Confused and upset

Tumbl3

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So I'm a dom and I have a sub. We have a friend who likes to bite and is also dominant and we've cleared boundaries. He can bite my sub, I don't mind.
Anyway, to the point, our friend was over and he was biting my sub and then my sub goes to ask why I never bite him, in front of company.
I do bite him, all the time, and he complains so I stop.
Then, later, he goes on to say in front of company that I'm not good at biting him and that I need to bite him harder.
And now I'm upset. Do I have a right to? I'm not sure. I'm not even sure what I should do. I'm going to talk to him because I don't think he was doing it on purpose, but I'm still hurt and now I feel less confident. I really wish he had waited to tell me this in private.

Advice would be appreciated, any help at all. I just feel really confused and lost.
 
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sebastian

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BDSM requires constant discussion between dom and sub. What made sense early in the relationship may not make sense later. Fantasies change, deepen, or get resolved through fulfillment. Issues come up and need to be discussed. So it sounds like you're at one of those points where you need to talk to your sub about what he meant and how it affected you. He may not have been serious about the comment, or it may have been something he's wanted to discuss but wasn't sure how to. You have a right to feel however you feel, and if you think it's going to affect your ability to dom him, you definitely need to discuss it. Good luck.
 
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Sparrow69

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for one, a sub should never question a master about anything in front of company. ever. never ever. and for that you should definitely be upset and hurt and your sub should definitely be disciplined.

I cannot advise you on what such a punishment would be because I am not you, and your sub is not mine... HOWEVER if one of my subs were to do such a thing, I can tell you that the punishment would definitely be memorable and visual. If a sub embarrassed me in public, the outcome or course of their punishment would also be public.
 
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Darktruth

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for one, a sub should never question a master about anything in front of company. ever. never ever. and for that you should definitely be upset and hurt and your sub should definitely be disciplined.

Its not as if it was just once and a genuine slip as well. Tumbl said “then, later,†meaning he did it twice.

For him to do it once is one thing (still get punished for it) but to do it twice would warrant serious punishment. Does your sub understand how he hurt you Tumbl?


If a sub embarrassed me in public, the outcome or course of their punishment would also be public.

Out of interest Sparrow, how would you punish one of your subs if they did this to you? :D
 
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Martello

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All the advice here is perfect IMO but I would like to give my opinion.
You have every right to be upset, I would be beyond upset. Where as a sub should have never have done what he did; no one in any relationship capacity EVER so or do anything like that in front of company. It's completely disrespectful of your station as his Dom as well as disrespectful to the relationship you both share. If I had been in that exact situation I would feel it might be part of an underlying issue that might continue. You must both regard one another with respect. I would also see to it that any communication involving this issue would be definite and clear. On a personal level this isn't something I would consider acceptable a second time.
 
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