely important. There would be so many facets of it that I wouldn't even know where to begin. During play rape, however, I wouldn't want her to look into my eyes much at all. When I'd fuck her in a position where I would be able to look her into her eyes, I would look at her face, ready to offer my blank stare back at her if she would look at me. It'd please both her and me that she would look at me, now and then, causing her to feel even more vulnerable and me even more controlling, but if she would look for too long I would force her to look the other way. If I would give her a punishment fuck, she could look at me much more, but not constantly and not without begging for forgiveness. If she would even cry a little, it would be even better... it would support her in getting me to accept her apology. As for "everyday" life.... hmm.... I don't even know where to start on that. There would be so many unspoken rules. I might get back on that another time....
     
  3. I think being able to make eye contact with your Master is very important. I can't hide anything with my eyes and sometimes I feel as if he is looking into my soul, not just my eyes. It strips you bare, letting someone see your innermost thoughts and feelings. It is a very special thing that makes you feel closer to your Master, more connected to him. When I play Mistress (something I like but I would really rather just be a slave) I force my sub to look into my eyes as the orgasm. I find that it intensifies the experience, not only for me but for my sub.

    I really like the position you described. It completely exposes you to your Master, as it should be. I will mention it to my Master to see if he might want to do something like it. I have issues being completely naked around him sometimes and I try to cover myself up. When I do that sometimes I am punished and then he pulls away whatever I am using to cover myself and has me completely expose myself to him so that he can look at or touch whatever he pleases. If I am being particularly sensitive he might also make me look him in the eyes while he touches me. I am slightly bothered by it but it really turns me on to see the way my Master looks at me.
     
  4. Fire_burns

    Fire_burns New Member

    I think you have tapped into some nice psychological play there and for now that is all I think, but I will edit and add more to this later.
     
  5. Phantasm

    Phantasm Member

    My previous partner was not allowed to look me in the eyes unless told to, or an emergency of course (was severely asthmatic). Was also not allowed to touch my body, AT ALL.

    But yes, this does seem like a very powerful psychological "assault".

    Good times.
     
  6. Last night was a weird one. I was lying on the sofa with my master sat on top of me, pinning my arms down with his legs, leaving his hands free to stroke and pinch my nipples.

    Anyway, we had left my safetoy in the bedroom, so he told me that I was to look straight into his eyes if I wanted the torture to stop. Now for some reason, if my nipples are being touched in any way, I have to keep my eyes on them at all times because if I don't, it feels as though the pain is increasing, or if there is no pain, I will feel a strange sense of discomfort. I have no idea why this is, but that's not really the point.

    The thing was, I really wanted to look into his eyes, not to end the game, but just because I wanted to look at him. And not being able to do that made me feel weird. A combination of nipple pain, alcohol and frustration soon had me in tears, and then I wanted more than ever to make eye contact, and not being able to was really distressing.

    And yet later on, I was hung from chains and cuffs to a hook near the top of the doorframe, being flogged by my master, who was wearing just jeans and a skimask. And for this game, I felt so completely relaxed making eye contact; the mask is pretty scary, but I knew I was in no danger, and we kept eye contact even as he swung the flogger at my back.

    As I said, weird.
     
  7. Nyx

    Nyx Member

    Eye contact is an extremely powerful thing. I think that is probably the area in which I fail the most. When my top orders me to look at him I have to struggle to obey. Especially if I'm to look him in the eyes after being punished, because I'm generally ashamed.

    You brought up a good point in that it's like he can see into my soul. Even if I'm completely clothed I feel utterly exposed if I'm ordered to look into his commanding brown gaze.

    That said, I'm not allowed to look up once I've entered a position unless specifically told otherwise.
     
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