Discussion in 'General fetish discussions' started by jcbeautifulslut, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. my daddy likes for my to where a collar but he is funny about it sometimes...
    there are times he will tell me not to wear it and others we will..
    is that normal I mean I thought collars were an all the time thing..i like wearing it to show my devotion to him and that he owns me but sometimes he acts like he doesn't want me to wear it...and when he is tells me not to wear it the way he says it is almost like he feels bad for making me wear it.
    what should I do?
  2. no one has any opinions on this subject?
  3. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    I'm not hugely into collars, but I'll try.

    To start, not all relationships use collars 24/7, and this, along with the rest of your dynamic, is something you should have discussed with him. Some people wear them all the time and have a discreet collar for public, others wear them just in the bedroom, others only for certain kinds of play, some at home only, etc. So there's a chance that while you thought that a collar should be all the time, he didn't make the same assumption.

    Regarding that he doesn't always want you to wear it, what are the times that he does not? If he doesn't want you to wear it in public, that's understandable, there's discretion involved. If he doesn't want you to wear it to bed, he might be worried about safety. If it's something else, I can't think of an obvious reason, but if it has a pattern, there might be one.

    The fact that he sometimes seems upset/guilty if you wear it seems odd. Perhaps he thinks the relationship isn't ready for 24/7 control, or maybe he feels guilty or abusive for controlling you. That's pretty common in new doms, and the only way to help him get over it is to talk to him about it, and tell him how much you enjoy wearing your collar. Again, more specifics might help, but this is the idea I'm getting. If he reads the Newcomer's FAQ here, it might help.

    You'd be best to ask him, though. BDSM relationships are all about communication, and he's the only one who will know why things are that way. And in case it isn't obvious from everything else I've said, what you should do is sort out your feelings for the matter and talk to him about it.

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