Exploring my sadistic side, help?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by missmasochist, Mar 29, 2013.

  1. missmasochist

    missmasochist New Member

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    I am usually submissive if a little masochistic.
    But I want to experiment with being sadistic, as I think it would intensify a few bdsm relationships.
    I am turned on my random areas of sadism. Such as choking, spitting, bondage, humiliation, blood play and even branding.
    I think I might be becoming a little switch!
    Any sadists out there who would help me explore this?
    Any tips on how to enjoy sadistic sex as a beginner?
    I am getting aroused by the idea of dominating partners who I usually submit to. I think that would be fun.
    Any ideas?
    Thanks a lot.
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    I'm definitely a sadist. The most obvious point is you need to make sure you're operating within consent--use a safe word to eliminate confusion and uncertainty.

    You also need to make sure you read up on the safety basics for any form of play you decide to do. If you're into choking, read the Newcomer's FAQ section about why choking is incredibly dangerous--it's not for the reasons you think it is. Cutting and branding are fairly advanced play--if you want to explore them, seek out a dom who's experienced in those areas and ask for tutelage.

    My advice would be to simple impact play--get a crop and learn where you can and can't hit someone, and then practice with the crop (on a pillow or your sub) until you've gotten fairly good with it. Then look into other impact toys--slappers, paddles, and the like and slowly work up to canes and floggers. Or explore nipple play, using clamps and clothespins.
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  3. missmasochist

    missmasochist New Member

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    Thanks for the reply.
    I will absolutely check up on safety etc. There's nothing worse than being with a dom who doesn't know how to hurt you right.
    I'll look up the issues of choking soon, as I love it myself!
    I like your quote, would you like to explain it further?
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  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Thanks. It's from a song by Shakespeare's Sister--I Don't Care. Earlier in the song, they say "We hurt the ones we love the most. It's a subtle form of discipline."
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  5. darknova42

    darknova42 Member

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    If you're a beginner sadist my advice would be to start slow. Especially when it comes to inflicting pain its important to have control of it.

    You'd probably want to do as sebastian says and try impact play first. Learn everything you can about the hows and whys. Learn how much strength you need to be putting into the blow for different tools.

    IMO pain is supposed to be a contrast for pleasure and pleasure a contrast for pain. Even if the person is a masochist or a hardcore painslut you might want to consider inflicting pleasure with the pain even if all they ask for is pain.

    I'd also suggest rather than some tool like a crop or a paddle you might want to consider just using your hand. Using your hand you can feel how much power your putting into the blow, its easier to aim, and you can control whether or not the impact has more sting than thud by spreading your fingers or cupping your hand. Another thing is that with the hand there's nothing between you and your sub, so for me at least it seems a lot more intimate.

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