Collars, Collaring, and Everything Inbetween

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by sillylittlepet, May 12, 2010.

  1. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    there's been a lot of talk about collars lately

    I used to think that getting a collar was no big deal. Like any other toy or outfit, but after being here I've heard some very interesting views

    Tell me (and subsequently, everyone else) what's your view on collars and collaring?
    Experiences? Thoughts?

    Is there a difference between wearing a collar and being collared?
    Last edited: May 12, 2010
  2. Precious

    Precious Member

    I actually always , subconsciously, saw collaring as two different things for me. I have never been "collared" but i have worn a collar. I would often just wear a collar for fun during some pet play but in terms of being owned 'collared' i have not been in that way. I dunno if that makes sense or not
  3. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    Your response has prompted me to edit my original post ^-^
  4. Precious

    Precious Member

    haha glad to help?
  5. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    collaring is a signifying ceremony that shows devotion and commitment to the ongoing relationship that is shared between a master and a sub. its very akin to the exchanging of rings during a wedding ceremony, and doesnt actually have to be a collar, but something that holds a particular signifigance to the party in question. In the "story of O" they exchange silver rings that look like miniture gorean bands, while I've seen it done elegantly for those who spent time in the public eye and wish to remain private with a simple jeweled lock on a silver or gold chain.

    Collaring is very personal, and not something that is done on a whim. It speaks to the heart of a lifetime commitment and carries with it the devotion of another human being.
  6. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    For me, originally when we first started doing it, it wasn't for long, it was always collar on meant submissive role. It was a nice, easy way to tell whether one of us should be in role or not.
    Now though, I've seen about the ceremony, and it means a lot more, it almost means the same as a wedding ring, sort of like a normal wedding plus the extra D/s relationship on top.
  7. As far as collars go, I want to get my pup a well padded blue one with silver charms and two rings for a couple of leashes.

    Collaring? Well, I actually think collaring goes well beyond marriage. Marriage is too simple to describe it, and marriages don't last. Collaring is a deep, life long commitment. You pledge your life to a certain person, whether it be dom or sub, and you will do anything for that person. The ceremony itself can be a simple giving of a collar, an exchange of vows, tying of ribbons, drinking from cups, blood vows, most anything.
  8. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    as stated wearing a collar for play and being collared are two very different things.
  9. Precious

    Precious Member

    seems like it to me. The thing I find interested, why is it called collaring? even couples who are not into petplay call it collaring and im curious as to where this came from
  10. I happen to really, really resent that statement. Marriages between people who believe in the permanence of marriage, of working out your issues without jumping to the court room DO work. I've seen it work for many, many people.

    Anyhoo, I agree with the general consensus that [being collared] and [wearing collar] are two distinctly different things. . . and I'm not really finding anything in my head that would contribute to the conversation otherwise on that direct topic.

    I'm personally not actively interested in wearing a collar or being collared. Potentially because I have a very different, sort of . . . . I guess "mild"(? for lack of a better word) relationship than many other people on this board.
  11. Precious

    Precious Member

    I do agree with this; my parents have been married for about 25 years, my grand parents on both sides were married until one spouse passed away... I also know many 'collared' people who end up not lasting i think any form of relationship has its dedicators and its fakers
  12. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    that's so interesting!

    I really want to wear a collar for my master, but I don't think I'm anywhere near ready to be collared
  13. Placing a ring on someones finger does not create commitment. People who are deeply committed to each other will stay together. Some just happen to be married.

    Sorry to have offended you, but marriages, by my own definition, and surely not everyone's, don't last. By your definition they do.
  14. Precious

    Precious Member

    As i had said earlier, just like any relationship be it a SM relationship where they get collared, a marriage, a free love, a family, friends, any relationship between two people- there are those who last and those who don't. It's just human nature.

    P.s- when ever I read your sn EveryRose, I get that song stuck in my head lol
  15. I would never say that ALL marriages last. I think a huge problem is the huge emphasis on making your wedding day a huge ordeal that is now costing tens of thousands of dollars . . . and who, newly married or not, needs that kind of stress?

    A piece of metal means nothing. The symbolism behind a wedding ring means everything.

    I have a feeling we're going to have to agree to disagree, so I digress.

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