Can a BDSM relationship last?

Discussion in 'Section open for any subject to discuss' started by maxxx, Oct 22, 2011.

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  1. maxxx

    maxxx New Member


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    Hi, I am into being submissive to my girlfriend during sex, she is okay with this and has taken on a dominant role, and tells me she enjoys it, but mostly does it because it's what I like, and I'm wondering, is there any way a relationship can last without equality, I love my girlfriend, and we are equal outside the bedroom, but will my fetish eventually come between us, or will it last? Does anyone have any experience of a relationship like this lasting, or does anyone know of it lasting? All thoughts are appreciated, thanks, max :).
     
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  2. maxxx

    maxxx New Member


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    I understand that this does depend on the people involved, but I just wondered if there are any happy endings?
     
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  3. Nuka

    Nuka Member


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    I'm in a 24/7 with my sub/SO/pet. We've been in a 24/7 BDSM relationship most of our relationship. 20 months later we're still going strong.
     
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  4. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator


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    BDSM relationships can definitely last, but the fact that you're not sexually compatible might be a bad sign.
     
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  5. maxxx

    maxxx New Member


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    We could be sexually compatible, she sees it as a good thing having a sex slave, she thinks it just means that her sexual pleasure is the most important thing, and that what I enjoy comes second. I want to serve her in this way, so we're both happy, she gets exactly what she wants when she wants, and I get to have her take control. Does this make us compatible? Aren't there many people who could quite happily have a sub.
     
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  6. maxxx

    maxxx New Member

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  7. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator


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    Sorry, the 'she mostly does it because it's what I like' made me think she wasn't that into it. If you're both into it, yeah, no worries
     
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  8. maxxx

    maxxx New Member


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    Well she says she likes it, and there are obvious benefits for her, given that generally I like to be controlled more than anything else, but I'm not 100% on that, but hey, time will tell. Decided I'm just gonna relax, do as I'm told and enjoy the ride.
     
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  9. Kor

    Kor Member


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    The notion of equality in a couple or marriage is very new. Traditionally the husband orders, the wife obeys. Or at least, that's the face they had to present socially, or risk ostracism.

    Despite that, female domination has been around quite some time. The British Museum has quite a lot of Egyptian papyri containing femdom porn.
     
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  10. malvina

    malvina Active Member


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    It's fine as long as everyone involved is fine. But I am 100% sure I'd never be able to have a relationship like that with someone I cared about. I'm way too... I don't want to say jealous but that's sort of how it is.
     
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  11. master jey

    master jey Moderator

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  12. davidkep

    davidkep New Member


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    It is a classical problem with BDSM relationships, that the "sub" is the secret dominant part forcing his or her ideas of sexuality on the "dom". In that case, being in control is not a benefit - It's a burden.
    Though you're unsure, it sounds that she's OK with it. And your questions show that you care for her (but of course I don't know you, so I might be wrong).
    From experience, showing that you care for your partner (especially the partner and not only the relationship itself) and not giving the feeling that she's just another dominatrix, you can make your relationship last.
    To emphasise this, you might consider making compromises and asking her what she likes.
     
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  13. GentlemanJay

    GentlemanJay Guest


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    I know a couple who in real life are equal but sexually Dom/sub...they have been together for years and enjoy their sexual life continuing to explore. It works for them as they both entered willingly into this kind of sexual relationship.
    It is slightly different to your situation being that you the male are submissive but if you are both into it there is no reason why it can't last.....talk to each other about it maybe rather than you being sub and she being dominant you can both switch....don't be afraid to explore :)
     
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  14. mukundi

    mukundi New Member

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  15. Sajmon22

    Sajmon22 Active Member

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