Bratty friend loyal sub

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Sally, Sep 8, 2013.

  1. Sally

    Sally Member

    I've just gotten myself a little sub. He is perfect in so many ways, but not the friend bit. Before he became my sub, we were friends just fine. Now he has this wall with spikes on, angled against me when he talks and is kinda trying to top me. When I'm not Dominant, I am very submissiv, so it is kinda a problem.

    Have anyone had the problem before?
    What can I do?
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I think what you need to do is have an 'equal time' conversation, in which the two of you sit down as equals and talk about what you want in the relationship, what you like about it and what you dislike. Ask him why he has suddenly become so verbally aggressive with you. Listen closely and let him be honest. It's possible he's trying to be bratty to get you to be harsh with him. Or perhaps he's feeling uncomfortable with his submissiveness and is trying to compensate. And perhaps he doesn't know he's doing it. You won't know until you ask.

    Tell him why you dislike it. Then talk about how you two can deal with it. Ultimately, you can tell him that as the domme you aren't willing to tolerate it, so that he can either stop doing it or you will dismiss him. He, of course, has the right to refuse to stop, but he has to accept that it would mean the end of the relationship. As the domme, you are allowed to set rules and standards, but as the sub, he is allowed to refuse those rules and walk away. But if the issue really matters to you, make it clear what the consequences of continuing that behavior are. And don't make the consequences 'fun' or sexual in any way, unless you like the idea of punishing him for being bratty.

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