ReallyGreen
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
From Wikipedia.
Not only do they have a page for shit eating, they also direct me to something called a 'Hot Karl'. Wikipedia has no entry for Hot karl, so I'm forced to use Wikipedia's special-ed cousin Urban Dictionary.
For those of you born after the internet, anything that wasn't in PLAYBOY or HUSTLER might as well have not existed. But thanks to the miracle of downloadable porn, we can now study bizarre sex acts from all over the globe. Which for people like me can be a bad thing. Because once we learn something exists, we have to do it (I also have a habit of going into foreign restaurants and telling the cook to "surprise me").
So once I learn of this legend, this rumour that people actually shit on each other during sex, I had to see it. Sadly most of what I found was clearly fake, and I figured like snuff, this was probably illegal and nobody really did it. Then I found a video called Mitzi's menu on a watersports website. And low and behold, honest-to-Gods caprophagia. Fast forward a few months and this past Sunday my wife finally decides to give it a go.
1. The smell is simply awful. Its like death, from inside the cadaver.
2. It has a texture like warm...something. I'm not sure what but its bad.
3. The close-up view of someone shitting on your face is something that immediately gets burned into your brain. It likes to pop-up for a split second everytime you try and eat something.
4. Besides "hot" and "bitter" I am forbidden by law from telling you what it tastes like. Something about 'anybody that curious will do it anyway'. If anybody ever tells you something "taste like shit" please punch them in the neck for me, only a handful of people are qualified to say that.
5. I did jerk-off, but oddly I don't remember an orgasm. I think I was dry heaving while my ejaculate was still in the urethra and I was fumbling with the shower controls before endorphins could be absorbed by the brain.
6. Moveable 'showerhead on a hose' is a really good investment.
Rest of the day goes-by fine. I even had sex again at about 3 o'clock. The trouble didn't start until about 6am the next morning. When I was awoken by the feeling of 3,000 beetles trying to eat their way out of my intestines. Yes, the bathroom has been my most lived-in room these last two days.
I'm shitting at least 17 times a day. And when I do shit nothing comes-out but black water and something that may be bright-yellow phlem. In addition I'm also puking an orange soup four times a day. So my entire torso is sore from the physical effort involved with vomiting. My throat burns from stomach acid. My asshole is bloody and raw from wiping. I have a fever. And I'm constantly sweating like a whore in church.
So if I happen to die sometime soon, let this post serve as my last warning to mankind: Don't eat shit. Its bad for you. I may die, but if i don't I can't forsee ever doing this again.(I'm certain this should be common knowledge, but unlike touching a hot stove-top, who the hell would eat shit?)
-ReallyGreen (I'm not sorry it wasn't filmed. trust me, you don't want to watch this.)
Not only do they have a page for shit eating, they also direct me to something called a 'Hot Karl'. Wikipedia has no entry for Hot karl, so I'm forced to use Wikipedia's special-ed cousin Urban Dictionary.
And thats why I never tell immigrants who have learned English as a second language to use Urban Dictionary. You get 11 entries for a sex act. And 10 of them are probably wrong. If I ever decide on a new career I think i will form a governing body for the naming and usage of sex-acts.URBAN DICTIONARY said:
For those of you born after the internet, anything that wasn't in PLAYBOY or HUSTLER might as well have not existed. But thanks to the miracle of downloadable porn, we can now study bizarre sex acts from all over the globe. Which for people like me can be a bad thing. Because once we learn something exists, we have to do it (I also have a habit of going into foreign restaurants and telling the cook to "surprise me").
So once I learn of this legend, this rumour that people actually shit on each other during sex, I had to see it. Sadly most of what I found was clearly fake, and I figured like snuff, this was probably illegal and nobody really did it. Then I found a video called Mitzi's menu on a watersports website. And low and behold, honest-to-Gods caprophagia. Fast forward a few months and this past Sunday my wife finally decides to give it a go.
1. The smell is simply awful. Its like death, from inside the cadaver.
2. It has a texture like warm...something. I'm not sure what but its bad.
3. The close-up view of someone shitting on your face is something that immediately gets burned into your brain. It likes to pop-up for a split second everytime you try and eat something.
4. Besides "hot" and "bitter" I am forbidden by law from telling you what it tastes like. Something about 'anybody that curious will do it anyway'. If anybody ever tells you something "taste like shit" please punch them in the neck for me, only a handful of people are qualified to say that.
5. I did jerk-off, but oddly I don't remember an orgasm. I think I was dry heaving while my ejaculate was still in the urethra and I was fumbling with the shower controls before endorphins could be absorbed by the brain.
6. Moveable 'showerhead on a hose' is a really good investment.
Rest of the day goes-by fine. I even had sex again at about 3 o'clock. The trouble didn't start until about 6am the next morning. When I was awoken by the feeling of 3,000 beetles trying to eat their way out of my intestines. Yes, the bathroom has been my most lived-in room these last two days.
I'm shitting at least 17 times a day. And when I do shit nothing comes-out but black water and something that may be bright-yellow phlem. In addition I'm also puking an orange soup four times a day. So my entire torso is sore from the physical effort involved with vomiting. My throat burns from stomach acid. My asshole is bloody and raw from wiping. I have a fever. And I'm constantly sweating like a whore in church.
So if I happen to die sometime soon, let this post serve as my last warning to mankind: Don't eat shit. Its bad for you. I may die, but if i don't I can't forsee ever doing this again.(I'm certain this should be common knowledge, but unlike touching a hot stove-top, who the hell would eat shit?)
-ReallyGreen (I'm not sorry it wasn't filmed. trust me, you don't want to watch this.)
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
LOL 
