fluttershy
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hey. does anyone know the difrnece between bdsm and domestic displine? is it posible to do both? would and one recomend dd?
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domestic disipilne vs bdsm
- Thread starter fluttershy
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sebastian
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Honestly, I think the difference is a question of terminology. I would tend to put 'domestic discipline' as a subset of BDSM, touching mostly on the domination and pain play spheres. For example, 1950s Household is a style of BDSM that really involves domestic discipline.
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fluttershy
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k.. sorry 4 asking so many questions we r still forming what we wanna do and such and r trying to lern about it.
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sebastian
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No need to apologize at all. A big reason this site exists is to help novices understand BDSM. BDSM can be incredibly confusing until you 'get it'. And no one is born knowing this stuff. I'd much rather you asked a lot of questions than didn't ask and then somehow screwed up your relationships, harmed your partner, or had some other bad thing happen.
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VladHarkonnen
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I kind of thought of "domestic discipline" as having a bdsm relationship with one's spouse.
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fluttershy
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iv been reading around and so far it seems like its a little less sexual than bdsm
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hrhmadison
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Domestic Discipline -- Can be very different!
Domestic Discipline is in my understanding and former practice is -- very, very different from BDSM. Domestic Discipline is practiced among many people including a subset of "christian" households who believe that man has the responsibility to guide his wife, up to and including spanking. Domestic Discipline for the others whom I know who practice it is not in anyway sexual, it is more of way for those who might act out, feel out of control or choronically misbehave or under preform are "reminded" and guided back to the correct path. Many women who practice this, in the past myself included, used it as a method to keep the unmotivated and forgetful self on task and focused.
For example, it is really important to you and your health to exersize and your family needs you to do laundry each day... however, it seems like you continually make excuses for why the laundry isn't done or why you forgot or could not get to exercise. So... comes in the Domestic Discipline. The husband will monitor the behavior the same as a child's; and when you again forget -- Whack! you get a spanking or a huge punishment. You are supposed to be bent over the knee and it is supposed to hurt -- at least the way I was taught this method it was. I can tell you that as an adult it did not feel good and because there was no sexual charge to it -- it was not fun at all. I have also, in the past been put on an allowance or been grounded. Get a few good spankings with a wide paddle hair brush and you will wake up ready to get that exersize in asap. The only "pleasure" received from these spankings if you could call them that was the hug and speech at the end reminding me/us that we want to make positive changes and that we still love you, etc.
Now... for the confusing part. Except for myself, no one else that I knew of practiced any additional sexual practices and from the few sex conversations had between friends; found that many of my cohorts were as vanilla as it could get in the sex arena. (" I just don't think I could even bring myself to buy a vibrator?" LOL!)
Any way -- fast forward to today. Where I am the Dom and my male sub is feminized for play, disciplined and bound and whatever else I dream (or read) for that evening/scene/day. When he is disciplined it is for an infraction, either one he missed or one that I set him up for, knowing he would miss it and need a correction. However, all his corrections are still done in a sexual fashion. Naked, feminized, Bound, Spanked, Whatever. There is still the element of sex involved since I am disciplining him in the sense of his role of sub/fem. When I punish for a larger infraction it is still in the same sense of the sexual arena. I.E. Holding a dripping candle over his cock -- he is being punished, he hates it, he knows he screwed up big time, but it also has a sexual connotation to it - naked, and domination, etc. Finally, the bondage and other play for no other reason except that I know he enjoys and when he is excited -- I am excited too. (PS... I never was excited about DD. Petulant perhaps, but never excited.)
Domestic Discipline and the proponents (book authors) often discuss in workshops (yes, they have these) the danger of creating any type of sexual atmosphere when using Domestic Discipline techniques due to the confusion and "psychological danger" it could cause a person. They clearly state you should separate sex from DD, and some go as far to say that it should not be done in your bedroom ever, to be effective.
Frankly, I think DD didn't really do much of anything for me, except clearly acknowledge, that I had a lot of fetishes. And really, I find that sex and BDSM are clearly more motivating. I would do a lot of dishes and exersize alot to get mind blowing bondage and sex; or rather I know my sub does these things.
I hope this helps.
Domestic Discipline is in my understanding and former practice is -- very, very different from BDSM. Domestic Discipline is practiced among many people including a subset of "christian" households who believe that man has the responsibility to guide his wife, up to and including spanking. Domestic Discipline for the others whom I know who practice it is not in anyway sexual, it is more of way for those who might act out, feel out of control or choronically misbehave or under preform are "reminded" and guided back to the correct path. Many women who practice this, in the past myself included, used it as a method to keep the unmotivated and forgetful self on task and focused.
For example, it is really important to you and your health to exersize and your family needs you to do laundry each day... however, it seems like you continually make excuses for why the laundry isn't done or why you forgot or could not get to exercise. So... comes in the Domestic Discipline. The husband will monitor the behavior the same as a child's; and when you again forget -- Whack! you get a spanking or a huge punishment. You are supposed to be bent over the knee and it is supposed to hurt -- at least the way I was taught this method it was. I can tell you that as an adult it did not feel good and because there was no sexual charge to it -- it was not fun at all. I have also, in the past been put on an allowance or been grounded. Get a few good spankings with a wide paddle hair brush and you will wake up ready to get that exersize in asap. The only "pleasure" received from these spankings if you could call them that was the hug and speech at the end reminding me/us that we want to make positive changes and that we still love you, etc.
Now... for the confusing part. Except for myself, no one else that I knew of practiced any additional sexual practices and from the few sex conversations had between friends; found that many of my cohorts were as vanilla as it could get in the sex arena. (" I just don't think I could even bring myself to buy a vibrator?" LOL!)
Any way -- fast forward to today. Where I am the Dom and my male sub is feminized for play, disciplined and bound and whatever else I dream (or read) for that evening/scene/day. When he is disciplined it is for an infraction, either one he missed or one that I set him up for, knowing he would miss it and need a correction. However, all his corrections are still done in a sexual fashion. Naked, feminized, Bound, Spanked, Whatever. There is still the element of sex involved since I am disciplining him in the sense of his role of sub/fem. When I punish for a larger infraction it is still in the same sense of the sexual arena. I.E. Holding a dripping candle over his cock -- he is being punished, he hates it, he knows he screwed up big time, but it also has a sexual connotation to it - naked, and domination, etc. Finally, the bondage and other play for no other reason except that I know he enjoys and when he is excited -- I am excited too. (PS... I never was excited about DD. Petulant perhaps, but never excited.)
Domestic Discipline and the proponents (book authors) often discuss in workshops (yes, they have these) the danger of creating any type of sexual atmosphere when using Domestic Discipline techniques due to the confusion and "psychological danger" it could cause a person. They clearly state you should separate sex from DD, and some go as far to say that it should not be done in your bedroom ever, to be effective.
Frankly, I think DD didn't really do much of anything for me, except clearly acknowledge, that I had a lot of fetishes. And really, I find that sex and BDSM are clearly more motivating. I would do a lot of dishes and exersize alot to get mind blowing bondage and sex; or rather I know my sub does these things.
I hope this helps.
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fluttershy
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that did help. i think right now we're doing a bit of both lol
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