Collars for slaves only?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by subarama30, Jan 12, 2013.

  1. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

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    I have always had a thing about collars. I guess I have a thing about things around my neck in general but I like the idea of having a collar but it seems those I come across with them have been given them by their 'owner or master'. I do not have that type of relationship with my husband. I am not his property but I think I would like him to collar me.

    Does this seem weird?

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    When you say you don't have that sort of relationship, do you mean you don't have the 27/7 type of relationship that a collar would tend to imply?

    Or that you don't have a "kinky" relationship?

    I don't think you wanting to be collared is weird if you're in a D/s relationship with him, but it might be a bit of a surprise for him if you're not :)
  3. Moonlight

    Moonlight Member

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    We are not in a 24/7 either. When I think of someone who is I have always gotten the picture of someone who has no voice or choice but to kneel at the feet of his or her owner. That is not us at all. My husband has made it very clear he does not want a puppet who does exactly what he wants at all times. He says he loves the fire in me that will stand up to him when I do not agree and my ornery, sarcastic side that will mouth off just for fun.

    That said yes he has bought me a collar that looks like a regular necklace. I got out of the habit of wearing it when our daughter was a baby since she kept grabbing it and I was scared she would break it. I do have one though as well as a wedding ring.
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    A collar can mean what you want it to mean. It can mean you're his sub, but not his slave. It can mean you're his the way he's yours. If you're wearing it at kinky social activities people will assume you're a slave or at least part-time sub, but if you're only wearing it at home, who cares what it means to anyone else?
  5. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

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    @Stanley - I meant 24/7 type relationship or master/slave.

    We are equals in day to day life so I think he might think it a bit odd if I say I want a collar.

    @Moon - I know what you mean. I stopped wearing big earrings and long necklaces when I had kids, they were always yanking.

    I'd like to wear it all the time so I suppose it would have to look a bit less bdsm and more jewellery, don't want odd stares in the playground dropping my kids off ;) maybe a choker would work. I'm just thinking out loud now...

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    You could wear something symbolic, like a choker.

    I know what you mean about the neck being a sort of "key point" on the body.

    I bought one of my first serious girlfriends a basque - which was pretty racy stuff back then. It had no bra cups, but there were detachable shoulder straps.

    She had the idea of using one of the straps as a choker, and when I saw how she looked that way I practically came right there and then. I was a lot more of a Dom in those days :)

    So a choker would be a great idea. To make it less suspicious, why not have a choker for each day, with slightly different looks to them. One could be lacy black, another lacy red, then solid satins, etc. The fact that you're changing them each day, maybe to match an outfit would make it look less BDSM.

    One other idea (and I know you like the neck as a position) would be to get a piercing instead of a collar. A clit piercing would allow it to stay private, but you could even wear some kind of tag saying "slave" or something down there.

    But I agree with you - the neck just has a magic all its own. There's nothing like a real slave collar - I think that's why they have such psychological power in the scene.

  7. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Or you could make it a very 'girly' looking choker and tell people who ask that it's a symbol of your relationship--just something that says you're his woman. You could hang a small lock on it and tell people he has the key to your heart. Vanilla people will interpret it as a purely romantic gesture, but you and he will know it has a deeper meaning as well.
  8. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

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    I definitely think a choker is the way to go. I am liking the idea more and more. Thanks guys.

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