Do you think you "look" like a person that is into BDSM?

master jey · May 3, 2010

Obedient Little Puppy said:
Something really strange happened to me just now

I was doing my powerwalking, and on the main road, which was pretty deserted at that point, I passed a lone, nondescript man. As he passed me, he looked at me and whistled. Not a wolf whistle, but the whistle a dog owner uses to call their pet. And he didn't have a dog with him

This isn't actually the first time this has happened; I was at a party recently and a girl I'd only met that night invited me to sit beside her, by saying 'come on' in the tone of voice one uses on a dog, and also tapping the chair in the way someone does when they want their pet to jump up

Now, this could just be me being paranoid, or maybe, somehow, I am subconsciously giving off hints, or an impression, that I play as a puppy? I'm not doing anything obvious; no collar and lead, or walking on all fours or anything, just acting normal, and 100% human

I know this thread is about what people look like, but there's obviously other things too, that people pick up on, so now I'm kinda curious if the two bizarre experiences detailed above could have any meaning

interesting...i think you just pay too much attention

Amuk · May 4, 2010

Sparrow69 said:
i dont think its so much how you look, but more how you carry yourself that tips people off to your dominant or passive side. As I've said, im on the shorter side, but people dont perceive me as such even when they've hung around me for years.

I definitely agree that it is more a persons demeanor that defines them, rather than appearance. Even then it can be difficult to tell, as some people have noted, and as I will expand upon.

sillylittlepet said:
well what kind of person "looks" like a sub or a dom?

People used to think that my boyfriend (and master) is the whipped one, and when they make that comment to him he gets REALLY angry
and usually punishes me! ; _ ;

That's how it is for me... or at least most of the time. People usually don't see me as being the dominant one. Albeit, I've rarely been viewed as "whipped." In my case, I don't get angry when someone mislabels me, instead I offer to prove them wrong. Or give them an example. Either of which tend to produce humorous results.

sluttysub said:
I do admit, I see people dressed in goth and my mind does turn to bdsm behavior. But the same can be said about a confident, professional looking man (or woman).

While gothic imagery tends to stir thoughts of the scene into mind, I have found that it can be quite misleading at times. I have known people that dress in that dark, gothic style, but are disinterested or otherwise less inclined towards BDSM.

I believe there really is no easy way to just look and tell whether or not someone is in the lifestyle. Part of the reason is that some choose to remain hidden, some choose to keep it in the bedroom, and others, like myself, tend to neither look nor act the part on a daily basis. What I mean by that last part is that I, and possibly others, do not actively or passively give off any of the "tells." Rather, I just act like a quiet, polite gentleman to those around me. However, that's not to say that I never have that dominant attitude in public, but most of the time, people wouldn't be able to guess what I am truly like.

hopefulsub · May 4, 2010

Recently my master and I split from each other for our own reasons. It was a mutual agreement, as we both pursued other lovers. However, we have had some interesting run-ins since

I have been conflicted about dressing as a sub, since I am a sub with no master. I have a boyfriend, and he does not protest such attire, but I am still battling with myself over not having someone to dress for.

My old master and I are still friends, and though apart he says he'd hate to see that piece of me disappear and that the way to hold onto it is to continue dressing like what, who I really am. It has been difficult, and I look more slutty than like a sub. But then again, "slut" was his name for me

I find this the best way to show what you are without people really knowing.

J3Z · May 5, 2010

Hmm, probably not. I˙m more cutelike than dominant looking. Might give the people the idea that i might a sub due to my somewhat shy personality but i doubt anyone would think of me as a Dom lol
I˙m 5"9˙ hair dyed light blond, greenish eyes, average figure and people have told me that i look younger than my age, which is 19.

XD

Alexandra · Jun 17, 2010

My boyfriend (soon to be master? I hope...

) always calls me Princess Jasmine! I'm really exotic looking - light eyes, darker skin and dark hair (Portuguese/Indian/Irish/French/Russian/Carribbean - basically every continent outside of Australia!

). I'm 5'9 and weigh about 120 lbs, 36 C.

Everyone tells me I'm beautiful, wish I could believe it but I have an eating disorder so I can't see straight! Also, I'm schizophrenic with BPD, so I do have some issues on top of that... My dad knows that I like to be dominated but he will do ANYTHING in his power to prevent me from getting my sexual needs and regularly interviews my current boyfriend to make sure he's treating me with respect and all that jazz... (he has broken up my BDSM relationships in the past and threatened the men involved... my psychiatrist, nurses and all of my family agrees with him so nothing I could do about it really - he even got a restraining order against my dom of 3 years)

What else? I'm very new age; Vegan, childfree (only 20 but I know), HUGE animal activist, into astral projection, mysticism, astrology...

I think from my shyness people might guess that I'm submissive. I do tend to attract dominant men for some reason.

Currently hoping my current boyfriend (I want to marry this guy!) will progress beyond anal sex and occasional biting and spanking and do some more drastic stuff - I know he's definitely into it because anal sex is his favourite and he comes so fast when he's spanking me and doing my ass from behind - but he's just SO shy. I've only gotten him to hit me in the face a couple of times and he got so turned on...

But I want 24/7 and nothing less. What can I say? I'm just that type of girl...

Sorry for the rant - this is my first post. Lol.

Hi!

Darktruth · Jun 17, 2010

I donâ€™t look like a person into BDSM at all, I look remarkably like James Hatfield in the early 80â€™s (tall, skinny and long blond hair). Iâ€™m actually incredibly shy around people I donâ€™t know and when Iâ€™m in a group of people I know but donâ€™t particularly like Iâ€™m normally very quite indeed. The strange bit is people have always followed me; I remember playing sports at school and even though I was never a captain on any of the teams I was always the one making the choicesâ€¦it was the same for school projects.

slaafe · Jun 18, 2010

I'm with the majority here in that I don't look the part. Heck, when I'm not at work people would think I work as a white collar professional with the lousy jeans and t-shirts I wear.

My mannerisms only take form when I'm being extra polite to women. They may just think I'm a nice guy, but in reality I'm really being a pig. My niceness is a passive aggressive method of submitting to them without their knowledge.

theonlyone · Jun 21, 2010

I can't see anyone thinking I'm in to BDSM unless they pay attention to my accessories. I have a chain braclet with a little lock on it, a belt with a large lock as the buckle and a name plate that says "mine". However if they did, I assume most would assume I top. I have a top personality in RL. Very out going, natural leader, have no problem making decisions, breaking up fights, standing up to anyone, the list goes on.
I do have to admit, when flirted with, it's instant subbie behavior. I blush, studder, fidget and drop things.
On just a glance though, I wear jeans, tee-shirts and flip flops most days. I think I'm very good at blending in.

subspace · Jun 21, 2010

I had this very thought when I was in a large crowd at an air show a few weeks back. I was standing next to a trio of gothy punky sorts, ya know skull and cross bone jewelery, died hair lots of tattoos etc while I was wearing simple jeans a t-shirt that said "Carolina girls - sweeter than the tea." Now between them and me, if you had to place a bet on who was into BDSM which would you choose....

Sub4Life · Jun 24, 2010

I don't look like I'm into BDSM, but I think most people know whats up when I am around my Master in public, just because he pretty much takes the lead.

My master looks even less like he would be into it. He is tall, slender, neat short hair, always clean shaven and is in a business suit more often then not (which I love). He looks like a typical business man on the outside.

Do you think you "look" like a person that is into BDSM?

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