Dear Members of SMplace, Suggestion

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by kajmir, Sep 14, 2010.

  1. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    I have another suggestion, please no frowing.

    I noticed in the personal ad section a lot are rather vague about what they want and who they are. Now I do realize most will continue along in forum pm's, not a bad thing. But first, you gotta get them interested!

    It seems that many of you are at a loss for words? Or maybe you don't realize there are people like me around who don't responed well to vagueness?

    a/s/l "Anything goes.." I'm not sure, maybe it's me, but it doesn't exactly make me wanna hit you up. And EVERYONE has limits, it's ok, I won't rant again, promise.

    Might I ask those sub's and dom's who read this thread to suggest what get's their attention? What do you like to know right off the bat?? I know for myself, I want to know likes, and dislikes with some detail, gives me a baseline to compare compatiblity.

    And maybe in doing this we can give ad poster's a bit of a template and a better chance as finding their own pet or owner?

    (Waits in hope for the Glorious 8 to reply)
  2. decoyicus

    decoyicus Member

    Although I'm not looking for anything right now I have browsed the personals out of curiosity and I don't think I have seen a single one I would answer if I was interested in finding someone most of them are so vague the person just lists age, gender and role I don't think I have seen one that featured turn ons and offs let alone limits. I think if I was posting a personal I would list age, gender, role, limits, requirements, experience and a few traits that I would like but not necessarily require. I think most peoples problem is they would rather be vague then make contact to talk about what they are looking for because they don't really want to put themselves out there.
  3. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    Ah 1 of 8...

  4. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    Bad grammar is a turn off
    A very serious turn off

    I would respond to someone who listed interests that I have! If someone is like "I want a sub" then that's pretty boring.

    If someone says "I want a sub who is interested in...." or "I'm looking for a sub who enjoys..."
    then I can say to myself "well gee, I'm a sub! And I like those things!"

    You dont need to be vague if you're afraid to put yourself out there. Thats what screen names are for!
  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    My suggestion would be to browse the persons of an actual fetish dating site (like Recon for gay men). It shows you just how specific a good fetish ad should be. My ad on Recon makes very clear that I enjoy pain play, so if you don't really get into pain, we're not likely to be a good match.
  6. Boundperil

    Boundperil Member

    I don't ever really check them. Most of my subs I have found through either my writing, or reading theirs. Usually just in general conversation. I don't 'need' a sub, though I've had many over the years, just play sessions are good for me.

    What I like to see, mainly the same desires I have, which is hard to come by. One of the reasons I like FETlife. So, listing your desires would be a big plus for me.
  7. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    The Master I choose was NOT actually someone who replied to my ad, he was like the Accidental Master, someone should make a movie, way more interesting then some tourist.

    And while ad's MAY not be the way to go, I'd like to see those who do use them and are sincere have a better chance.
  8. Boundperil

    Boundperil Member

    I agree with you. The reason I don't use them is for the problems you have had. I think a lot of times, people don't know what they want, or are afraid to admit to it, even on a fetish forum.
  9. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    Does anyone feeling like making a bit of a template, 1 for doms and 1 for subs? Maybe they could be stickied at the top if personal ad's? Just to gives those needing it a bit of an example.

    I considered it but I think it'd be more beneficial with someone experienced and who doesn't have a massive headache...

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