Dominant speech?

Carbon · Oct 12, 2010

My sub wants me to start using more humiliating speech towards her during our play, and I agree that I want to try it, but I'm a bit stumped as to how. Any tips on telling her her place?

sebastian · Oct 12, 2010

One trick that I like involves vocalizing what I think the sub is feeling. "Yeah, it sure hurts when I pinch your nipple like this, doesn't it? You really wish I'd stop, don't you?" Doing that creates the sense that the dom knows exactly what's in the sub's head, which means that the sub can't hide his/her desires. Then I build on that by taunting the sub. "Look at how turned on you're getting by the way I'm treating you! It's fucking pathetic that you get so excited by abuse like this. Most guys would get angry at the way I'm treating you, but you're just gonna lie there and take it, aren't you?"

Another trick I use is to call the sub something vulgar, and then force him to repeat it. "You're a fucking pussyboy, aren't you?" "Yes, sir." "Say it, boy." "I'm a pussyboy, sir." <slap> "No, you're a fucking pussyboy." "I'm a fucking pussyboy, sir." Forcing the sub to repeat the insult validates it and deepens the humiliation by making the sub vocalize it himself.

SubAnna · Oct 16, 2010

The thing with repeating it is very, very effective I think. Just thinking about that situation, I'm already a little humiliated :S
Also I would say humiliation is very subjective, so you have to know what would humiliate her, and push her buttons. For instance I have talked to a sub online who was made, by her dom ofc., to rather than just say "Im going to the bathroom Sir" say "Im going to go pee Sir", and she was beyond humiliated by this (and turned on in consequence

). But personally I would not be THAT affected by it, so it really depends on what is a taboo/humiliating for her, without crossing the line.. Generally for girls I think it would be humiliating to break down the whole "proper girl"-image. For some girls even being forced to talk dirty or admit they are sexual can be really humiliating, if you know what I mean? But again, it depends A LOT, and some ppl. can also deal with much more humiliation than others ofc.

sebastian · Oct 16, 2010

Yes, SubAnna. I agree. Humiliation is very sub-specific. What humiliates one sub will seem blase to another and horrible to a third. So find out what sorts of things seem humiliating to her and why. Once you know why she finds it humiliating to have to ask to pee, you can start to figure out other similar things that will humiliate her.

Carbon · Oct 17, 2010

sebastian said:
One trick that I like involves vocalizing what I think the sub is feeling. "Yeah, it sure hurts when I pinch your nipple like this, doesn't it? You really wish I'd stop, don't you?" Doing that creates the sense that the dom knows exactly what's in the sub's head, which means that the sub can't hide his/her desires.

Very interesting, I'll try that out. Thanks.

sebastian · Oct 17, 2010

Let me know how it works. A lot of what I do is sort of instinctive for me. I know it works, because I've had guys tell it does. But how universal it is, how transferable it is or how rooted it is in my particular persona, I don't know.

Dominant speech?

Carbon

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SubAnna

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