bf is sooo vanilla....

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by lost.soul07, Sep 8, 2009.

  1. lost.soul07

    lost.soul07 New Member

    i would like to try some BDSM... i just dont know how to bring it to my bf... he is soooo vanilla... any good suggestions or ideas for easing into it?? thanks :)
  2. I'd suggest starting with something simple, like ask him to spank you...

    Maybe buy him some handcuffs as a "present"? start light...

    Is this something you've ever done before? or you're looking to try for the first time with him?
  3. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    scratch him we love things like thet ;)
  4. serodio

    serodio Banned

    the power of the pussy compells! Use it, edge him into doing your bidding.
  5. GreyMac

    GreyMac Member

    Maybe you could try some dirty talk that involves action. During sex ask him to spank your ass. Twisting andor biting nipples ("Use your teeth!") etc. are good starting points. Later, "it felt so good when you spanked my ass the other night, would you let me lay across your lap and then spank me again? That would be really hot". In keeping with what Master Jey and serodio said, we guys are suckers for a woman telling us we or something we do, is hot. Show enthusiasm for small things and he will probably escalate the action on his own.

    Good luck!
  6. lost.soul07

    lost.soul07 New Member

    I have tried the whole spanking thing, he does it once and then doesn't seem to catch on that i like it! I tried suggesting the whole handcuff thing, he didn't seem into that! No its not something i have ever done before, but i would def like to try. Maybe he's just to vanilla for me?? What do i do?? Thanks for you advice everyone I really appreciate it!! :)
  7. After he spanks you, try bringing it up in conversation later, or the next day, how much it turned you on.

    How long have you guys been together?
  8. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    well if he's tooooooooooo vanila then nothin can be done
  9. This is true, but, that's part of the reason I was wondering how long they've been together... It could be lack of communication, or nervousness with each other... Never know.

    If they've been together for an extended period though, and it just is what it is, then lost.soul will just have to decide what's more important to her. Unfortunately, I've been in that situation. It's not fun. Thought I could be happy in a relationship without being my significant others sub, just being his "spouse". I had already experienced the bliss of being in a relationship with a loving Lord and being truly cherished the way only a Master can... Eventually, I just felt as though whatever attention my significant other gave me, it wasn't sufficient. Needless to say, things fell apart...
  10. If you think it's just a matter of him not "getting it", I'd suggest a scenario where you set yourself up to be found by him, in a setting that would leave no doubt as to what you want and how you want it.

    Pick a time when he'll find you in a short amount of time. Bind/gag or otherwise prepare yourself on the bed, with an array of toys (a paddle) laying beside you. You can also make a little sign with a note indicating what you'd like him to do.

    If that doesn't do it, I fear there's not a lot you can do. You're either into this, or not. If he's spanked you and couldn't tell from your reactions that you enjoyed it he's either really dense or not interested.

    Wish you well!
  11. lost.soul07

    lost.soul07 New Member

    We've been together for a year and a half!!
  12. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    yeah it meens you almost have no chance
  13. lost.soul07

    lost.soul07 New Member

    you really think we have no chance?? that makes me sad :(
  14. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    almost no chance...
  15. lost.soul07

    lost.soul07 New Member

    i figured so... so what do i do?? i mean the rest of our relationship is great... just the sex part is kinda lacking!!

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