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You could wear something symbolic, like a choker.
I know what you mean about the neck being a sort of "key point" on the body.
I bought one of my first serious girlfriends a basque - which was pretty racy stuff back then. It had no bra cups, but there were detachable shoulder straps.
She had the idea of using one of the straps as a choker, and when I saw how she looked that way I practically came right there and then. I was a lot more of a Dom in those days
So a choker would be a great idea. To make it less suspicious, why not have a choker for each day, with slightly different looks to them. One could be lacy black, another lacy red, then solid satins, etc. The fact that you're changing them each day, maybe to match an outfit would make it look less BDSM.
One other idea (and I know you like the neck as a position) would be to get a piercing instead of a collar. A clit piercing would allow it to stay private, but you could even wear some kind of tag saying "slave" or something down there.
But I agree with you - the neck just has a magic all its own. There's nothing like a real slave collar - I think that's why they have such psychological power in the scene.
Cheers,
Stanley
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