Domming/subbing Persona

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by North253, Jan 12, 2011.

  1. North253

    North253 New Member

    So I have been lurking here for a week or two now, getting to know the crew here and thouroughly enjoying it, but I was going through some older threads and came across something interesting. Sebastian was advising a girl on how to be a better domme to her newly sub Bf. He was suggesting that she develop her domming persona. I know Seb likes to use a cop persona, is this a fairly common occurence, to use highly developed alter egos? And if so what is yours?


    A little on me so yall have an idea of my knowledge base. I have never been in a Bdsm relationship of any kind. I didn't even know I might be into it until a couple months ago. I do know that I have found it to be highly fascinating since I started researching etc. I am still trying to figure out wether I identify as a sub or a Dom since I find aspects of both very intriguing.
     
  2. Nuka

    Nuka Member

    I don't know if it's alter ego as such, but I'm quite vampuric. I tend to take long strides, almost gliding when I walk, I'm more nocturnal (or would be if I had my way) and I love biting and blood.

    When I'm Domming my sub I hiss and growl and things, and extend my normal self (the vampire thing) but I do it subconsciencously.

    I'm also fairly tall (6'4") around a foot taller than ash as well as two years older and that helps in my domination; physically and mentally.

    ash herself is very cat like, she acts like a feline outside of the bedroom subconsciencously with actual purring, the head rubbing, pawing, even licking the back of her hands and then moving her hair out of her face. So naturally that entered naturally as a persona into her sexual life.

    So for us I guess it's not alter ego, more extension of our own personalities. We're both rather animal like and when that becomes sexual it's more that we feel like we're freeing ourselves.

    What would you say then you go into? I know you say you haven't done too much with it, but how do you feel when you are Domming and subbing?
     
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    For me, my domming personae grow quite organically out of core personality. I don't try to be something I'm not when I dom; rather I let the aggressive, cruel parts of me come out in ways that feel very natural. There are two personae that emerge at different times. 'Sebastian' is sort of refined, a little silky, talks softly, and makes jokes (I love playing 'this little piggy' with a boy's tits). My 'Beast' on the other hand, is more primal, cruel, and savage. He growls a lot, swears, calls the boy names, and is a lot menacing. He expresses a sort of rage without anger (that's the best way I can describe it). I can switch from one to the other fairly quickly, but the Beast only comes out when I'm particularly turned on. Sebastian is quite willing to make a boy stand and wait for my attention; the Beast doesn't have patience for that.

    My advice is to figure out who you are as a dom and build your persona around that. Just pay attention to what your instincts tell you when you dom and see what you can figure out about your persona. I don't think you have to have a persona to be a dom, but I think it's the sort of detail that separates a good dom from a great dom.
     

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