Did you come here because of 50 Shades of Grey? Then read this

jackk frost

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its fiction!........... no different than a book or movie about anything else. I know someone who is currently in the third season of a reality TV show about a business he co owns. When asked how real the show was his response was " it's TV come on"

You guy's are taking this book way too serious because it happens to be a story that involves something we happen to be more versed in than most.

If someone reads that book and thinks it's okay or cool or even the standard in BDSM than thats their own stupidity.
 
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Smallest

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Fiction in this case is still realism, and the relationship and acts it is portraying are still abuse, and people all over the world (as demonstrated on comments online, talking to people at the sex stores, and so on) are taking it for an example, and calling the abusive person/acts 'romantic.' It is a very real problem, and I can already foresee your "but it's fiction" response, so here's the short answer to you:

Stop trolling or get off my forum.

This is a thread to promote safe play and prevent abuse, not to defend negative portrayals. I don't give a shit if members like or hate the books, the point is to teach people who are new here and who came because of it the flaws and provide information throughout the forum for safe, fun play.
 
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jackk frost

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Smallest,

I was in no way trolling. Simply giving my view on a fictional book. As I sad above there are many movies and I would presume books about people being abused. I just think it is offensive to some in this community because this our niche.

I agree with you that this is a forum to teach people about safe play etc.... and I 100% agree there should be a disclaimer to those coming here because of the book that those types of actions are in no way accepted.
 
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sebastian

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Jackk, the problem isn't that 50 Shades is depicting abuse. The problem is that it's depicting abuse and calling it love and BDSM. These are really two separate problems.

1) There is a long tradition in Hollywood of depicting abusive or stalking behavior as 'romance'. To pick one example, in the Christian Slater movie Bed of Roses, he plays a florist who falls in love with a woman and starts sending her flowers, because he's too shy to talk to her (IIRC, he's grieving for a dead wife). One day she comes home and finds that he has broken into her apartment and filled it with flowers. The movie finds nothing wrong with this behavior--it's presented as a sign of his true love for her. Another minor example, in the Lionel Ritchie video for 'Hello' (from the mid-80s), Ritchie is in love with a blind woman. At one point he calls her up on the phone but says nothing when she answers. In both cases, the man's behavior would be extremely frightening to any actual single woman, but it is presented as just sweet love. 50 Shades is perpetuating a long tradition of such ideas.

2) Many actual abusers claim that what they are doing to their victims is simply consensual BDSM. There's a depressingly long list of cases in which men have persuaded women to agree to be slaves, and then proceeded to terrorize them, get them addicted to drugs, force them to star in porn films or photo shoots, injure them to the point of hospitalization or death, and so on. Many women who genuinely wish to explore submissiveness with men have found themselves in situations like this ought of naiveté or a misunderstanding of what BDSM is. And some BDSM advocates have argued that there is a hidden epidemic of rape within the BDSM community, with doms ignoring consent, renegotiating limits during the scene, and so on. 50 Shades is actively teaching naive women that rape and abuse are legitimately part of BDSM and thereby helping perpetuate these misconceptions and crimes.
 
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magicblast

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I just rather love the arrogance that comes with reading "50 Shades." I would never read such drivel, especially since it's a poorly written Twilight fanfiction with obvious themes from Secretary thrown in, but it's actually pretty amusing how my friends are now "experts" on the matter. When I was last out with them, I was being told about "50 Shades" and given a lecture about how BDSM works, with the added note "You've probably never heard of this, but..."

I couldn't help but smile sweetly and think "You really have NO idea."
 
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Roland

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Secretary

I just signed up on this forum today after my wife and I watched Secretary a few days ago. It completely altered her perceptions on her life and her neo-feminist attitudes. We are now experimenting with my dom and her sub natures with fantastic results. I look forward to learning much more from these forums to help our relationship grow.

About a year ago, I started to recognize my own dom nature and began reading a lot on BDSMLibrary, as well as The Control Book and The New Topping Book. Besides The New Bottoming Book, does anyone have any suggestions (or a forum link) for books she should read?

As for FSOG, I have never read it and never will based on the reviews and its apparently flawed representation of BDSM. I will say, however, that it has opened up many eyes, and hopefully those people will dig deeper to truly understand how to practice safe and consensual BDSM.
 
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sebastian

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AriBee

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I read it and I loved it, I have no idea why though (I think I'm just so masochistic that I decided to torture myself with this book). Granted I started skipping all the Sex scenes because they were just so blehhh. The entire time I was just complaining about poorly written it was and how stupid the characters were, out loud might I add while my boyfriend was driving us 2 hours to his moms, he suggested I stop, but I just wanted to find out what would happen. Silly twilight fan fiction!
 
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