Explaining marks?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by subspace, May 23, 2009.

  1. subspace

    subspace Member

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    So I cancelled a doctor's visit a few weeks ago b/c I had too many marks to explain away (it was an annual physical). Well I rescheduled it for next week and as of right now I would cancel again but if I get no more new marks I think I'll be okay to go. I know the lady that will take blood this week will at least give me some strange looks. Has anyone every had to explain strange marks and cuts to a doctor (not a counselor)? What did you say, what happened?
  2. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

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    Doctors are different, as they are bound by oath the accept what you say as a consenting adult. they can usually tell when something is afflicted as opposed to accident, so if you lie, they may see through it and feel obligated to report possible domestic violence, and then you find yourself explaining a lot more to more people, like police and detectives. Your best bet is always to be honest. when you tell them the truth, the most they can do is advise you against such course of action, but regardless of their personal vis, they have to accept your choices. They can also check the marks to make sure that none are the result of deeper, more permanent damage.

    Here's a thought to ponder. If you were in a horrible car accident, would you rather your doctor know which bruises were already there so they can be ruled out of what needs to be looked at immediately to save your life, or would you rather them examine every mark and bruise then, possibly wasting valuable time to correct a major problem?
  3. RRR1609

    RRR1609 Member

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    This isn't exactly the same, but it's along the lines. My (vanilla) boyfriend doesn't know about my BDSM relationship, but we don't do sexual things so my master can leave as many marks as he wants under my clothes. Well, last night I was wearing really short shorts and my boyfriend saw my bruises and kind of freaked out. Heehee....I told him I ran into a popcorn machine that is at my work and he completely believed me. I find that people prefer to believe a silly excuse rather than thinking it is the cause of something bad. People in general don't want to have to deal with the truth because they're usually too absorbed in their own problems to want to take on other people's.
  4. Nyx

    Nyx Member

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    Luckily I'm just a klutz so people just assume I've run into a door or smacked my legs into a counter. In fact, when people ask about a bruise I can honestly reply with a, "Uh, not sure how that happened!" 'cause I usually don't remember!

    Plus most of my bruises are on the back and ass. :p

  5. Click here for more.
    I'm lucky in this respect, because although my master's flogger leaves some intense red marks, they are always gone by morning. Hiding marks from parents is an awkward one too; I had 3 of my 4 tattoos done while I still lived at home, and it wasn't until 2 years after getting the fourth, that they found out I had any :D
  6. KinkyPink

    KinkyPink Member

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    I would just tell the truth, plain and simple. You should be able to trust medical staff by default, you wouldn't believe what they see every week. Bruises from BDSM shouldn't be anything new to them.
  7. subspace

    subspace Member

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    I have figured out that the idea of my doctor becoming upset with me and reprimanding me is really turning me on. Isn't that horrible? I need not create D/s scenario in the doctor's office (we already have a weird sexual tension thing going on). It used to upset me when he would fuss at me about taking my medication wrong now I think I am seeking out the conflict. I am really going to make an effort to just go and not manufacture a fun scene that the doctor is not a willing player in. Wow, my psych/counseling degree is coming in handy today, a little self analysis is a good thing.
    Anyone else ever create this sort of thing/situation? It's embarrassing and childish, but thank you for helping me figure it out!

  8. Click here for more.
    I have recently been pulling OLP's hair roughly to one side, in order to expose her gorgeous pale neck and inflict a lovebite. 'Hicky' in the States? [I'm very pale too, but not a vampire . . . . honest].
    These have not been too bad, but I might improve the next one, I know they are adolescent and childish, but apart from a 'property of' tattoo, it's the next best thing, and anyway, it turns me on. Nuff said. :)

  9. Click here for more.
    No idea about in the US, but they call it that up in North Wales; down here I heard it was called a 'grotty' and someone I know recently called it a 'tramp stamp' :confused:

    I'm not really keen on the idea of a 'property of' tattoo, but a lovebite, childish as it may be, is a nice little temporary mark. I've been told I can expect a caning at some point in the future, which I heard can leave its mark on the skin for days or even weeks afterwards, so I wouldn't want any where they could be seen, especially if I have to visit my parents or something like that; if I needed to keep a part of my body hidden, my mother would get suspicious, and if faced with marks like that would more than likely call the police :(
  10. subspace

    subspace Member

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    I go tomorrow to have my bloodwork done, we will see if the nurse mentions the odd marks. I thought they would be gone by now but they are still fairly visable (which I like).
  11. subspace

    subspace Member

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    Ahh, I love to bite (when allowed) feels great! I have a combination of marks some of which are self-inflicted (as stress relief). My wrists are slightly bruised from being restrained to tight (actually just right :)) two nights ago. I am more worried about the nurse noticing the self inflicted marks though most are fading.
  12. subspace

    subspace Member

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    Hey MoP, my 2 nd post was in response to yours, where did it go.

    Opps my bad, it was Mr.Dom13!
    Last edited: May 28, 2009
  13. george_brooks59

    george_brooks59 New Member

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    It's called a "hicky" here and a "tramp stamp" in the states usually means a tattoo on the lower back.


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    Called 'arse antlers' here.
  15. Amuk

    Amuk Member

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    I think I like that name much better. lol

    As for explaining marks, my sub used to hide those that she could, though there were times when she would wear them proudly. Some would ask, and she would just ask "Wouldn't you like to know?" Or something like that. One of her friends didn't need an explanation though, which led to an interesting conversation.

    Though I've never really had to explain marks myself, I know that it's best to be honest, rather than lie. People see through lies a lot. Just think about all those times people lie straight up to your face and you know that they're being dishonest. If anything, just stretch the truth. Leave out some information and let them assume what you want them to.

    Or you could just play it simple and said "Things got kinky." Something my sub would say quite often to those unaware of our lifestyle. lol

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