Did you come here because of 50 Shades of Grey? Then read this

Smallest · Jul 20, 2012

Sebby, I have a thing with reaction .gifs. And I have no problem with a long/negative review, but was worried someone who liked 50 Shades might perhaps feel mocked, and not get down to the important part (it's not BDSM, it's abuse), which is why I added the ctrl+f note.

Imp- I haven't read all of 50 Shades (excerpts and the beginning, and I did not/could not read more), but I agree, especially with both Twilight and 50 Shades having weird approaches to rape/abuse and so on. eg Bella's dad: "Jason was trying to kiss/feel you up? High five, Jason!" (Jason's his name, right?). Furthermore, I agree that I (and many people who are vanilla) will read and know it's not BDSM, and just take bits (as I said about handcuffs, above).
Also, re: publishing, I did that, I'll just never get picked up by Penguin or whoever has her. All the writer-folk I know are a bit pissed, since getting a large publisher to pick up erotica was difficlt, and now we're all self pubbed or signed with small ones- and really, it's still hard to get 'real' erotica published (more sex, more graphic, sometimes less romance).

Moonlight · Jul 21, 2012

I am still trying to get through the book. A friend told me it was the best book she ever read and I would love it so I just have to read it. Now I am trying to force myself to finish since I paid for the books. LOL

wendywatkins · Jul 21, 2012

I haven't been into BDSM for very long... but I've been around it for quite a while, and honestly I think 50 shades is offensive. I haven't read it, but I've read enough reviews and heard enough from other to know this.

Not only is it offensive, it's fucking dangerous! There are so many young women who are reading it thinking that it's ok to stay in an abusive relationship because the guy will change...

REALLY?! And that is being glamorized by this series! I've seen multiple posts on Facebook and Fetlife of girls saying they can't wait to find a guy like Mr. Grey. Great... In five years every female my age is going to be in an abusive relationship.

I think the author needs to apologize to the BDSM community, and make a statement about how remaining in abusive relationships is never ok! And that people with sever psychological problems like that of Christian and Ana need therapy... People like that are not stable to start a relationship as intense as one of D/s.

Not only all of that crap, but BDSM is about trust, safety and communication. None of this is present in the characters' relationship. The chick is a fucking virgin and he is taking things way too hard on her, and she is letting him because she wants him to fall in love with her and change him. First of all, he as a Dom should see that he is hurting her and she is not in the proper frame of mind in many of their scenes. Second, she as a sub needs to trust her Dom enough to say something!

That is why this book has nothing to do with BDSM. And that is why this book provoking people to get involved in BDSM is scary. They're starting out with this fucked idea already.

Ok... Rant over...

thinmint7 · Jul 21, 2012

Hehe, ok my two cents... I am currently STILL trying to get through this damn book. My hair stylist, my mom and my grandma! have all read it and have mentioned it to me. I originally read it from the previous post, and soon after realized that they were reading it. One says sexy as hell, the others thought it was a weird book. Personally, I am thinking wtf, man! Ok, so first, it is a fan fic, which I thought this knowledge made the book more relatable (I read Twilight), otherwise the characters seemed extremely undeveloped. Second, the characters did horrible things to each other that I feel nice people would rethink. I get that they reacted the way the author would, but she cannot of had many healthy relationships. The consent did not exist in my opinion, due to the fact that they were having sex before she ever signed anything, or she was drunk! And third, she doesn't even trust the douche! She has a hard time answering his question until he talked her into the right answer. He is manipulative, mean, selfish and abusive, worse still, he is aware of it all and the bitch still doesn't leave him!

Ok, I need to stop because I am getting worked up at this point. I have done nothing but moan about this book to Master for days, ugh! Lol!!

Smallest · Jul 21, 2012

I think reading this thread will be better for the 50 Shades folk than the review at this point. So many good opinions are chiming in.

Moonlight · Jul 22, 2012

I was so annoyed at the characters. Her getting angry at his female friends while she expects him to smile and not at her male friends.

Her asking him to hit her with the belt then way overreacting and leaving when he did as she asked.

Geez if I ask to be hit and I get hit just like I asked and never once asked him to stop when it got to be too much I have no right whatsoever to be angry at him. I should ask for another ass whoopin to knock some common sense into my brain.

There are too many things to list that really annoyed me in this book but those stood out the most.

jackk frost · Jul 23, 2012

I think people who get offended about 50 shades are pretty darn funny. First the book wasn't written to bring people to BDSM or teach people BDSM. It's a fictional story!!!!!! My wife and I have been into BDSM for a few years now and she enjoyed the book. From the little I read of it/ about it, it seemed liked a good story.

Just because a book is about characters who do what ever they did in 50 shades doesn't mean they were trying to appeal to hard core BDSM couples or teach/ bring others into it...... it's a fictional book people.

Smallest · Jul 23, 2012

Jackk, the problem isn't that it 'doesn't appeal' to us, it's that it glamourizes an abusive (or at best, borderline) relationship and unsafe play, which is dangerous to inexperienced people. It isn't supposed to teach people, but it is a hugely popular bad example, and many people won't go 'hey I should research how this is safely done!' they'll go 'well it seems safe in the book!'

Of course, the fact that we didn't like it because it's shittily written gives us more to complain about, but that isn't the reason it is a problem.

sebastian · Jul 23, 2012

I agree with Smallest. As an educator, I constantly run into popular but false ideas that people absorb from popular movies, tv shows, and books. Popular media is very powerful--it tends to embed its version of things into the audience's head, and can be extraordinarily hard to displace. A good example is Oliver Stone's JFK. One scholar did a study where he surveyed people before and after they saw the movie. Before the movie, a large majority said that JFK was killed by a lone gunman, but after the movie a majority said that Osward had acted as part of a larger conspiracy.

So 50 Shades is teaching people that men abusing women is what BDSM is all about. It plays into stereotypes of romance that say that if a woman loves a man hard enough, she can heal him, even if he treats her badly all the time. The novel will not only teach people some disastrously bad ideas about what BDSM is about, it will also enable some abusive men to victimize women in the guise of performing consensual BDSM.

Smallest · Jul 23, 2012

And even if they don't look at it and say "BDSM is abuse" or "abuse is sexy" they will see elements of abuse portrayed as sexy.

Did you come here because of 50 Shades of Grey? Then read this

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