So heres the deal: my boyfriend and I are exploring in the bdsm world and finding our place- so to speak. We have this one particularly nasty whip which i love to be used on me and I have asked him to hit me harder than he does (hes afraid to hurt me but i want to see how hard is appropriate so to speak). We were playing the other night and i experianced annoyance more than anything at being hit (i think this is mostly because he has a tendancy to graze the same place multiple times) and asked him to stop and he did. I didn't see this as a safe word situation so i did not use it, but immediately after he stopped I was regretful that he did. I was gaining pleasure out of being hit at first but then it sort of came to a point where it annoyed me out of being turned on. We discussed maybe including red light yellow light and green light plus our safe word into our play, but im not sure i want to have that much power. I feel confused on this topic as Im not sure how to correct this situation without either handing myself too much control or using the safe word every time i get annoyed (although i feel like the safe word is only for situations where something is really wrong emotionally or physically). Also, if anyone has any whipping tips I would be greatful to share them with my boyfriend.