Dom and sub new to forum, few questions


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No one can tell you what you like so its probably best to start with what idea turns you on first. Remembering that sometimes what seems hot in our minds can be totally awful when it's actually done to you!

Pain - he can basically hurt you anywhere on your body, doesn't have to be an erogenous zone. Butt, back, arms, legs, but you have to take it slowly so you know what you can tolerate and what he is comfortable doing to you. He can use things on you or just his hands/teeth.

Bondage wise, you don't have to be on the bed or tied to it. He can bind your hands or feet in some way, either makeshift or using bought restraints. I have a collar that has a wrist restraint attached so he can bind my hands in front or behind my back. He can make you get on your knees and give him a blow job or crawl around on your knees to do things, it's up to you, just make sure that whatever is attached to your neck isn't too tight and can be released quickly as when you move your hands you will put pressure on your own neck! There are spreader bars that you can get for your ankles, you are still bound in one way but have full use of your top half. There is plenty you can do, it's what appeal most to you.

Humiliation -I don't like this myself but again, this is a wide spectrum. Some people like being called 'slut', 'whore' type things others like to be told how worthless they are and made to do demeaning things. How far do you want to go with it? Being made to eat out of a dog bowl? Simply doing chores naked while he ridicules you and punishes you for not doing it correctly? Humiliation means different things to different people, what would be mortifying to me might not bother you at all.

Control - how much are you willing to give up? You can take it all the way to controlling when and what you eat, when you use the bathroom, what you wear, those sorts of things. Or do you only want him to control you in the bedroom?

HTH
 
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Pup play is where one or both of you roleplay as puppies. It can be the form of trainer/master and puppy, or less often, alpha and omega. It can be humiliation, or humiliation can be incorporated, but most people who do it just see it as another kind of BDSM and lifestyle, and often enlightening or empowering to act that way. For pups eating out of a bowl is often just considered the right thing to do, for being a sub and their roleplay, but for some pups it's humiliating.

I'm not a pup by any means, but that's a brief summary.

I am going to answer your "real" questions, but I shouldn't be on the computer when my Sir gets here (soon).
 
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BrionLyaila

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Control for now is just going to be in the bedroom, although I did toss the idea of him controlling me for a whole day around. He got this shit eating grin and said "that'd be a nice change" he said he would probably really enjoy it, I think in the next few days we're going to do that.

I'm not really sure what more control he could have in the bedroom. Any one have experiences they would not mind sharing. This is just all really a new mindset for both of us, so I draw blanks when I try to come up with things.
 
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sebastian

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In my post in the Newcomer's FAQ on the 4 spheres of BDSM, I lay out a whole range of things, so try reading through that post for ideas. I don't really think of them as hierarchies so much as clusters. If you like verbal humiliation, try forced nudity or bootlicking or him writing on you. If you like bondage, try blindfolds. If you like control, try regular protocols, voice training, and so on.
 
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sebastian

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Protocols are standing rules of behavior that the sub is expected to demonstrate constantly (either all the time, if 24/7, or only when they are in sub mode). For example, when I had a 24/7 slave, whenever we went out anywhere, he opened all doors for me. He carried most of my packages. He never sat while I was standing. I ordered all his food, and he waited for me to start eating before he ate.

Voice training is a subset of protocols that involve controlling the sub's speech. My slave said 'Sir' at the beginning and end of every sentence. Some slaves only speak when spoken to, or request permission to speak.
 
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BrionLyaila

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Any one else ever get so horny, unusually horny for normal. I feel like I can't take care of it. No matter how many times master and I have sex or how many times he allows me to come I still am constantly wanting more. How do you usually cope with it. I've never been a really horny person, I've always been rather difficult to get to come too.

Honestly I think it has to do with my reading material as of late (smplace for example) I think I may have finally found what truly turns me on...but how do I deal with constant horniness?

Help please
 
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Bryon, as I remember the punishment box was a box wit a bunch of punishments written on slips of paper, which were pulled out like names out of a hat.

I am like that most of the time- I have a very high sex drive, especially once I get started. I don't have a lot of advice for you either, but coming enough times (not necessarily at once, but over the day) generally just tires me out enough not to want more. You said you have trouble coming, and I can't help with that much. Alone, using a hitachi generally gets me fast enough, and with my master I don't even need that (not that I mind it either). And for it being constant, you might just need to get used to it, but I'm no expert.
 
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I get like this sometimes. It can be awful when you feel constantly pent up no matter what you do. I will read things online or watch tv or anything can set me off again and I'm like a dog on heat.

I have the higher sex drive of the two of us but my fella is used to it. He just jokes that I'm like an Energizer bunny and he has to just keep going till I'm a puddle on the bed/sofa/floor/wherever!
I find when I'm like this masterbating doesn't do it for me, I have to have my man touching me, even if its not full sex, I NEED HIM, the smell, taste etc is enough to sate me for the day.
 
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