Coprophagia, or 'why I'm now incredibly sick'

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by ReallyGreen, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    From Wikipedia.
    Not only do they have a page for shit eating, they also direct me to something called a 'Hot Karl'. Wikipedia has no entry for Hot karl, so I'm forced to use Wikipedia's special-ed cousin Urban Dictionary.

    And thats why I never tell immigrants who have learned English as a second language to use Urban Dictionary. You get 11 entries for a sex act. And 10 of them are probably wrong. If I ever decide on a new career I think i will form a governing body for the naming and usage of sex-acts.

    For those of you born after the internet, anything that wasn't in PLAYBOY or HUSTLER might as well have not existed. But thanks to the miracle of downloadable porn, we can now study bizarre sex acts from all over the globe. Which for people like me can be a bad thing. Because once we learn something exists, we have to do it (I also have a habit of going into foreign restaurants and telling the cook to "surprise me").

    So once I learn of this legend, this rumour that people actually shit on each other during sex, I had to see it. Sadly most of what I found was clearly fake, and I figured like snuff, this was probably illegal and nobody really did it. Then I found a video called Mitzi's menu on a watersports website. And low and behold, honest-to-Gods caprophagia. Fast forward a few months and this past Sunday my wife finally decides to give it a go.

    1. The smell is simply awful. Its like death, from inside the cadaver.
    2. It has a texture like warm...something. I'm not sure what but its bad.
    3. The close-up view of someone shitting on your face is something that immediately gets burned into your brain. It likes to pop-up for a split second everytime you try and eat something.
    4. Besides "hot" and "bitter" I am forbidden by law from telling you what it tastes like. Something about 'anybody that curious will do it anyway'. If anybody ever tells you something "taste like shit" please punch them in the neck for me, only a handful of people are qualified to say that.
    5. I did jerk-off, but oddly I don't remember an orgasm. I think I was dry heaving while my ejaculate was still in the urethra and I was fumbling with the shower controls before endorphins could be absorbed by the brain.
    6. Moveable 'showerhead on a hose' is a really good investment.

    Rest of the day goes-by fine. I even had sex again at about 3 o'clock. The trouble didn't start until about 6am the next morning. When I was awoken by the feeling of 3,000 beetles trying to eat their way out of my intestines. Yes, the bathroom has been my most lived-in room these last two days.

    I'm shitting at least 17 times a day. And when I do shit nothing comes-out but black water and something that may be bright-yellow phlem. In addition I'm also puking an orange soup four times a day. So my entire torso is sore from the physical effort involved with vomiting. My throat burns from stomach acid. My asshole is bloody and raw from wiping. I have a fever. And I'm constantly sweating like a whore in church.

    So if I happen to die sometime soon, let this post serve as my last warning to mankind: Don't eat shit. Its bad for you. I may die, but if i don't I can't forsee ever doing this again.(I'm certain this should be common knowledge, but unlike touching a hot stove-top, who the hell would eat shit?)

    -ReallyGreen (I'm not sorry it wasn't filmed. trust me, you don't want to watch this.)
  2. Stargazer

    Stargazer Member

    Bloody hell!

    You're a braver man than I for even contemplating it. I even heave at the thought of people who drink urine and claim it has amazing nutritional properties. I always say that if the body wants to get rid of something, best to get rid of it for good.

    Sometimes it ain't good to recycle.

    Hope you recover, best of luck.
  3. Sashalust

    Sashalust Member

    Wow......just wow. This has further cemented my standing against anything involving shit going anywhere but into the toilet. I hope you get better soon.
  4. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    kudos to you for being so brave. Get well soon.

    btw, your statement #4 is my favorite... "Punch them in the throat..." LOL
  5. 6th: to shit into a sock and hit slap a chick in the face with the sock. :D LOL

    Get well soon, you crazy bastard. :cool:
  6. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Urine is basically saltwater. Aside from being an impromptu mouthwash I can't think of any health benefits to guzzling urine.
  7. filfy

    filfy Member

    you must have some guts mate, i tell ya that.
    get well soon though
  8. MrAero

    MrAero Member

    get well man
  9. Yeah, hope you get better soon :)
  10. Prissy

    Prissy Member

    Gross me out. And to think I once found the clip two girls one cup. I watch about 1 minute of it and closed it as I was almost throwing up at that point. From what I understand it is a 15 minute video, and not one person I know has sat through it. If you can find it and sit through it, I will bow down to you as having the ultimate in iron cast stomachs.

    Oh Edit: Get well soon, you crazy fool.
  11. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Its a 90 minute standard-length porn film. The clip that everyone knows (with the piano music) is just the 90 second "trailer" for the video.
  12. Flingress

    Flingress Member

    are you okay now, reallygreen? is your gastroenteritis and fever gone?
  13. nix

    nix Guest

    That 90s bit didn't gross me out at all, there was a really obvious cut between the shitting and the eating and it looked very fake.

    I wouldn't watch the whole movie though cos if I was convinced it was real... eww.
  14. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    I've seen it. the whole thing. paid 15 bucks for it out of sheer morbid fascination after seeing the 10 minute promo that was floating around. Its gross, really gross.
  15. RRR1609

    RRR1609 Member

    Ughhh, ReallyGreen this is so gross! i hope you get better...this might be a dumb question, but did you go to the doctor? Hahaha, what would you say to him?

    "4th: When someone (or something) named Carl has a high temperate, or is giving off a large amount of heat." This is my favorite! It's hilarious.

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