I had a nice chat last night with my lady friend. She was in the sub headspace, totally, and while I enjoyed it and got a chance to stroke my evil streak, when talking about limits the phrase "whatever you wish" makes me very uneasy. As does the phrase "I trust you" in the context of how far I can take her. I can't really explain why. I know it's not that I have some very dark impulses in me I should be afraid of. I don't.... I think I think it may be that level of devotion. In my previous relationship it was a balance. There was playtime and there was "not playtime" where we argued about who got the remote (her), who put the dishes in the fridge and breakfast in the sink (me) and what we should do about her son not doing good in school (panic). There was a partnership with ups and downs. This relationship now is totally unbalanced in comparison. It's still in the starting gate, but if all goes well, does that ever change? There's just... my will. I know that to her it's not just a game and that to me, in the past, it was. I want to take that part more seriously with her, I'm looking forward to it, exploring that part of myself, including the responsibility it entails... but ... why does that make me uneasy?